Jealous of a friends’ kids’ extracurricular

[Anonymous]

Saturday school isn’t a ding on your friends kuss (at all!) but it’s about as impressive as a pricey college summer program-it says they have task oriented parents w means and little else.

And if you think they became trilingual in the third language through only hs exposure I don’t know what to tell you! Conversant (if they are good students) sure! Trilingual based on getting to ap French-absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im not a sports parent at all but I'll bet you kid got just what they needed from the sports they did. That was the right path for them.

Saturday school can suck for some kids

I don't think what OP described is worth the trade off in quality of life for a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents like you are the worst.

IDK---I think it's slightly worse to actually send your kids to an extra day of school every week other than be sad later that you didn't.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents like you are the worst.

IDK---I think it's slightly worse to actually send your kids to an extra day of school every week other than be sad later that you didn't.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids grew up happy and well adjusted by playing soccer. Life isn’t just about college applications.

Lifting you up, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in a Saturday language school and I think this will be the last year (8th grade). There's an average of 3 hours of homework per week on top of half a Saturday sitting in a classroom. It really does take away from doing other things. Plus my child is starting to rebel and I don’t want him to hate the language.
As for internships in the home country, those require having connections.

Man, that's horrible. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Our kids are bilingual and take our home in high school at one level higher than most peers and are doing well. Our friends, also with bilingual kids, enrolled their children in a Saturday language school, where the kids get what is essentially a second high school diploma from the home country. This has allowed their children to take a different language in school, meaning their kids are trilingual and they have a truly impressive extracurricular that shows commitment (the language school is intense) and has shaped their children’s entire narrative (the kid volunteered for a summer in the home country, has an internship next summer with an developing markets investment firm focusing on a part of the world using our language, etc.

I’m just kicking myself because if I had thought through this 10 years ago, I feel my child would be in a much better position college application wise. These friends had asked if we would be interested in doing the Saturday school with them, but it conflicted with sports and travel and our kid plays hs soccer but certainly isn’t going to get recruited.

Just a vent, but feeling like my past self let my high schooler down.

Was this the German school (DSW) in Potomac?

No I bet it’s Escuela Argentina. It’s the only school I know where you can actually earn a high school diploma from that country. It’s certified by the Ministry of Education in Argentina.

Yup. The French Saturday School in Bethesda encourages students to take the DELF B2 exam, a French national exam, and you get a diploma for that, but it's not a high school degree - it's just a French proficiency degree.

You could also just do one of the French immersion programs like the ones offered at some FCPS schools.

No, that's just what I wanted to avoid (we're in MCPS and they have a similar program). Public school classes offer only the language, completely separated from its culture, history and literature. In the weekend native language schools, you get teachers from the country who teach with the country's methods (for the French school, they even give the kids the special French school paper), and even though it may just be billed as a "language" course, the teachers work with imported schoolbooks from the native country; and insert by themselves all kinds of historical and cultural facts into the class. This is not something FCPS and MCPS can do, since they have their own, American criteria for their immersion classes.

I thought MCPS and FCPS were good school systems, no? Arguably the best?

How can their immersions programs not be the best? They are competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are bilingual and take our home in high school at one level higher than most peers and are doing well. Our friends, also with bilingual kids, enrolled their children in a Saturday language school, where the kids get what is essentially a second high school diploma from the home country. This has allowed their children to take a different language in school, meaning their kids are trilingual and they have a truly impressive extracurricular that shows commitment (the language school is intense) and has shaped their children’s entire narrative (the kid volunteered for a summer in the home country, has an internship next summer with an developing markets investment firm focusing on a part of the world using our language, etc.

I’m just kicking myself because if I had thought through this 10 years ago, I feel my child would be in a much better position college application wise. These friends had asked if we would be interested in doing the Saturday school with them, but it conflicted with sports and travel and our kid plays hs soccer but certainly isn’t going to get recruited.

Just a vent, but feeling like my past self let my high schooler down.

Was this the German school (DSW) in Potomac?

No I bet it’s Escuela Argentina. It’s the only school I know where you can actually earn a high school diploma from that country. It’s certified by the Ministry of Education in Argentina.

Yup. The French Saturday School in Bethesda encourages students to take the DELF B2 exam, a French national exam, and you get a diploma for that, but it's not a high school degree - it's just a French proficiency degree.

You could also just do one of the French immersion programs like the ones offered at some FCPS schools.

