Birthday party no shows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

Don’t invite them next time. And where are you paying $50/kid? Or are you including the cost of fruit punch, pizza,
and cake? Because you can take all that as leftovers. Individually wrap any cake slices and freeze them.

You also may across as way too intense. Maybe the other parents pick up on that and realize they’re not into it? They shouldn’t RSVP yes and not show, but you seem very, very angry.

🤷🏼‍♀️

Not OP but I had the same thing happen this past weekend- DS is in 4th grade and invited 10 kids total, 8 responded yes then 2 never showed up and I didn't get a cancellation text or anything. I don't even really know the parents, we are relatively new to the school and of the 2 no-shows I've met 1 parent in passing. I find it rude and understand why OP finds it rude- venting on an anonymous meesage board does not mean we are rampaging around kids' events with angry intense faces. Even if that was the case and the parents were scared by our intensity they should just reply "no" to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

Don’t invite them next time. And where are you paying $50/kid? Or are you including the cost of fruit punch, pizza,
and cake? Because you can take all that as leftovers. Individually wrap any cake slices and freeze them.

You also may across as way too intense. Maybe the other parents pick up on that and realize they’re not into it? They shouldn’t RSVP yes and not show, but you seem very, very angry.

🤷🏼‍♀️

You havent hosted a fun bday party have you. I treated my kid to a climbing party and it was $60 a kid with no food. I also had a race car party that was $50/kid for them to have 3 or 4 races.

+1

[Anonymous]

Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

Don’t invite them next time. And where are you paying $50/kid? Or are you including the cost of fruit punch, pizza,
and cake? Because you can take all that as leftovers. Individually wrap any cake slices and freeze them.

You also may across as way too intense. Maybe the other parents pick up on that and realize they’re not into it? They shouldn’t RSVP yes and not show, but you seem very, very angry.

🤷🏼‍♀️

Not OP but I had the same thing happen this past weekend- DS is in 4th grade and invited 10 kids total, 8 responded yes then 2 never showed up and I didn't get a cancellation text or anything. I don't even really know the parents, we are relatively new to the school and of the 2 no-shows I've met 1 parent in passing. I find it rude and understand why OP finds it rude- venting on an anonymous meesage board does not mean we are rampaging around kids' events with angry intense faces. Even if that was the case and the parents were scared by our intensity they should just reply "no" to begin with.

This. Agree completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

This really depends on the venue- someone mentioned a climibing party, I don't think that's something you can just do ad hoc, there are instructors leading the group. TBH we did this one year and that was my DC's favorite party, it was low key in the sense that you brought all your own food. But it's still not a cheap party per person, I recall we limited how many kids he coould invite.

Another year we did Dave and Buster's without a formal party package and just paid for the kids game cards and ordered food, but I'm really not sure it worked out any cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t open it or respond, they aren’t interested. It’s an invitation not a summons.

OP here. I am not talking about people who don’t respond. I am talking about people who RSVP yes and then I pay for their kid and they don’t show up.

I’m totally fine with people not responding or RSVPing no. I’m even ok with people texting me at the very last minute to say they can’t come. I had a person say they were sick and I let a sibling join. I’m annoyed at the person who just didn’t show up and I am out $50. It is the principle more than the actual cost but the cost is annoying also.

Don’t invite them next time. And where are you paying $50/kid? Or are you including the cost of fruit punch, pizza,
and cake? Because you can take all that as leftovers. Individually wrap any cake slices and freeze them.

You also may across as way too intense. Maybe the other parents pick up on that and realize they’re not into it? They shouldn’t RSVP yes and not show, but you seem very, very angry.

🤷🏼‍♀️

You havent hosted a fun bday party have you. I treated my kid to a climbing party and it was $60 a kid with no food. I also had a race car party that was $50/kid for them to have 3 or 4 races.

Actually I go all out at pretty awesome venues. I’m happy my kids enjoy their parties and uncertainly don’t calculate the cost per head. I pay the bill and move on.

I just make it a fun party and enjoy my kids’ happiness and how they interact with their friends. And I host events at my own home pretty often.

