Young Stay At Home Husband: Bored What to Do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:volunteer in school and join the PTA.

When we moved here, I was wfh, and so the only people I met were through my kids' school.

- a man at the PTA meeting?! That will go over well.

Our PTA treasurer is a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:volunteer in school and join the PTA.

When we moved here, I was wfh, and so the only people I met were through my kids' school.

- a man at the PTA meeting?! That will go over well.

OP here. Would it be odd? I feel as if other moms might think I have nefarious reasons for joining. I can't imagine a lot of other moms would like a 20-30 year old male joining the PTA....

You'll be fine, but you may get hit on LOL

I hope your marriage can withstand the temptation. Your situation seems like it might be rife for cheating - means and opportunity.

He’s already thinking about an AP.

[Anonymous]

1. OP, are you carrying 100% of the mental load? Ask your DW for her perspective on this. If I were in your position, I’d start here. It might take awhile to make the transfer, but it will probably help the DB. If not, ask your DW to consider a less demanding job. If the finances won’t allow it, consider stepping into a second job to allow her to get some better hours. You want your permanent job now, so you’ll have accrued leave for when you have a baby someday.

2. A men’s Bible study might work for you. It will be older guys or early in the morning.

3. Join a gym. Planet Fitness is cheap, and might attract men who work odd hours, such as shift work. It’s okay if you have to drive to a different part of town.

4. Food banks need strong backs to do lifting. You’ll met some kind people.

5. Go for a walk when everybody is walking their dogs in the morning. In my neighborhood, it is right after the elementary bus picks up the kids. Go at the same time and say hi to the guys after you’d seen them for a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Probably should talk to your wife about that dead bedroom

Consider volunteering at your child’s school

Yeah we've spoken about it and she's trying and I'm really understanding but I'm a young man who enjoys working out and staying active and I have the free time to do it while she's working a high stress high pay job in D.C. so our libidos just aren't aligned especially with the children situation. Really why I don't want an AP and try to help but I mean, there's just such a gulf between us and she's always just so exhausted from her job being that she's junior in her position and frequently works late nights or brings work home.

You don’t seem compatible in the least. Why not amicably go your own ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this. I presume you are working during the day? If you go to the gym, have kids, own a business AND do chores then how do you have so much additional free time?

I suspect you’re not working that much. Owning a business is a lot of work!! Do you have staff?

+1

He does not do anything at home because maybe he has domestic staff.

He does not have a "business" but he has trust fund and stocks that does not need him to do anything more than keep an eye on the earnings. OR he is living off the money of his wife and has a "cover story" that he WFH in his business. His wife is stuck with him because she had a kid. Also, she will have to give him alimony if she divorces him.

His kids have nannies, go to school or they are in daycare. He certainly does not sound like the involved parent who are toting their kids to all kinds of activities and fun places and making sure that they are safe, secure, well fed etc.

So, what is he doing whole day?

Marriage sounds like shit.

I think he is just another troll.

[Anonymous]

If you have so much money why is your wife working like a dog?

[Anonymous]

ONLY FANS

You should start your own account and earn some money.

[Anonymous]

Join the PTA - the suburban ladies of DCUM are weirdos. Many men have been involved in my children’s schools in DC proper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:volunteer in school and join the PTA.

When we moved here, I was wfh, and so the only people I met were through my kids' school.

- a man at the PTA meeting?! That will go over well.

OP here. Would it be odd? I feel as if other moms might think I have nefarious reasons for joining. I can't imagine a lot of other moms would like a 20-30 year old male joining the PTA....

I'm a current female PTA board member (non-DMV). There have been some active male PTA participants at every schooling level in my district. We have 6 elementaries, 1 middle, and 1 high school. Male participants are welcome and can be quite helpful. I have seen one male PTA elementary president, a male high school PTA president, and various VP roles so far in our district.

Feel free to attend PTA. If it's not the sort with a mean girls clique, it will be like any other modestly effortful volunteering opportunity. Modest effort with some modest community building and good feeling in return.

I believe the reason men do not come is because PTA is typically an economically inefficient use of time and it's emotional labor and social event organizing heavy. Also I feel that men tend to concern themselves less with interacting directly with their kids' teachers (who are mainly women until high school). It is definitely a female coded pastime. But there's no reason to perpetuate gender stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One big problem you're going to face is you just are not going to encounter young men in your situation around here. You will encounter young women and you might end up balls deep in one due to your dead bedroom, though, so tread carefully.

This is the plot of Little Children by Tom Perrotta.

"Little Children is a 2004 novel by Tom Perrotta that explores suburban malaise, infidelity, and the disillusionment of modern parenthood through the interconnected lives of several characters in a Boston suburb, including a bored housewife (Sarah) and a stay-at-home dad (Todd) who begin an affair, all set against the backdrop of a convicted child molester moving back to town. The book is known for its dark humor, sharp social commentary, and exploration of the gap between the idealized image of suburban life and the messy reality of its inhabitants, and was adapted into a critically acclaimed film in 2006. "

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is real or not, but you should join a run club or a cycling club. I see a lot of 30-something year old men out on group runs and group bike rides. Find yourself a good running store or bike shop and ask them for recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Um people, OP doesn't have children. He can't join a PTA. Such idiots here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP did not say that he is a dad? Did he?

When my kids were little, I took care of them and I was regularly taking them to the zoo, aquarium, parks, museums, shows, mommy and me classes, grocery shopping, errands etc. I did not have any close friends and when I went back to work, I realized that I did not even have time for my kids and household. I became a SAHM again.

OP seems to have no kids and lots of money. I would think that he should -
- go to therapy and understand what he should do to make his wife like him and change his DB situation
- start some new ventures to create alternate revenue streams,
- start an organic garden at home or grow a food forest,
- start learning new things in a community college or online.
- pick up a hobby - photography, cooking
- pick up skills that may be needed in the new dystopian world
- travel in US and around the world whenever he gets good cheap tickets.
- visit his family often.
- get solar panels installed. Get an energy audit of his house done. Other home improvements
- entertain more.
- go to the gym
- organize meet ups
- start a charitable organization for a good cause


OP, just don't have an affair, OR mess up your health/wealth/relationship/reputation OR have bad habits like addiction/gambling/porn OR do anything morally or legally bad.

I think this post is the most helpful. Maybe skip the therapy suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this is real or not, but you should join a run club or a cycling club. I see a lot of 30-something year old men out on group runs and group bike rides. Find yourself a good running store or bike shop and ask them for recommendations.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn’t be living in NOVA or really in DC either. It’s a company town and people are here for work. This isn’t a city where independently wealthy move to enjoy life. If you were living in LA or NY you’d have no problem making friends and people wouldn’t find issue with your free time and money. In DC it is going to raise eyebrows.