No, that's just what I wanted to avoid (we're in MCPS and they have a similar program). Public school classes offer only the language, completely separated from its culture, history and literature. In the weekend native language schools, you get teachers from the country who teach with the country's methods (for the French school, they even give the kids the special French school paper), and even though it may just be billed as a "language" course, the teachers work with imported schoolbooks from the native country; and insert by themselves all kinds of historical and cultural facts into the class. This is not something FCPS and MCPS can do, since they have their own, American criteria for their immersion classes.

I thought MCPS and FCPS were good school systems, no? Arguably the best?

How can their immersions programs not be the best? They are competitive.

Lol, no. The immersion programs are primarily competitive in the way a lottery is competitive. Quality is generally a little above baseline because of the choice aspect, but not much further than that.

Anyway, MCPS and FCPS are terrible school systems that skate by on their student population, who are, in the main, the children of well-educated strivers with the resources to send their kids to ubiquitous tutoring centers, Chinese Saturday schools, etc. Air drop these kids into Baltimore and they'd still do well academically.

[Anonymous]

My totally normal kid with normal ECs is going to our state flagship next year with two scholarships that make the full cost (tuition and room and board) significantly less than what we pay for private school now.

If I had spent my kids' childhoods trying to engineer the college process with extra classes and homework I think I would be filled with regret. I encourage you to think if it this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are bilingual and take our home in high school at one level higher than most peers and are doing well. Our friends, also with bilingual kids, enrolled their children in a Saturday language school, where the kids get what is essentially a second high school diploma from the home country. This has allowed their children to take a different language in school, meaning their kids are trilingual and they have a truly impressive extracurricular that shows commitment (the language school is intense) and has shaped their children’s entire narrative (the kid volunteered for a summer in the home country, has an internship next summer with an developing markets investment firm focusing on a part of the world using our language, etc.

I’m just kicking myself because if I had thought through this 10 years ago, I feel my child would be in a much better position college application wise. These friends had asked if we would be interested in doing the Saturday school with them, but it conflicted with sports and travel and our kid plays hs soccer but certainly isn’t going to get recruited.

Just a vent, but feeling like my past self let my high schooler down.

Was this the German school (DSW) in Potomac?

No I bet it’s Escuela Argentina. It’s the only school I know where you can actually earn a high school diploma from that country. It’s certified by the Ministry of Education in Argentina.

Yup. The French Saturday School in Bethesda encourages students to take the DELF B2 exam, a French national exam, and you get a diploma for that, but it's not a high school degree - it's just a French proficiency degree.

You could also just do one of the French immersion programs like the ones offered at some FCPS schools.

No, that's just what I wanted to avoid (we're in MCPS and they have a similar program). Public school classes offer only the language, completely separated from its culture, history and literature. In the weekend native language schools, you get teachers from the country who teach with the country's methods (for the French school, they even give the kids the special French school paper), and even though it may just be billed as a "language" course, the teachers work with imported schoolbooks from the native country; and insert by themselves all kinds of historical and cultural facts into the class. This is not something FCPS and MCPS can do, since they have their own, American criteria for their immersion classes.

I thought MCPS and FCPS were good school systems, no? Arguably the best?

How can their immersions programs not be the best? They are competitive.

Definitely not true for FCPS. Friend's kid did a language this way whole way up and then for HS tested at a private HS for language placement. Friend was certain kid would test out of the language completely...kid tested into level 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are bilingual and take our home in high school at one level higher than most peers and are doing well. Our friends, also with bilingual kids, enrolled their children in a Saturday language school, where the kids get what is essentially a second high school diploma from the home country. This has allowed their children to take a different language in school, meaning their kids are trilingual and they have a truly impressive extracurricular that shows commitment (the language school is intense) and has shaped their children’s entire narrative (the kid volunteered for a summer in the home country, has an internship next summer with an developing markets investment firm focusing on a part of the world using our language, etc.

I’m just kicking myself because if I had thought through this 10 years ago, I feel my child would be in a much better position college application wise. These friends had asked if we would be interested in doing the Saturday school with them, but it conflicted with sports and travel and our kid plays hs soccer but certainly isn’t going to get recruited.

Just a vent, but feeling like my past self let my high schooler down.

I think it is a good cautionary tale. Immigrants should make a serious attempt to make sure that their kids do not lose their native language. Mastery in the native language will open opportunities for them for rest of their lives.

When non-English speakers become American citizens, they should strive for double benefit of getting the best of the American experience and getting the best of their country of origin experience. That way they are in a position to give to themselves and also this country. Don't lose your natural heritage.

It doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. You kid is likely to rarely us it.

I completely disagree. Being fluent in other languages means that a whole new world of job opportunities, culture, art, literature, theatre, cinema opens up for you.