So 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Anonymous]

⬆️

Certainly, not “uncertainly.” Weird typo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing parties like this. There really is no reason. You don’t need a special “party package” to enjoy any venue. Invite a few kids, pay for them when they get dropped off, order a pizza there if you can or take the kids back to your house for cake and ice cream. Two adult drivers should be able to transport at least kids. This is what we do and it’s so much nicer than the party package stuff.

So the solution is to not have a party your child wants because some guests are rude and don’t show?

[Anonymous]

I think there are universal rules and etiquette of hosting events and hospitality that most people can't be bothered to follow in this country. The lack of generosity towards guests is so shocking sometimes that I wonder if it is even worth it for anyone to attend any party.

As an immigrant, I have adapted and made sure that all my celebrations and events are well attended and go as planned. I would hate to be a poor host. I have my own process in place so that my kids are never disappointed and no one ever loses face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of my invitations get put in my spam and they are missed!! send a direct email to them checking in to make sure they got it or a text

So check your spam. Don’t your kids like to be included?

I have four kids and can barely keep up with my own emails let alone all these invitations so yeah we’re just getting by Day to day over here and if I missed your kids birthday invitation, I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of my invitations get put in my spam and they are missed!! send a direct email to them checking in to make sure they got it or a text

So check your spam. Don’t your kids like to be included?

I have four kids and can barely keep up with my own emails let alone all these invitations so yeah we’re just getting by Day to day over here and if I missed your kids birthday invitation, I’m sorry.

Sounds like you need some organizational help, because your lack of organization isn’t an excuse for being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three things that help a lot:

1) use software that tracks who has opened the invite. Text everyone who hasn't opened it. Spam filters and things get lost. You can also send automated reminders.

2) Include an ICS invite! I'm surprised by how few people do this. It's so helpful. Make a calendar invite and include the relevant details.

3) plan a party that's flexible. If you have a bigger space than you need, and if the headcount doesn't directly change the cost, it's way less stressful. So like, a rented room and trays of food. Of course you still need to estimate but you're not going to sweat the specific numbers. I know this isn't always possible with venues etc.

By software, do you mean something like Evite that does it for you? Or do you mean you actually found and downloaded software to allow you to see if someone opened your email??

I've always texted or separately emailed the non openers. I've never, ever had a non opener then RSVP Yes. Either they saw the email and aren't interested, or... I don't know what else. But I've never had someone claim it went to spam or they forgot, then RSVP Yes. It's always, "Oh, I forgot, and Jake can't make it!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop inviting those people. I remember who they are and know that they are not for us.

This works until like 4th grade maximum. These are KID parties and kids want THEIR friends there. My kids have an uncanny knack for making friends with kids whose parents are not my style. I make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of my invitations get put in my spam and they are missed!! send a direct email to them checking in to make sure they got it or a text

So check your spam. Don’t your kids like to be included?

I have four kids and can barely keep up with my own emails let alone all these invitations so yeah we’re just getting by Day to day over here and if I missed your kids birthday invitation, I’m sorry.

Yes we all know the oh so busy parents like you. Always frazzled, barely keeping it together, relying on everyone else in your village to make it work. You kid can never get to the party without a ride to and from anyway. It’s not clear what you actually do for your kids be we all know how very busy you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three things that help a lot:

1) use software that tracks who has opened the invite. Text everyone who hasn't opened it. Spam filters and things get lost. You can also send automated reminders.

2) Include an ICS invite! I'm surprised by how few people do this. It's so helpful. Make a calendar invite and include the relevant details.

3) plan a party that's flexible. If you have a bigger space than you need, and if the headcount doesn't directly change the cost, it's way less stressful. So like, a rented room and trays of food. Of course you still need to estimate but you're not going to sweat the specific numbers. I know this isn't always possible with venues etc.

By software, do you mean something like Evite that does it for you? Or do you mean you actually found and downloaded software to allow you to see if someone opened your email??

I've always texted or separately emailed the non openers. I've never, ever had a non opener then RSVP Yes. Either they saw the email and aren't interested, or... I don't know what else. But I've never had someone claim it went to spam or they forgot, then RSVP Yes. It's always, "Oh, I forgot, and Jake can't make it!"

That’s interesting. I haven’t always messaged all non openers, but when I have they almost always claim spam and then come. I usually only message parents I have some rapport with, though.