Birthday party no shows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

It is rude, but you seem bitter about the money. So don’t book those kinds of parties as it seems you have a flakey circle of friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

If this is so little money to you then honestly, be grateful you have the means to give your kid these things and don’t let a no show ruin a happy day. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness - it is truly not worth it to be bitter at a mom who you think is a “mess” who “doesn’t have her shit together.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

If this is so little money to you then honestly, be grateful you have the means to give your kid these things and don’t let a no show ruin a happy day. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness - it is truly not worth it to be bitter at a mom who you think is a “mess” who “doesn’t have her shit together.”

I was annoyed after the party. I’m over it. DD saw the girl and asked why she didn’t come to her party and the girl was confused. She seemed to have not known. My daughter still likes the girl. I’m not a fan of the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

If this is so little money to you then honestly, be grateful you have the means to give your kid these things and don’t let a no show ruin a happy day. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness - it is truly not worth it to be bitter at a mom who you think is a “mess” who “doesn’t have her shit together.”

I was annoyed after the party. I’m over it. DD saw the girl and asked why she didn’t come to her party and the girl was confused. She seemed to have not known. My daughter still likes the girl. I’m not a fan of the mom.

Well, that was rude of your daughter to put her on the spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

If this is so little money to you then honestly, be grateful you have the means to give your kid these things and don’t let a no show ruin a happy day. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness - it is truly not worth it to be bitter at a mom who you think is a “mess” who “doesn’t have her shit together.”

I was annoyed after the party. I’m over it. DD saw the girl and asked why she didn’t come to her party and the girl was confused. She seemed to have not known. My daughter still likes the girl. I’m not a fan of the mom.

Well, that was rude of your daughter to put her on the spot.

DP lol okay

Adults can’t be held to normal communication and etiquette standards, but kids should know the nuances of what it means to put people “on the spot.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

If this is so little money to you then honestly, be grateful you have the means to give your kid these things and don’t let a no show ruin a happy day. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness - it is truly not worth it to be bitter at a mom who you think is a “mess” who “doesn’t have her shit together.”

Regardless of how much $ OP has to just blow (irrelevant btw from someone who has an 8 figure income) It's not only time, effort & & but your child gets extremely disappointed when people just don't show up and they've been asking all week if so & so is coming.
I wil SHAMELESSLY message people a week out, 2 days out, etc to avoid this disappointment. I don't care, so many of you were seriously raised in a barn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

Surely your kid can find something to do that doesn’t require you to commit to a specific number of people AND prepay for that exact number. I honestly can’t think of any venue where that is the only way to do it. Even climbing…you can pay per person. I’ve don’t climbing parties. They don’t even provide instructors. Even if yours does, you don’t have to use them. An adult that does the 30 min training can be the designated belay person for multiple kids, maybe 3-4?

Op here. When you book a party, they request a headcount a few days ahead of time. On the day of, I could probably even change it. When the party already started and you are expecting this person to come, they don’t adjust after the party. Don’t know what to tell you.

There are some rude people on this website who seem to think no showing is ok. This girl is a good school friend of my child. The mom is a bit of a mess. It is what it is.

Some people have their shit together and others don’t. If you have a work meeting, you would put it on your calendar. If your child has a birthday party that you RSVPd yes to, I would think that they would have some sort of calendar to remind them. Who knows?

We have a seven figure income and this $50 is nothing to us. I still think these people are really rude.

If this is so little money to you then honestly, be grateful you have the means to give your kid these things and don’t let a no show ruin a happy day. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness - it is truly not worth it to be bitter at a mom who you think is a “mess” who “doesn’t have her shit together.”

