What are your honest thoughts on forever bachelors

[Anonymous]

Hedonistic and gross

[Anonymous]

I have a family member who built a great career, traveled extensively and dated around in his 20s and 30s. He’s brilliant and successful but I also wouldn’t be surprised if he has ASD. A few years ago, he paired off with someone 10 years younger who is quite similar to him. He is now 50 with a toddler and he is a more involved dad than we thought he would be, but his relationship with his partner is sort of superficial and there are no expectations of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DH and if I had to do it over again that's the route I would take, although I would consider adopting a child. I like having kids but I don't think I'm cut out for the lifetime partner thing. The benefits of having a wife don't seem worth it to me.

What does “like have kids” mean versus a single parenting raising a child and being a parent? Thats a lifetime relationship as well, and 18-26 years as a dependent on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hedonistic and gross

but better than the midlife men who leave their wives and families to now pursue this lifestyle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They usually don't have much of a sex drive. They don't get turned on unless the woman is really hot and they will go months without if a really hot woman isn't available. When they do get lucky, eventually the glitter wears off when they see the woman without makeup or sick. It just isn't that important to them to get regular sex.

Correct. Which often comes with being on the spectrum.

Eh, posted about my friend's 45yo bachelor ex and he was definitely into weird sex stuff. He was really into foot jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DH and if I had to do it over again that's the route I would take, although I would consider adopting a child. I like having kids but I don't think I'm cut out for the lifetime partner thing. The benefits of having a wife don't seem worth it to me.

What does “like have kids” mean versus a single parenting raising a child and being a parent? Thats a lifetime relationship as well, and 18-26 years as a dependent on you.

He likes playing disney dad while his wife carries the full load of parenting and household chores He likes his kids like they are puppies, play things, and then gives them back [to his wife] and goes about his day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I (very briefly) dated a guy like this in my 20s. He thought of himself as a James-Bond type. His ideal relationship was one where we only saw each other a couple times a year and he was free to sleep with other women. His ultimate goal was to find a woman to impregnate, she would raise the kids essentially solo and he would drop in and out as he pleased.

Not surprisingly, nobody took him up on that offer.

He's now early 40s and still lives the bachelor lifestyle. Funny enough, we're still friends and talk a couple times a year. He's basically miserable and complains that women only want him for his money and the expensive vacations he provides, nobody actually wants him for *him*. Well, duh, nobody wants that kind of man.

I'm not too judgmental. He had a very rough childhood, was abandoned by his parents, obviously has severe attachment issues. Although it's interesting, one of my other close friends was also abandoned by his parents and is the exact opposite: always wanted to be a good husband and father, settled down, and is 100% committed to his family.

I had one of these too - I broke it off because I had this really uncomfortable feeling that he was essentially looking for breeding stock - he clearly had a weird kink about race/ethnicity alongside severe attachment issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DH and if I had to do it over again that's the route I would take, although I would consider adopting a child. I like having kids but I don't think I'm cut out for the lifetime partner thing. The benefits of having a wife don't seem worth it to me.

What does “like have kids” mean versus a single parenting raising a child and being a parent? Thats a lifetime relationship as well, and 18-26 years as a dependent on you.

I have a special needs child who I have been the primary caregiver/parent, so I feel like I could handle being a single dad of a typically developing child. Of course there's a risk I adopted a healthy child and they could develop special needs later...but I'm just speculating about I would act if I knew then what I have experienced through life.

[Anonymous]

I typically don't think about them as they aren't what I'm looking for. Everybody is free to live as they wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DH and if I had to do it over again that's the route I would take, although I would consider adopting a child. I like having kids but I don't think I'm cut out for the lifetime partner thing. The benefits of having a wife don't seem worth it to me.

What does “like have kids” mean versus a single parenting raising a child and being a parent? Thats a lifetime relationship as well, and 18-26 years as a dependent on you.

I have a special needs child who I have been the primary caregiver/parent, so I feel like I could handle being a single dad of a typically developing child. Of course there's a risk I adopted a healthy child and they could develop special needs later...but I'm just speculating about I would act if I knew then what I have experienced through life.

So you "like having kids" but wish you had different ones? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Grass is always greener commitment phobe.

Better than billionaire with 6 marriages who cheats on new wife as soon as they get married.

[Anonymous]

I knew someone like this. He wanted someone to "date." He had plenty of money so the emphasis was on cool trips, hobbies, etc. The person dating him was divorced and had kids and he eventually didn't want the interruptions to their time. They were roughly the same age in their 40s. They dated for a couple of years. She eventually remarried a divorced dad.

I think they just have a series of long-term relationships--serial monogamy.

[Anonymous]

I know a man who just married for the first time at age 79 - to an 80 year-old widow. So, it's never too late!
Both are wealthy so it wasn't for the money but for companionship. They are super cute.

[Anonymous]

Red flags x100, emotional issues, damaged psychologically, risky bet, liar.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Why should I think of them? They have the life they want, it works for them. If they want to change it, they can and will. If not and people will keep getting on that ride, why should I care?