At what point can I call CPS or can I at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Someone else asked what he's eating at meals, I'm curious about this too. What does he eat? Obviously no sugar and no fruit and no snacks, probably no processed foods at all? Some kids in that situation will happily eat what their parents give them, even if it's like unseasoned tofu, dense whole grain bread, and raw kale. Other kids will just eat nothing (that is what my kid would do, she has sensory issues that impact her eating and will go hungry rather than eat something unpalatable). My feelings about this are different depending on whether his basic nutritional needs are being met or not.

He's a two year old losing weight, so I think you can guess the answer to this one.

PP here. OP doesn't know for sure he's losing weight, and its can be deceptive with kids because they are always growing. A kid can gain weight and look skinnier because they got taller. I've been through this with my own kid, whose weight I watch very closely because of the food aversion issues. There have been several occasions when I was worried she was losing weight but then we'd check it and she was always gaining, but all in height. Which is a good sign! It means her body is getting enough nutrients to stay on the growth curve, even if she's very thin.

Obviously if OP's nephew is actually losing weight, this is a huge problem and needs to be addressed. Which is why I vote for calling CPS, especially since the child isn't doing regular well visits so there is no one checking to make sure he's growing, and he's not enrolled in school or camp or anything that would require regular physicals. But I wouldn't assume based on what OP has said that he's malnourished. I know from personal experience that some kids are just very thin, and that our expectations about what a "healthy" kid looks like can be narrow and not accommodate a fairly broad range of body types. But yes, someone needs to actually find out since his mom refuses to.

+1

2 of 3 kids (now all healthy teens) have always been thin, which is not a problem in and of itself. But they have also always seen the pediatrician regularly. A bystander isn’t qualified to judge either way, but since mom refuses to take him to the doctor- the only way to really know is to have CPS do a welfare check. I’d say it is warranted here, based on the information given.

Even if these are just busybody relatives whose concerns are unwarranted (which I am not saying is the case) - these concerns could’ve easily been remedied by taking the child for a checkup at the doctor.

NP.

I really believe kids need to have regular visits to a qualified pediatric practice. But from the description provided by OP, it sounds like OP’s sister refuses to provide medical checkups for her child. Frankly, the sister sounds like a new-age progressive nut-job who isn’t a responsible parent to that poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has lost her mind. My 2yr old nephew is losing weight at an alarming weight because of her “healthy” eating obsession. He has a very restricted diet, minimal carbs, never had sugar, and no snacking is allowed. She read a book about how the French do not believe in snacking and their kids are better eaters so he can never have food outside of meal times. Fruit is considered a treat. He got a banana in his Christmas stocking and was allowed to eat the whole thing for the first time.

About 2 months ago he stopped breastfeeding and ever since he stopped he is looking malnourished. She will not be giving him any whole milk or milk substitutes. Heck she doesn’t even let him drink much water as she is trying to potty train. He can only have a small sip every 30mins.


He is constantly sick, but he doesn’t go to the doctor so he’s never had any weight checks. What happens with kids like this? What can I do? My mother has tried to approach it and she cut her off.

What book? The French have an entire extra meal dedicated to a sweet afternoon snack.

Probably French Kids Eat Everything which seems like a manual for creating disordered eating. Strict rules about eating isn't flexibility.

Or Bringing Up Bebe which I thought had reasonable observations on minimizing snacks between meals so your kids are actually hungry and will eat the healthy dinner you prepared, rather than a bunch of crap. Most American kids do snack on processed food like crazy. It's not like they are working on farms where they need to be eating constantly.

Of the OP's post, I agreed with the sister on snacks, everything else sounded crazy/dangerous for a 2 yo.

[Anonymous]

It is entirely possible that this woman just has some alternative/crunchy parenting practices that her family (and most of us) do not agree with, but are not legally considered to be neglect/abuse. And then finally cut her mother off, after being incessantly nagged about her parenting for 2 years. There are also varying opinions (especially from older relatives) about things like proper diet, or expecting all babies to be “chubby” and that sort of thing. .

But if she won’t even take her child to the doctor- there is no way to know. Clearly best to report to CPS and let them handle. This is a child too young to speak for himself, and is not being regularly seen by anyone outside the family it seems. Better safe than sorry. They did try to address it directly with the sister first - and she could’ve used that opportunity to bring her child to a doctor for reassurance. She chose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely possible that this woman just has some alternative/crunchy parenting practices that her family (and most of us) do not agree with, but are not legally considered to be neglect/abuse. And then finally cut her mother off, after being incessantly nagged about her parenting for 2 years. There are also varying opinions (especially from older relatives) about things like proper diet, or expecting all babies to be “chubby” and that sort of thing. .

