At what point can I call CPS or can I at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming she is not reasonable when you talk to her about these things, so I would absolutely call CPS and protect her innocent child from her abuse. This is 100% abuse.

It would be neglect but foster care would be far worse for this child. No vaccines is ok.

No and no.

Yes, and Yes, former foster care worker of 10 years. How much interaction have you had in the system? Legally you can exempt your child from vaccines and most foster care is horrible at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I question how it is even realistically possible for an even marginally responsible parent to NOT ever have their child see a doctor from birth - age 2.

Even if that parent does not vax and has other kooky ideas- the child has never had a fever that was concerning? Or ear pain? A weird rash? Never fallen & bumped his head? Or any other illness or issue that caused enough concern that mom felt he needed to be seen?

As a parent of 3 I find that very hard to believe. Surely almost every single baby/toddler has an issue that warrants enough concern to seek medical attention, at some point. KWIM? Which points to mom not seeking care even when it could be serious or urgent, IMHO. Possibly because she worries that she will be reported (due to his lack of medical record + low weight, if what OP says is true).

I’d report for sure. Not even a question.

Went to undergrad in Eugene OR. She sounds like many of the extreme alternative/ leftist/ hippy types out there.

Unfortunately, the local
And state governments have been infiltrated by enough likeminded “fellow travelers” out there, that not much can be done about horrendous parental neglect.

But if she is here in this area, by all means: call CPS immediately.

[Anonymous]

OP, it may be more than malnourishment. My child is a type 1 diabetic, and before diagnosis DC lost weight and was always sick. Type 1 isn’t caused by food, it’s a random thing that happens (generally but not exclusively to children, including young children), and 85% of cases have no family history. If it’s not diagnosed in time it can become fatal, and very quickly. It is fatal without insulin.

I’m sure there are other diseases that present as malnourishment but this is the one I’m familiar with. We have no family history. I thought it was preposterous when someone suggested I get DC’s blood sugar checked. But here we are.

So yes: please call.

[Anonymous]

No doctor, no vaccines, no intention to put him in school later— this child is very isolated and needs help. Id call. Some other adult has to lay eyes on the child and make sure he’s ok. Sorry OP, I’d call.

[Anonymous]

PP’s sorry about diabetes is maybe a potential approach for OP. It won’t come off as judgmental of the sisters parenting choices but might convince her to take the child to a pediatrician for assessment.

[Anonymous]

What’s wrong with no sugar? I never gave my two year old sweets and even my teens rarely have candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would call cos and I don’t say that lightly. Do you know the pediatrician he last saw? It might also be worth calling them first. They might be able to at least try to get him in for an appointment.

What sort of things does she feed him at meals? Does he eat 3 normal meals a day or is it like egg whites and kale at those meals? No snacks won’t kill gin but he needs fats at that age for brain development and carbs and sodium too.

He saw a naturopath doctor after he was born a few times, but that’s it.

This is medical neglect. I would call cps. I’m a social worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with no sugar? I never gave my two year old sweets and even my teens rarely have candy.

I never gave my kids sugar, candy, sugary snacks or garbage like, cookies and no one needs to drink milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has lost her mind. My 2yr old nephew is losing weight at an alarming weight because of her “healthy” eating obsession. He has a very restricted diet, minimal carbs, never had sugar, and no snacking is allowed. She read a book about how the French do not believe in snacking and their kids are better eaters so he can never have food outside of meal times. Fruit is considered a treat. He got a banana in his Christmas stocking and was allowed to eat the whole thing for the first time.

About 2 months ago he stopped breastfeeding and ever since he stopped he is looking malnourished. She will not be giving him any whole milk or milk substitutes. Heck she doesn’t even let him drink much water as she is trying to potty train. He can only have a small sip every 30mins.


He is constantly sick, but he doesn’t go to the doctor so he’s never had any weight checks. What happens with kids like this? What can I do? My mother has tried to approach it and she cut her off.

What book? The French have an entire extra meal dedicated to a sweet afternoon snack.

