DD got into a physical fight on the last day of school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would her summer be ruined?

Why would her summer be ruined?

+1. What?

Maybe the stain on her reputation, gossip or a bad start of getting in trouble and having to discuss with principal. Its exaggerating to say ruined but I can see op is really upset by this unexpected issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter is definitely the victim here. The girl has started rumours about my daughter and has cyber bullied her and accused her of stealing her boyfriend, because he was the bully’s crush in 8th grade. The girl shows jealousy towards my daughter, and I’ve seen how she’s bullied my daughter all year. I’ve gone to the counselors office many times. I will be going to the police department.

I hope for your daughter’s sake you are right. Have you asked her if she wants to press charges? There’s zero chance I would involve the police in something like this unless I had video evidence that my daughter was not the aggressor. Even then, I’d be reluctant given how easy it is for police to charge the wrong person.

Your advice for a young woman is to just suck it up when she is bullied and attacked???!!!! Are you for real?!!!!!

If she wasn't injured then what is the point?

What is the point of holding someone who has assaulted you accountable? What is wrong with you people?

The police are unlikely to file any charges in a fight between minors that resulted in no injuries. Just the truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reward her for defending herself. Press charges. The school won’t do anything real to the other girl.

The think the police are going to do something about some 16 yr olds pushing each other in the halls? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reward her for defending herself. Press charges. The school won’t do anything real to the other girl.

She wasn’t in danger and didn’t need to defend herself if the story is accurate and the other girl just pushed her. It turned into a fight with two willing participants and it doesn’t matter who started it.

If the other girl was strangling her or knocked her to the ground then defense by fighting back would be legitimate defending yourself from harm. But not a shave.

Agree. This is a fight between two participants. Your daughter didn’t have to engage in order to defend herself. This isnt something to bother police over. I would be in contact with the superintendent though, if complaints about the bullying have gone ignored by counselors and school principal. Perhaps a lawyer could be helpful in that regard. They will be forced to respond

[Anonymous]

#1 - Be radically on your kids side. that’s your job as HER mom. I can tell you are on her side so good job…

#2 - She gets credit for holding all this in all year, truly. She has shown a lot of restraint. Bad ending, but it would be soooooo much worse if it was anything but the last day. Hopefully things simmer down with time

#3 - someone made a good point about writing down your perspective right now and email it to yourself so it has a date stamp proving it’s freshly from the incident

#4 - help your daughter with a script to say to friends that shuts down gossip and escalation. “It happened, it’s iver, thank god it’s summer.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#1 - Be radically on your kids side. that’s your job as HER mom. I can tell you are on her side so good job…

#2 - She gets credit for holding all this in all year, truly. She has shown a lot of restraint. Bad ending, but it would be soooooo much worse if it was anything but the last day. Hopefully things simmer down with time

#3 - someone made a good point about writing down your perspective right now and email it to yourself so it has a date stamp proving it’s freshly from the incident

#4 - help your daughter with a script to say to friends that shuts down gossip and escalation. “It happened, it’s iver, thank god it’s summer.”

No. Your job as her mom is NOT to be radically on her side. It is to raise her to be a functional, responsible adult. The vast majority of parents who are radically on the side of their children are spoiling them and ruining them.

You are not your child’s defense lawyer.

It is not your job to defend them even if they are guilty.

Be on the side of their truth. Be on the side of the responsible lessons your daughter needs to learn from this situation. Did she handle being shoved as best she could? Has she advocated for herself with administrators? Could she have walked away rather than engaging? Are you getting the whole truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know she was defending herself? Most kids stretch the truth in what they say to their parents. She could easily end up being the one who gets arrested and charged if you go to the police and it turns out there are witnesses who name your daughter as responsible.

This was my first thought. You need to see those tapes, OP.

[Anonymous]

Punch to the face, not just a push. That shuts a bully up.

Good on your kid.