What are your honest thoughts on forever bachelors

[Anonymous]

Very smart

[Anonymous]

My BIL (47) has been living with the same woman for about 8 years. She (40) has a son from a prior relationship. No kids together. They call each other husband and wife but they’re not married. When I first heard him call her his wife I asked my MIL when they got married because we weren’t invited she said that they hadn’t gotten married but that’s what they call each other. Weird.

I’ve been married to his older brother for 25 years and we’ve been together for about 28 years. I was in my mid 20’s and he was in his late 20’s. Meanwhile, BIL has had about 15 “serious” girlfriends in that time- this is his longest relationship.

I don’t get it- their parents have been married nearly 60 years and have a great relationship.

Maybe they’re swingers or have an open relationship? Who knows.

[Anonymous]

And women still choose divorced men in their 40s with multiple kids over these men because they can't get over their hangup that something must be wrong with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And women still choose divorced men in their 40s with multiple kids over these men because they can't get over their hangup that something must be wrong with them.

It's not a hangup. There IS something wrong with these guys. My brother is one of them; he is enmeshed with my mother and poor self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL (47) has been living with the same woman for about 8 years. She (40) has a son from a prior relationship. No kids together. They call each other husband and wife but they’re not married. When I first heard him call her his wife I asked my MIL when they got married because we weren’t invited she said that they hadn’t gotten married but that’s what they call each other. Weird.

I’ve been married to his older brother for 25 years and we’ve been together for about 28 years. I was in my mid 20’s and he was in his late 20’s. Meanwhile, BIL has had about 15 “serious” girlfriends in that time- this is his longest relationship.

I don’t get it- their parents have been married nearly 60 years and have a great relationship.

Maybe they’re swingers or have an open relationship? Who knows.

My uncle and his wife were similar (not married, calling each other husband/wife) for a long time. They were in a committed relationship, but them getting married would negatively affect her son’s college costs and also upon marriage she and the kid would be losing some benefits that accrued from her late husband (I don’t remember the details). They eventually got married when both those points became moot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My BIL (47) has been living with the same woman for about 8 years. She (40) has a son from a prior relationship. No kids together. They call each other husband and wife but they’re not married. When I first heard him call her his wife I asked my MIL when they got married because we weren’t invited she said that they hadn’t gotten married but that’s what they call each other. Weird.

I’ve been married to his older brother for 25 years and we’ve been together for about 28 years. I was in my mid 20’s and he was in his late 20’s. Meanwhile, BIL has had about 15 “serious” girlfriends in that time- this is his longest relationship.

I don’t get it- their parents have been married nearly 60 years and have a great relationship.

Maybe they’re swingers or have an open relationship? Who knows.

My uncle and his wife were similar (not married, calling each other husband/wife) for a long time. They were in a committed relationship, but them getting married would negatively affect her son’s college costs and also upon marriage she and the kid would be losing some benefits that accrued from her late husband (I don’t remember the details). They eventually got married when both those points became moot.

That situation makes sense to me. She was never married- the child's father is still very much in his life. When they first got engaged (before Covid) she was all about planning a big wedding, but it never happened. No idea what happened.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if one of the women who so desperately wanted to date thought I was gay.

Reading some of the imbeciles here with gay radars you would think every man who chooses to be single is gay.

Post divorce I chose to stay single for 3 years. I guess I was gay and I am no longer gay now that I have a girlfriend lol.

So what about women who fit OP's description? Are they gay as well? I am waiting to hear back from resident gay detection experts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL (47) has been living with the same woman for about 8 years. She (40) has a son from a prior relationship. No kids together. They call each other husband and wife but they’re not married. When I first heard him call her his wife I asked my MIL when they got married because we weren’t invited she said that they hadn’t gotten married but that’s what they call each other. Weird.

I’ve been married to his older brother for 25 years and we’ve been together for about 28 years. I was in my mid 20’s and he was in his late 20’s. Meanwhile, BIL has had about 15 “serious” girlfriends in that time- this is his longest relationship.

I don’t get it- their parents have been married nearly 60 years and have a great relationship.

Maybe they’re swingers or have an open relationship? Who knows.

As a guy I would love this arrangement. A woman who accepts that I am truly committed to her and doesn't need proof from the government that I am that's the jackpot.

[Anonymous]

Why do any of you care what someone else does with their life? If they are not hurting you, leave them alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have come across heterosexual men who are 40+ that never married and never had children. A few have never lived with a romantic partner. They spend their time in nightclubs, picking up much younger women, traveling with male friends (rarely with female companions) looking for the new hot party/club/lounges, etc.

What do you honestly make of men like this (being judgemental is included)?

Do you remember being 20-25 and seeing 40+ men in clubs? I do. We were laughing at them and sometimes tricking them into buying bottles.

[Anonymous]

These types of men are invariably damaged goods. A lot of them are hypersexual closet cases with secret addictions and a disproportionate number were molested as children. I don't want them as lovers or friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My BIL (47) has been living with the same woman for about 8 years. She (40) has a son from a prior relationship. No kids together. They call each other husband and wife but they’re not married. When I first heard him call her his wife I asked my MIL when they got married because we weren’t invited she said that they hadn’t gotten married but that’s what they call each other. Weird.

I’ve been married to his older brother for 25 years and we’ve been together for about 28 years. I was in my mid 20’s and he was in his late 20’s. Meanwhile, BIL has had about 15 “serious” girlfriends in that time- this is his longest relationship.

I don’t get it- their parents have been married nearly 60 years and have a great relationship.

Maybe they’re swingers or have an open relationship? Who knows.

As a guy I would love this arrangement. A woman who accepts that I am truly committed to her and doesn't need proof from the government that I am that's the jackpot.

A woman who lets you hold all the cards is your ideal. Of course. Loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if one of the women who so desperately wanted to date thought I was gay.

Reading some of the imbeciles here with gay radars you would think every man who chooses to be single is gay.

Post divorce I chose to stay single for 3 years. I guess I was gay and I am no longer gay now that I have a girlfriend lol.

So what about women who fit OP's description? Are they gay as well? I am waiting to hear back from resident gay detection experts.

Blame the large number of men like you who are indeed closet cases. Many, many of your fellow confirmed bachelors are bisexuals who screw more men than women. You probably are too, which is why you're so mad that women are on to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 49-year-old younger brother is like this. He is a former Division I athlete at Stanford and has multiple interesting hobbies, such as music, skydiving, and cooking. He works in private equity and makes $4 million per year. He travels frequently for work and does not have time for a long-term relationship. When he turned 40, he paid two beautiful women in their twenties to carry two babies for him. He also hired two full-time babysitters to take care of the children. He retired two years ago to become a full-time dad, and he is with them all the time. Life is great for him without a partner.

Your brother denied his children a mother and then foisted them off on hired help. And you think this is some kind of positive example? I guess that makes sense since you were both raised with the same f--ked up lack of values.

[Anonymous]

Every married person isn't the same, and every bachelor isn't the same. I have a bunch of friends who haven't been married. There's a range. A few definitely do look for the younger women and a few are seeking unicorns, but most of them are genuinely open to finding their person. Most of the ones I know respect women and have plenty of friends of both sexes and date age-appropriate women. They have hobbies and make plans. My divorced friends are pretty lucky to have friends like this because we invite them to stuff. A lot of married folks let their social ties dwindle, so it's a rude awakening for them when they're suddenly left out of couple events.