Daughter Wants to Stay for Summer, Wife Says No

[Anonymous]

Dude.

Man up and take control of your household.

[Anonymous]

Why did your wife say no? Give us some reasons? Like do you have young kids with your new wife and your daughter brings drugs into the house? Is your daughter noisy and a slob and you refuse to enforce household rules or do your part to run the house and your wife is the one who has to clean up after her? I highly doubt she is saying no just to say no, but you're here looking for validation but not willing to share any details. So whatever validation you get is based on an incomplete set of facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did your wife say no? Give us some reasons? Like do you have young kids with your new wife and your daughter brings drugs into the house? Is your daughter noisy and a slob and you refuse to enforce household rules or do your part to run the house and your wife is the one who has to clean up after her? I highly doubt she is saying no just to say no, but you're here looking for validation but not willing to share any details. So whatever validation you get is based on an incomplete set of facts.

Yes, on its face this looks like an evil stepmother letter and it's possible that's just what it is.

So is this a why thing? Is there a history here? Because either you're leaving a lot out or you've let your wife be crappy to your kid which isn't a good look on you either.

[Anonymous]

What a joke

The fake poster must be like 23 yo or something stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she your wife’s biological daughter?

No, she’s not.

Dump the second wife. Keep the duaghter. Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Everyone omits an important question - whose house is that ? OP - did you move into your wife’s house ? Is she a breadwinner ? Was your daughter living with you 50% prior to this ask ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fake

I don’t get why this would be fake. I care for both my wife and daughter, and I’m not sure how to handle this with my wife. She needs to give a reason, but won’t.

DP- because this is the age old trope of the wicked stepmother. If this is real, your wife is a queen B! Your daughter always comes first.

[Anonymous]

Of course my daughter will be coming to stay with me, but my wife isn’t happy about this. Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fake

I don’t get why this would be fake. I care for both my wife and daughter, and I’m not sure how to handle this with my wife. She needs to give a reason, but won’t.

What do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course my daughter will be coming to stay with me, but my wife isn’t happy about this. Op

WHY? Use your eyes and ears and try to parse through their previous sharing of the home and figure out what is annoying your wife. I bet it's something practical, not just "evil stepmother who doesn't like her husband's daughter".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she your wife’s biological daughter?

No, she’s not.

How is this even a question? Kids come first.

If my new spouse acted like this with my kids, I’d tell them to pack their bags and GTFO.

+1

Of course she lives there the summer before college! WTH?!!!

[Anonymous]

This breaks my heart. WHY do you men marry women like this?!?!

OP, before it's too late, do the right thing and set up a will/trust to ensure that you don't disinherit your children inadvertently. Most clueless people who divorce with kids fail to require this in their divorce settlement agreements, but it's critical that you set up a trust that will go to your children upon your death, at least for the funds you had when you remarried. You can leave your wife a life estate in the house you share with her, but the ownership of it should go to your children and any children you have with her. If you don't do this, everything will go to her and it will be her decision whether to give anything to your kids while she's alive and upon her death.

[Anonymous]

My father chose his wife--first AP partner, now my stepmom--over and over again since I was a tween. She treated me and my brother so horribly (and continues to this day, even treats our kids like that), that it forever changed my relationship with my father. He is a brilliant person, but a weak, emotionally closed off man.

He never stuck up for us once during her bizarre, hate filled, irrational rages (think screaming, hanging up the phone , throwing things, attacking a 9 year old for picking up a stuff animal of hers, etc) that happened at the drop of the hat. I could tell he hated the fact that she did this, but not enough to stand up for us (or, eventually, himself, as he is as often as not the target of her abuse these days).

You only have one summer left, and your daughter's off to college. Whatever your wife's objections, unless she can articulate a real, solid reason, please support your daughter.

My dad is probably in his final year or two. While I call him every few weeks and we dutifully visit (always staying in a hotel, despite their three homes, as we are not welcome) once a year or so, I am saddened that he has chosen not to have the meaningful, loving relatioships with either of his children that he could have had, had he been willing to choose us, for once. And in a good, healthy relationship, you do not need to choose between your spouse and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course my daughter will be coming to stay with me, but my wife isn’t happy about this. Op

Is the mom ok with that? Will you do all the cooking, cleaning and helping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Choose your daughter.

“Larla, Susie will be spending this summer with us before college. She will be here on June 5.”

Your second wife refuses to give you a reason why she doesn’t want her. If she divorces you over this better you know now than later.
There are decent women out there in the dating pool who will make room for your daughter. Your second wife knew that you had children when you got married.

That’s fine. He needs to clean, prepare the room, grocery shop, cook, do her laundry.