Elementary forum makes me realize how little parents care about the right things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are uptight about activities, grades, and social schedules in this sub, yet let their kids play dangerous sports, go to sleepovers, leave them home alone, and let them roam neighborhoods all in elementary.

I think a lot of the elder millennials want their child to have a similar childhood they had, but that's just not realistic. People drive crazier, I wouldn't let my kids bike in the neighborhood roads the way I used to. We know the risks of sleepovers. And I bet half these kids staying home alone can't give their sibling CPR if they choke on a snack or know not to put water on a grease fire...

They are uptight about social status stuff, and don't care about the actual safety of their children. It's like they are little social props.

Because many of us know that creativity comes from autonomy. Autonomy comes from freedom. Clearly you want your kids to be cogs in someone else’s wheel. You do you - stay out of judgement.

I’m not even about you

[Anonymous]

“I’m so worried about my 5th grade daughter. (Insert trouble she’s getting into on her phone here.)
Me: “yeah, I just think at this age they aren’t mature enough for a phone.”
Other mom: “ I agree but I can’t take it away. Literally all the other kids have one and she’d be left out.”
Me:”my kid doesn’t and I know for a fact x, y, and z don’t have one either.”
Other mom: “ I mean, the popular kids.”
Just admit that ALL you care about is your kid being popular! It trumps schoolwork, mental health, everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Besides all the other silly premises... the idea that neighborhood surroundings (drivers, people, etc) are any different now then they were 30 years ago is plain dumb. The issue is kids being over-nannied and not given opportunities to learn, making them awkward and not able to handle a simple bike ride or a few hours home alone.

Hard disagree.

+1 for examine They didn't commonly have huge SUVs that you can't see over so good never know of there's a child in front of your vehicle

Have you never ridden in a Cadillac from the 70s/80s? You are just making assumptions without any experience. Traffic safety stats prove you objectively wrong.

DP and my family had a big boat Caddy in the 80s so I do know what you are saying about visibility, but those giant cars weren't as ubiquitous as SUVs and crossovers are now. Most cars were sedans and even most luxury vehicles were small. Having a Cadillac was a weird anomaly. It's not like now where there are really very few sedans, tons of cross-overs, and tons of large SUVs on a truck base.

I also think the biggest issue with driving/traffic safety now is that everyone is distracted on their phones -- drivers, pedestrians, cyclists. We have lots more safety features now (seatbelts, back up cams, auto brake, etc.) but there are still a lot of traffic fatalities because people aren't really paying attention to driving. There's less drunk driving but more high driving. I definitely trust drivers around my kids less now than my parents trusted them around me when I was a kid, and I think I have good reason to be more worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I’m so worried about my 5th grade daughter. (Insert trouble she’s getting into on her phone here.)
Me: “yeah, I just think at this age they aren’t mature enough for a phone.”
Other mom: “ I agree but I can’t take it away. Literally all the other kids have one and she’d be left out.”
Me:”my kid doesn’t and I know for a fact x, y, and z don’t have one either.”
Other mom: “ I mean, the popular kids.”
Just admit that ALL you care about is your kid being popular! It trumps schoolwork, mental health, everything.

Lol nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Besides all the other silly premises... the idea that neighborhood surroundings (drivers, people, etc) are any different now then they were 30 years ago is plain dumb. The issue is kids being over-nannied and not given opportunities to learn, making them awkward and not able to handle a simple bike ride or a few hours home alone.

Hard disagree.

You can disagree if you like, but it’s objectively true. You just know about more bad things that happen (and bad things that random anonymous nobodies CLAIM happened, which may or may not be true) because you have access to 24/7 news coverage and the internet.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We come from a long line of equestrians. My great-grandmother rode in her old age and died from complications from a riding fall. Yet it's hard for me to say no when one of my kids really wants to ride. I'm a worry wart, so I researched helmets and found a new type that's more protective than others: the MIPS protection system. For a while we were at a barn that did not prioritize safety, and I'm glad to be out of that environment. We are now at a really excellent one that takes safety seriously: they choose well-trained, even-tempered horses to begin with, take good care of them, and conduct lessons in large spaces with no more than 4 horses at a time (crowding during a lesson is a known cause of rearing, bucking and accidents). DD knows that she needs to listen to her horse's signals, sense how it's feeling and prevent all triggers that might get them to react badly.

In life, you need to balance personal happiness and growth with safety. In some instances, you cannot escape adverse consequences: I was hit by a car at 10 years old.

I don't think you should be so quick to judge others.

OP here. Same, my mother had horses. My grandparents on the other side did too. My sister has a horse. Doesn't make the sport safe. A ride every once in a while is fine, but when I saw that girl get a new horse 2 months after getting bucked off and hurt, I knew it was the parents. They would also bribe her with Starbucks to ride 4x a week. Just one example. They owned an airport.

As far as the helicopter comments, I do walk to the grocery store for an item or two (3 min walk) but I FaceTime my kids on my walk back. I also let them play outside with the neighbor kids, they just can't ride by the cars. They ride at the basketball courts that are always empty. There's a way to give your children independence safely. Also my insurance is going up every year due to the crazy amount of accidents in my city, don't need some guy without insurance hitting my child.

You let you kid have social media which is the worst danger in modern times then sit on your high horse (literally) judging everyone else?! WTF!

OP here. Social media? Huh? By "FaceTime" I mean I am with her on zoom from her iPad. She doesn't have a phone. Only contacts on her zoom are myself, her father, and grandma. No social media. I do allow supervised YouTube and Roblox in moderation.