Probably French Kids Eat Everything which seems like a manual for creating disordered eating. Strict rules about eating isn't flexibility.

Or Bringing Up Bebe which I thought had reasonable observations on minimizing snacks between meals so your kids are actually hungry and will eat the healthy dinner you prepared, rather than a bunch of crap. Most American kids do snack on processed food like crazy. It's not like they are working on farms where they need to be eating constantly.

Of the OP's post, I agreed with the sister on snacks, everything else sounded crazy/dangerous for a 2 yo.

Yeah I loved bringing up Bebe. Definitely doesn’t advocate for starving your kid or never snacking, and in fact suggests a daily snack every afternoon plus desserts. Even includes a few easy cake recipes!

[Anonymous]

All the things you list individually are not concerning, its the collective.

So lets lay this out
1. Restrictive, controlling eating under the guise of "healthy". Infants and toddlers are not adults. They do not need caloric restriction. They need fats and lots of them. They also need carbs. Lots of them.
2. Losing weight and sick regularly even though he isnt in daycare or community care or preschool
3. Under or unemployed parents
4. Absolutely no contact with any type of mandated reporter or regular visits with a physician
5. Mom plans to homeschool
6. Mom is also currently pregnant with #2 even though #3 exists

Call CPS.

[Anonymous]

Cystic Fibrosis can look like failure to thrive. Happened to neighbors's child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming she is not reasonable when you talk to her about these things, so I would absolutely call CPS and protect her innocent child from her abuse. This is 100% abuse.

It would be neglect but foster care would be far worse for this child. No vaccines is ok.

No and no.

Yes, and Yes, former foster care worker of 10 years. How much interaction have you had in the system? Legally you can exempt your child from vaccines and most foster care is horrible at best.

No, it's NOT OK to not vaccinate a child. Eff off.

No, it's not always worse in foster care. My MIL was a social worker for 40 years. Tell the kids who have been burned by cigarettes and had their genitals mutilated by their "loving parents." Starving a child and not providing care is most certainly not better than removing a child and placing him in a home with food and medical care.

[Anonymous]

I call BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can call CPS but kids are not even removed from homes where rats are running around so good luck.

Sadly, CPS won't be able to do much unless he is in imminent danger.

But, it's worth a try.

I'd just offer to take my nephew very often and try to give them some normal days.

This is why going to school is so important, and why free breakfast and lunch is important, often it's the safest and healthiest hours in the day.

He won’t be enrolled in school, so he will never be in any kind of “system.” She is currently pregnant with #2.

No mandated reporters, even more reason to get them on someone's radar.

+1 Call CPS, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming she is not reasonable when you talk to her about these things, so I would absolutely call CPS and protect her innocent child from her abuse. This is 100% abuse.

It would be neglect but foster care would be far worse for this child. No vaccines is ok.

No and no.

Yes, and Yes, former foster care worker of 10 years. How much interaction have you had in the system? Legally you can exempt your child from vaccines and most foster care is horrible at best.

No, it's NOT OK to not vaccinate a child. Eff off.

No, it's not always worse in foster care. My MIL was a social worker for 40 years. Tell the kids who have been burned by cigarettes and had their genitals mutilated by their "loving parents." Starving a child and not providing care is most certainly not better than removing a child and placing him in a home with food and medical care.

She didn't say it's OK to not vaccinate a child. She said it's legal. That's a fact. It is currently legal to not vaccinate your child.

However, it's not legal to refuse to offer your two year old enough calories to maintain their weight. That is neglect.

I would be very surprised if a child was removed by this. In an ideal world, CPS would intervene and require a medical evaluation to find out what's going on. If the PP above is right that it's something like CF, this could lead to medical treatment. If the OP is right and this is because the kid isn't being fed appropriately, this would lead to nutritional counseling, and more medical appointments to monitor weight. Only if it turned out that the parent was intentionally harming the child (e.g. withholding food as a punishment, or something ike Munshausen) or they refused to work with medical providers to make a plan, would it lead to removal.