Abusive Husband

[Anonymous]

My husband regularly calls me names- bctch, whore, slut, psycho, stupid, crazy, worthless, are the main ones. This happens everyday during small or big arguments, and in everyday moments. He tells me no one else would ever want me and that I’m lucky he stays. He says I ruin everything and he doesn’t know why he ever married me.

He puts me down in many other ways: he tells me I’m a bad wife and a worse mom, and makes me feel like I’m remembering things wrong, blames me for his anger, says our kids should hate me, and gives me the silent for days to weeks. He threatens to leave, saying I wouldn’t survive without him.

He sometimes brings up my past to hurt me. He says that because my dad left for another family when I was a two year-old, I’m worthless and no one has ever loved me. He says my mom should’ve abandoned me too and started over like my dad did or that they should’ve never had me at all. He tells me about stepdad-how he physically abused (fractures) emotionally, and financially abused, and very creepy and inappropriate toward me, though he did not touch me — and uses that to make me feel unwanted, and says I deserved it.

He also insults my past relationships, saying that my exes are worthless just like me or that my exes are better off without me.
He accuses me of cheating with male friends or people at work, says I probably have or will, and says he should cheat too.

When I tell him that this is cruel, he says I’m too sensitive, that I provoke him, or that I deserve it. Sometimes he says he didn’t mean it, but it keeps happening.

I guess I just need to let this out. I’m frankly tired of it and don’t know what to do. Has anyone dealt with this a partner who’s like this? How did you cope?

[Anonymous]

Tell us why you married this man and remain married to him?

You need to divorce. ASAP

[Anonymous]

You can keep living like that or you can leave. Not really a 3rd option unless he has a TBI and major personality change.

So the question is, do you want to keep living like that?

[Anonymous]

I think you need to leave and I do not say that lightly. I’m someone who rarely suggests divorce. But this seems like chronic and fairly serious abuse.

But please ensure you have a safety plan and take any threats seriously. This is a high risk time for DV

[Anonymous]

You need to leave. Never ever stay with anyone who acts like that.

[Anonymous]

OP! My heart hurts for you. This is AWFUL, AWFUL. Call a lawyer tomorrow. Do not let your kids grow up hearing him treat you like this. You do not deserve this.

[Anonymous]

Dude, leave this guy. Or better yet, get him to leave.

I agree with PP about having a safety plan.

If you live in a jurisdiction where you can record him, do that. Get recordings of him insulting you and name calling.

How old are your kids? Do you have family nearby? Do you have a job?

If you have family nearby, slowly and secretly pack up stuff to move over there, like some of your and the kids’ warmer-weather clothes.

Consult an attorney about how to protect yourself financially and how to position yourself for any custody battle. Make copies of all important documents, or better yet put them all in one folder and be ready to grab the originals when you leave.

[Anonymous]

You need to call a Domestic Abuse hotline and get help in planning your exit. You do not deserve this.

1-800-799-SAFE

They can help you figure out where to go from here.

[Anonymous]

Even if you are everything he says and worse, even then he has no right to belittle you, a regular person would just divorce.

That being said, why did you marry him and choosing to stay with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you are everything he says and worse, even then he has no right to belittle you, a regular person would just divorce.

That being said, why did you marry him and choosing to stay with him?

No, you’re not allowed to blame the victim.

Valid questions include, “What’s wrong with him?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you are everything he says and worse, even then he has no right to belittle you, a regular person would just divorce.

That being said, why did you marry him and choosing to stay with him?

SHUT IT. what is wrong with people like you? Do you have brain damage?

[Anonymous]

Divorce STAT.

My very abusive father said all these things to my mom. She got out as soon as she could and went on to live her best life. You can do it too. Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

You need to make an exit plan and leave. Please do not stay with this person.

[Anonymous]

Leave before you start believing his abusive lies

[Anonymous]

You cope by either leaving, or kicking him out.

See a lawyer and get out now.