Abusive Husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left this and you can too.

Unfortunately he did get partial custody and now says horrible things to my kids, accuses me of sleeping with family members, and the like. Winning is being able to hang up and block him.

NP and yes, no matter what some really terrible family court professionals think abusers definitely go on to extend that behavior (even if just verbal) to their kids. This is the terrible part about divorce no one warns you about when they're all screaming "just leave" as if post-separation abuse is not a thing.

People screaming "just leave" generally do so from an economically, socially and emotionally secure perch that has nothing to do with the reality of people who have actually faced this situation first hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left this and you can too.

Unfortunately he did get partial custody and now says horrible things to my kids, accuses me of sleeping with family members, and the like. Winning is being able to hang up and block him.

NP and yes, no matter what some really terrible family court professionals think abusers definitely go on to extend that behavior (even if just verbal) to their kids. This is the terrible part about divorce no one warns you about when they're all screaming "just leave" as if post-separation abuse is not a thing.

People screaming "just leave" generally do so from an economically, socially and emotionally secure perch that has nothing to do with the reality of people who have actually faced this situation first hand.

That's fair. It's also said by people on the outside who can see how awful the behavior is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is dealing with this nonsense in 2026. Please just make an air tight plan with an attorney and perhaps a therapist and GTFO. Do not leave anything to chance. He sounds like the sort of man who might become violent once you try to leave.

What?

Women are no longer putting up with nonsense like this from men.

Um, that's not even remotely true. Unfortunately. You clearly don't understand how abuse works. Women don't just start putting up with nonsense like this. The abuser spends months to years isolating them and breaking them down first. In any decade, century, or millennium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left this and you can too.

Unfortunately he did get partial custody and now says horrible things to my kids, accuses me of sleeping with family members, and the like. Winning is being able to hang up and block him.

NP and yes, no matter what some really terrible family court professionals think abusers definitely go on to extend that behavior (even if just verbal) to their kids. This is the terrible part about divorce no one warns you about when they're all screaming "just leave" as if post-separation abuse is not a thing.

People screaming "just leave" generally do so from an economically, socially and emotionally secure perch that has nothing to do with the reality of people who have actually faced this situation first hand.

That's fair. It's also said by people on the outside who can see how awful the behavior is.

One of the quoted PPs here. The behavior might be awful, but all leaving does is transmute it. After you leave you move from the normal power and control wheel to the post-separation abuse power and control wheel. You might (not always) be physically safer, but you are usually far more financially destroyed, even if you have your own income and savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left this and you can too.

Unfortunately he did get partial custody and now says horrible things to my kids, accuses me of sleeping with family members, and the like. Winning is being able to hang up and block him.

NP and yes, no matter what some really terrible family court professionals think abusers definitely go on to extend that behavior (even if just verbal) to their kids. This is the terrible part about divorce no one warns you about when they're all screaming "just leave" as if post-separation abuse is not a thing.

People screaming "just leave" generally do so from an economically, socially and emotionally secure perch that has nothing to do with the reality of people who have actually faced this situation first hand.

That's fair. It's also said by people on the outside who can see how awful the behavior is.

One of the quoted PPs here. The behavior might be awful, but all leaving does is transmute it. After you leave you move from the normal power and control wheel to the post-separation abuse power and control wheel. You might (not always) be physically safer, but you are usually far more financially destroyed, even if you have your own income and savings.

This exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left this and you can too.

Unfortunately he did get partial custody and now says horrible things to my kids, accuses me of sleeping with family members, and the like. Winning is being able to hang up and block him.

NP and yes, no matter what some really terrible family court professionals think abusers definitely go on to extend that behavior (even if just verbal) to their kids. This is the terrible part about divorce no one warns you about when they're all screaming "just leave" as if post-separation abuse is not a thing.

People screaming "just leave" generally do so from an economically, socially and emotionally secure perch that has nothing to do with the reality of people who have actually faced this situation first hand.

That's fair. It's also said by people on the outside who can see how awful the behavior is.

One of the quoted PPs here. The behavior might be awful, but all leaving does is transmute it. After you leave you move from the normal power and control wheel to the post-separation abuse power and control wheel. You might (not always) be physically safer, but you are usually far more financially destroyed, even if you have your own income and savings.

This exactly.

DV prevention advocate here. All if this is absolutely true. And the fact remains that the most dangerous time for a victim is when they leave because the abuser realizes they are losing control and get angrier. When someone leaves, they have to make a safety plan and set up supports. Please meet with a DV organization that can help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left this and you can too.

Unfortunately he did get partial custody and now says horrible things to my kids, accuses me of sleeping with family members, and the like. Winning is being able to hang up and block him.

NP and yes, no matter what some really terrible family court professionals think abusers definitely go on to extend that behavior (even if just verbal) to their kids. This is the terrible part about divorce no one warns you about when they're all screaming "just leave" as if post-separation abuse is not a thing.

People screaming "just leave" generally do so from an economically, socially and emotionally secure perch that has nothing to do with the reality of people who have actually faced this situation first hand.

That's fair. It's also said by people on the outside who can see how awful the behavior is.

One of the quoted PPs here. The behavior might be awful, but all leaving does is transmute it. After you leave you move from the normal power and control wheel to the post-separation abuse power and control wheel. You might (not always) be physically safer, but you are usually far more financially destroyed, even if you have your own income and savings.

This exactly.

DV prevention advocate here. All if this is absolutely true. And the fact remains that the most dangerous time for a victim is when they leave because the abuser realizes they are losing control and get angrier. When someone leaves, they have to make a safety plan and set up supports. Please meet with a DV organization that can help.

OP, of everything in this threat this is the advice you should follow. Not "just leave." Not "just deal." But "meet with compassionate people who know about what all the options look like and make a plan." Every part of the DMV has free hotlines you can call, for example. Just do it from a safe number and leave no trace of the call on, for example, your cell. Even if your husband has never looked at your phone before, when the control starts to slip they do all sorts of things you'd never expect before.