Disruptive kids in class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

I fear your expectations are simply not aligned with reality.

Physical violence won't be tolerated, but yapping and shouting out six seven aren't going to get any kid removed from any private school.

What should happen then? Seems our school just does gentle redirection and discipline, not much real time consequences. I'd like the boys sent out of class every time something happens (not one "6 7", but perhaps by the second or third time?). Seems crazy that class just stops every time one shouts something and the teacher disciplines him over and over, and then that's lost teaching time.

Your kid will be fine. If the school you are at is as good as described, there hasn't been lost teaching time. Every teacher builds buffer time into their plans, and it accounts for classroom distraction, and also good conversations that take too long, or the class needing extra explanation. They have the time baked into their thinking and planning.

If your thinking was to reach out to the school or teacher with ideas on classroom management, I’ll save you the embarrament and tell you to not do this. If your thinking is that you don't think this is happening at other private schools, it is (including the Catholic ones someone said doesn't tolerate this kind of thing). You could leave schools (though too late for next year), but you'll find the same thing elsewhere.

This is a life skill and teachable thing, by the way. Distractions, including ridiculous ones, happen all the time at even the most prestigious workplaces. People interrupt. People are rude. It happens and you hopefully learn to get back into your flow as soon as they move on.

What would I do? Honestly one of the first things I’d do is to stop probing my kid (or giving it an audience) if she comes home again and says that Billy shouted out again in math class today. The energy is wasted and in th wrong place, for her and you.

[Anonymous]

PP has it write. Mom, you need to empathize with your kid. “That must be annoying.” That’s it, that’s what you do. She can’t control them, only how much she lets it bother her.

[Anonymous]

**right not write

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this K-1? If higher than that, maybe this is a lax private environment or a bad cohort. Catholic schools (at least the ones I've seen) do not tolerate this.

That’s good to know - any examples without being too specific?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the entire OP and am hoping it's a troll based on the phrase "intriguing diversity." OMG.

Her most recent post is a red flag. A novel, and she worked “URM” in there. Bad vibes.

Well, yeah. But people here love a good novel so …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the entire OP and am hoping it's a troll based on the phrase "intriguing diversity." OMG.

Her most recent post is a red flag. A novel, and she worked “URM” in there. Bad vibes.

Certainly a fake troll post to bait people.


Laughably, every disruptive kid - both boys and girls - are white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this K-1? If higher than that, maybe this is a lax private environment or a bad cohort. Catholic schools (at least the ones I've seen) do not tolerate this.

That’s good to know - any examples without being too specific?

There are many disruptive kids at Catholic schools. This isn't the age of nuns with rulers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.

We moved our daughter to an all girls school this year. It is the quietest school I have ever been in. Yes, sometimes girls have disruptive behavior too but it is like night and day. So maybe something to consider if you ever decide to transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I went to private growing up and kids who were poorly behaved or disruptive were counseled out. Have things changed? Her public school had many more and worse behaved kids, so while this is still an improvement, I expected most kids at private to be fairly well behaved, especially at one that has a low admit rate and high tuition.

If the parents donate to the school, they will never be counseled out. Also, it will be very hard to avoid them even if you raise a fuss as most privates are small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.

We moved our daughter to an all girls school this year. It is the quietest school I have ever been in. Yes, sometimes girls have disruptive behavior too but it is like night and day. So maybe something to consider if you ever decide to transfer.

+1. We moved our daughters to an all girls school for HS. It doesn't mean everyone is 100% perfectly behaved at all times but there is absolutely no classroom disruption due to kids yelling in class, swearing at teachers, squaring up, throwing stuff at each other, or trying to get everyone off-task. It's been worth every penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a joke. What would I do? Nothing.

Paying tuition doesn’t buy a disruption-free bubble, it buys a better overall environment. Stay out of it, let the school do its job (but as others have said, doing its job doesn’t mean exiting the kids and you may not ever know what they haven’t or haven’t been working on with the family), and don’t be that parent in year one.

+1. OP, I think your daughter needs a private tutor.

[Anonymous]

OP - you have too much time on your hands to sweat the small stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I went to private growing up and kids who were poorly behaved or disruptive were counseled out. Have things changed? Her public school had many more and worse behaved kids, so while this is still an improvement, I expected most kids at private to be fairly well behaved, especially at one that has a low admit rate and high tuition.

If the parents donate to the school, they will never be counseled out. Also, it will be very hard to avoid them even if you raise a fuss as most privates are small.

We had to move our DD to escape a badly behaved boy cohort that unfortunately were children of donors but more importantly they all had siblings/cousins enrolled. They were never going to be counseled out.

On the bright side, when the discipline rules changed in the middle school grades, the school could finally stop doing their gentle parenting nonsense and give immediate consequences for bad behavior. It was the talk of my DD’s old friend circle because suspensions have started to happen for these boys (after 5 years of restorative justice and wobbly stools and other nonsense).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.

We moved our daughter to an all girls school this year. It is the quietest school I have ever been in. Yes, sometimes girls have disruptive behavior too but it is like night and day. So maybe something to consider if you ever decide to transfer.

+1. We moved our daughters to an all girls school for HS. It doesn't mean everyone is 100% perfectly behaved at all times but there is absolutely no classroom disruption due to kids yelling in class, swearing at teachers, squaring up, throwing stuff at each other, or trying to get everyone off-task. It's been worth every penny.

Another family that moved to all-girls school. I will say that our girls’ class does seem to conspire to get their teachers off-track, but when it happens they are bringing the teacher into a joke rather than working against them. Fortunately the school day is so efficient without all the usual disruptions they experienced in a co-ed environment that learning doesn’t seem to be impacted. Based on the curriculum guide, they are 1-2 weeks ahead in most of their classes, which also allows random tangents and academic explorations to happen.

[Anonymous]

Is this about Bullis? lol