Young Stay At Home Husband: Bored What to Do?

[Anonymous]

OP here:

I appreciate all the comments and suggestions. I'll definitely be taking some of them up and try to improve my situation.

For those who called me a "troll," grow up. I outlined before about my unique situation and I'm not hiding the fact that I am very, very fortunate to come from family money which has allowed me to be riskier with my financial situations, combined with when I got into the market (2010s), and inheriting family money. I've managed to end up in a fortunate situation.

DW doesn't want to leave her job as she's very interested in a promotion (hence why the longer hours) and believes she can obtain it by the EOY.

We've been working on the DB situation, including speaking with someone as someone else suggested so I appreciate that concern.

As for now, thank you all for the help!

[Anonymous]

OP —

I would second the suggestion to consider joining a church. I did it a few years ago. I grew up going to church, then went through a long period where I simply didn’t care about religion. As I got into my 40s, faced some challenges, problems in my marriage, watched some friends die … I started to think big picture again. I randomly went to a non-denominational church one Sunday morning three years ago and I haven’t missed a Sunday since. I have found an incredible community there — not at all geared towards women alone. I belong to a weekly church group that is a cross section of people — some married, some not, some older, some younger, evenly split between men and women, and a wide range of ethnicities and races too. We are a really close knit group — we celebrate successes, bear our burdens, etc. It’s been a fantastic and complete unexpected change in my life.

Also — my wife is not a believer at all and doesn’t come to this with me. And that’s just fine. It is kind of “my activity” and while I would love for her to join me, it’s also given me a certain independence that was probably lacking before. I don’t “need” her for this part of my life and that’s a good thing.

One final thought — if you do become serious about religion, it can take you on an incredible intellectual journey too. I get more and more into it, I read books about it, I study the Bible in a serious way. I’ve learned a bit of Greek and Hebrew. It’s been a great intellectual enrichment in my life — way more than any hobby has provided.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer.

[Anonymous]

"she does come home she's too tired and we have a DB situation and it feels like she doesn't really notice me."

Does she respect you?

[Anonymous]

Learn a solo sport. Join a team sport like adult soccer, bocce ball, hockey. Coach a kids sport team.

[Anonymous]

He claims to be a depressed trust fund baby. Ha.

[Anonymous]

DC is a hard area for this - New York and LA have a higher percentage of people with free time during the day. Even when I was a SAHM in DC I had a hard time finding others.

I second the gym -something like CrossFit or OrangeTheory. I also like the idea of joining a tennis or pickleball league. Or soccer, volleyball, whatever you play. Bring your laptop to coffee shops like Politics and Prose. Find some interesting older retired men (country club?) to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:volunteer in school and join the PTA.

When we moved here, I was wfh, and so the only people I met were through my kids' school.

- a man at the PTA meeting?! That will go over well.

OP here. Would it be odd? I feel as if other moms might think I have nefarious reasons for joining. I can't imagine a lot of other moms would like a 20-30 year old male joining the PTA....

Our PTA has male members on the board.

The problem is you moved to the burbs too young.

[Anonymous]

First Robotics mentoring.

Either in your burb or an urban team.

There are multiple age levels so it can be nearly an all year round hobby.

[Anonymous]

This area is really awful to meet new people. It's a rat race to nowhere. Get out while you're young. Move out west. Arizona, Colorado, Montana and even New Mexico. You will meet chill people with better life balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This area is really awful to meet new people. It's a rat race to nowhere. Get out while you're young. Move out west. Arizona, Colorado, Montana and even New Mexico. You will meet chill people with better life balance.

Stay out of Arizona and New Mexico. They’re horrible, and no, you won’t meet people. Everyone stays inside and keeps to themselves.

Colorado is pretty good. But, it’s expensive, so you’ll still be stuck working.

[Anonymous]

This is 100% a fake post. Why are people engaging.

[Anonymous]

I know a dad who sold a company and then was basically in your position with lots of free time. He volunteers at a hospital and he’s super active in several sports leagues. Seems pretty happy with that setup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP —

I would second the suggestion to consider joining a church. I did it a few years ago. I grew up going to church, then went through a long period where I simply didn’t care about religion. As I got into my 40s, faced some challenges, problems in my marriage, watched some friends die … I started to think big picture again. I randomly went to a non-denominational church one Sunday morning three years ago and I haven’t missed a Sunday since. I have found an incredible community there — not at all geared towards women alone. I belong to a weekly church group that is a cross section of people — some married, some not, some older, some younger, evenly split between men and women, and a wide range of ethnicities and races too. We are a really close knit group — we celebrate successes, bear our burdens, etc. It’s been a fantastic and complete unexpected change in my life.

Also — my wife is not a believer at all and doesn’t come to this with me. And that’s just fine. It is kind of “my activity” and while I would love for her to join me, it’s also given me a certain independence that was probably lacking before. I don’t “need” her for this part of my life and that’s a good thing.

One final thought — if you do become serious about religion, it can take you on an incredible intellectual journey too. I get more and more into it, I read books about it, I study the Bible in a serious way. I’ve learned a bit of Greek and Hebrew. It’s been a great intellectual enrichment in my life — way more than any hobby has provided.

What church? McLean Bible Church? Currently looking.

[Anonymous]

I honestly wish I could marry you, how wonderful that you are looking after your family like this. I hope you find some friends and activity soon, staying home is incredibly isolating. I hope your bedroom situation improves and most importantly I hope you stay financially independent. Really, best wishes your way!