But if she won’t even take her child to the doctor- there is no way to know. Clearly best to report to CPS and let them handle. This is a child too young to speak for himself, and is not being regularly seen by anyone outside the family it seems. Better safe than sorry. They did try to address it directly with the sister first - and she could’ve used that opportunity to bring her child to a doctor for reassurance. She chose not to.

The problem is many of the lefty, new-age progressive ideas the OP describes are putting the child at risk of serious developmental damage or even death.

To the OP: does your sister vaccinate ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely possible that this woman just has some alternative/crunchy parenting practices that her family (and most of us) do not agree with, but are not legally considered to be neglect/abuse. And then finally cut her mother off, after being incessantly nagged about her parenting for 2 years. There are also varying opinions (especially from older relatives) about things like proper diet, or expecting all babies to be “chubby” and that sort of thing. .

But if she won’t even take her child to the doctor- there is no way to know. Clearly best to report to CPS and let them handle. This is a child too young to speak for himself, and is not being regularly seen by anyone outside the family it seems. Better safe than sorry. They did try to address it directly with the sister first - and she could’ve used that opportunity to bring her child to a doctor for reassurance. She chose not to.

The problem is many of the lefty, new-age progressive ideas the OP describes are putting the child at risk of serious developmental damage or even death.

To the OP: does your sister vaccinate ?

She said no vaccinations. Child has not seen a doctor.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming she is not reasonable when you talk to her about these things, so I would absolutely call CPS and protect her innocent child from her abuse. This is 100% abuse.

[Anonymous]

If the child is entering preschool soon - or would be OK until kindergarten - then some of these problems will solve themselves because kids need medical paperwork to enter school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the child is entering preschool soon - or would be OK until kindergarten - then some of these problems will solve themselves because kids need medical paperwork to enter school.

she already said the kid will be home schooled

[Anonymous]

I question how it is even realistically possible for an even marginally responsible parent to NOT ever have their child see a doctor from birth - age 2.

Even if that parent does not vax and has other kooky ideas- the child has never had a fever that was concerning? Or ear pain? A weird rash? Never fallen & bumped his head? Or any other illness or issue that caused enough concern that mom felt he needed to be seen?

As a parent of 3 I find that very hard to believe. Surely almost every single baby/toddler has an issue that warrants enough concern to seek medical attention, at some point. KWIM? Which points to mom not seeking care even when it could be serious or urgent, IMHO. Possibly because she worries that she will be reported (due to his lack of medical record + low weight, if what OP says is true).

I’d report for sure. Not even a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming she is not reasonable when you talk to her about these things, so I would absolutely call CPS and protect her innocent child from her abuse. This is 100% abuse.

It would be neglect but foster care would be far worse for this child. No vaccines is ok.

[Anonymous]

Is she planning a home birth for #2?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister has lost her mind. My 2yr old nephew is losing weight at an alarming weight because of her “healthy” eating obsession. He has a very restricted diet, minimal carbs, never had sugar, and no snacking is allowed. She read a book about how the French do not believe in snacking and their kids are better eaters so he can never have food outside of meal times. Fruit is considered a treat. He got a banana in his Christmas stocking and was allowed to eat the whole thing for the first time.

About 2 months ago he stopped breastfeeding and ever since he stopped he is looking malnourished. She will not be giving him any whole milk or milk substitutes. Heck she doesn’t even let him drink much water as she is trying to potty train. He can only have a small sip every 30mins.


He is constantly sick, but he doesn’t go to the doctor so he’s never had any weight checks. What happens with kids like this? What can I do? My mother has tried to approach it and she cut her off.

How often are you visiting them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming she is not reasonable when you talk to her about these things, so I would absolutely call CPS and protect her innocent child from her abuse. This is 100% abuse.

It would be neglect but foster care would be far worse for this child. No vaccines is ok.

No and no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I question how it is even realistically possible for an even marginally responsible parent to NOT ever have their child see a doctor from birth - age 2.

Even if that parent does not vax and has other kooky ideas- the child has never had a fever that was concerning? Or ear pain? A weird rash? Never fallen & bumped his head? Or any other illness or issue that caused enough concern that mom felt he needed to be seen?

As a parent of 3 I find that very hard to believe. Surely almost every single baby/toddler has an issue that warrants enough concern to seek medical attention, at some point. KWIM? Which points to mom not seeking care even when it could be serious or urgent, IMHO. Possibly because she worries that she will be reported (due to his lack of medical record + low weight, if what OP says is true).

I’d report for sure. Not even a question.

Some people only do "natural" treatments and/or prayer, which I find terrifying. Read the book Educated. And yes, I would ask your mom to make the call and see if you can babysit and get some food into him. If your mom doesn't want to call, you should.

[Anonymous]

Since she cut your mother off, your mother needs to call CPS and be the bad cop. You pretend to cut your mother off and pretend to be on her side.