Regardless of how much $ OP has to just blow (irrelevant btw from someone who has an 8 figure income) It's not only time, effort & & but your child gets extremely disappointed when people just don't show up and they've been asking all week if so & so is coming.
I wil SHAMELESSLY message people a week out, 2 days out, etc to avoid this disappointment. I don't care, so many of you were seriously raised in a barn

It’s fine to message people and confirm RSVPs. Just don’t expect sympathy that your time and effort was blemished by one kid not showing up. Especially if it is someone you already knew was flakey. If your kid cannot handle the disappointment then don’t throw a large party. Some kids do better with a lower key event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are people who don’t open evites or don’t RSVP. Then there are people who just don’t show up. Some people are so rude. I still have to pay for them.

I had someone text me and say their kid was sick. That is fine but to no show is just so rude.

Have these people never thrown a party before?

If you can't afford the party you shouldn't throw it. Life happens, people get busy, maybe someone's mom died and texting you was the last thing on their mind.

Many invitations go to spam folders so the people who never opened it probably never saw it. Others maybe saw it and then forgot to RSVP. Your kid's party isn't as important to them as it is to you.

If you come across someone who continually does this, then stop inviting them to things. Otherwise, get over it and move.

- a Type A, hyper-organized person who is never late, honors commitments, and doesn't cancel because "something better" comes up, but also realizes that a birthday party is just a party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of my invitations get put in my spam and they are missed!! send a direct email to them checking in to make sure they got it or a text

So check your spam. Don’t your kids like to be included?

I haven't checked my spam folder in YEARS. Who has time for that?

I keep an email address just for orders (so all the mailing list emails can go there) and I pretty obsessively unsubscribe from emails I don't want and still my main inbox is constantly flooded with emails so I'm sure I miss some. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. I have many gmail accounts and glance at spam daily in case something I care about is there. Then I delete spam. Do people just leave hundreds there for 30mdays?
Looking at the headings in a mailbox does not get you malware.

Yep. I also fold my laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer, I make my bed every day, I run the Roomba and/or vacuum every other day, I empty the dishwasher when it's finished, I never leave dishes in the sink, but checking my spam folders? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand your frustration. After I felt my child's party was almost derailed by the numerous last minute cancellations and strange choices people made, I realized I had to lower my expectations for other parents. Can't parent the parents. Gave them grace. Imagined they were all having a really bad day. It helped.

Like...to not attend your child's birthday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

From the OP (I'm quoting you here):

"There are people who don’t open evites or don’t RSVP."

So yeah, you're complaining about everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

Don’t invite them next time. And where are you paying $50/kid? Or are you including the cost of fruit punch, pizza,
and cake? Because you can take all that as leftovers. Individually wrap any cake slices and freeze them.

You also may across as way too intense. Maybe the other parents pick up on that and realize they’re not into it? They shouldn’t RSVP yes and not show, but you seem very, very angry.

🤷🏼‍♀️

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

From the OP (I'm quoting you here):

"There are people who don’t open evites or don’t RSVP."

So yeah, you're complaining about everyone.

Op here. I’m not complaining about everyone. I was complaining about people who RSVP yes and then don’t show up.

We stopped doing all class parties. These are friends of my child. When my child was in preschool or kindergarten, there were always some people who never opened the invitation or didn’t RSVP. Those are just no’s in my book. If it was an actual friend, I would follow up with parents.

As an adult, I don’t hang out with flaky people. I have to tolerate some of these parents because my child is friends with their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

From the OP (I'm quoting you here):

"There are people who don’t open evites or don’t RSVP."

So yeah, you're complaining about everyone.

Op here. I’m not complaining about everyone. I was complaining about people who RSVP yes and then don’t show up.

We stopped doing all class parties. These are friends of my child. When my child was in preschool or kindergarten, there were always some people who never opened the invitation or didn’t RSVP. Those are just no’s in my book. If it was an actual friend, I would follow up with parents.

As an adult, I don’t hang out with flaky people. I have to tolerate some of these parents because my child is friends with their child.

I’m with you OP. I don’t get how people can defend the position that it’s just peachy to confirm that they’ll be somewhere and no show without any communication.