Its like saying that sports or music lessons are a waste because you will rarely use it. LOL.

NP.

I think it’s good to be bilingual and plus, it can help later.

Our kid is still a toddler but she’s going to be bilingual in my wife’s language (it’s an Asian language). She talks with DD and she understands it ok.

Not wasting our Saturdays (plus all that $$) on an unnecessary language school. Some of you folks seem kinda over the top, TBH.

Careful, your kid is a toddler.

Once she hits school, she'll end up like me. I can understand rudimentary heritage language but am by no means bilingual.

Unless you actively pursue the language, she will lose it. That's usually how it works out. Not saying you should. My parents didn't and I have no regrets.

+1 I would not declare mission accomplished until your child is in middle school at the earliest. I have older kids and know SO MANY parents who said they were doing the "One Parent One Language" approach, but very very few managed to follow through once their child started primary school. The only ones I know who managed to keep it up had older relatives living in the home. It took the presence of someone who literally could not/would not speak English to get them to keep it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are bilingual and take our home in high school at one level higher than most peers and are doing well. Our friends, also with bilingual kids, enrolled their children in a Saturday language school, where the kids get what is essentially a second high school diploma from the home country. This has allowed their children to take a different language in school, meaning their kids are trilingual and they have a truly impressive extracurricular that shows commitment (the language school is intense) and has shaped their children’s entire narrative (the kid volunteered for a summer in the home country, has an internship next summer with an developing markets investment firm focusing on a part of the world using our language, etc.

I’m just kicking myself because if I had thought through this 10 years ago, I feel my child would be in a much better position college application wise. These friends had asked if we would be interested in doing the Saturday school with them, but it conflicted with sports and travel and our kid plays hs soccer but certainly isn’t going to get recruited.

Just a vent, but feeling like my past self let my high schooler down.

I think it is a good cautionary tale. Immigrants should make a serious attempt to make sure that their kids do not lose their native language. Mastery in the native language will open opportunities for them for rest of their lives.

When non-English speakers become American citizens, they should strive for double benefit of getting the best of the American experience and getting the best of their country of origin experience. That way they are in a position to give to themselves and also this country. Don't lose your natural heritage.

It doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. You kid is likely to rarely us it.

I completely disagree. Being fluent in other languages means that a whole new world of job opportunities, culture, art, literature, theatre, cinema opens up for you.

Its like saying that sports or music lessons are a waste because you will rarely use it. LOL.

NP.

I think it’s good to be bilingual and plus, it can help later.

Our kid is still a toddler but she’s going to be bilingual in my wife’s language (it’s an Asian language). She talks with DD and she understands it ok.

Not wasting our Saturdays (plus all that $$) on an unnecessary language school. Some of you folks seem kinda over the top, TBH.

Careful, your kid is a toddler.

Once she hits school, she'll end up like me. I can understand rudimentary heritage language but am by no means bilingual.

Unless you actively pursue the language, she will lose it. That's usually how it works out. Not saying you should. My parents didn't and I have no regrets.

+1 I would not declare mission accomplished until your child is in middle school at the earliest. I have older kids and know SO MANY parents who said they were doing the "One Parent One Language" approach, but very very few managed to follow through once their child started primary school. The only ones I know who managed to keep it up had older relatives living in the home. It took the presence of someone who literally could not/would not speak English to get them to keep it up.

And even if they could keep it up with speaking, reading and writing is another matter. I once ordered a meal in a Hong Kong style restaurant to a waiter (owner’s son) who spoke almost perfect Cantonese, but he asked me to point on the menu which items I was ordering. He then explained to me he’s an ABC

[Anonymous]

so many parents make their kids do these awful saturday schools instead of actual enjoyable, fun activities they are interested in. what a slog to go to school all week and then spend saturday at school. poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are bilingual and take our home in high school at one level higher than most peers and are doing well. Our friends, also with bilingual kids, enrolled their children in a Saturday language school, where the kids get what is essentially a second high school diploma from the home country. This has allowed their children to take a different language in school, meaning their kids are trilingual and they have a truly impressive extracurricular that shows commitment (the language school is intense) and has shaped their children’s entire narrative (the kid volunteered for a summer in the home country, has an internship next summer with an developing markets investment firm focusing on a part of the world using our language, etc.

I’m just kicking myself because if I had thought through this 10 years ago, I feel my child would be in a much better position college application wise. These friends had asked if we would be interested in doing the Saturday school with them, but it conflicted with sports and travel and our kid plays hs soccer but certainly isn’t going to get recruited.

Just a vent, but feeling like my past self let my high schooler down.

Look it is what it is. One of my kids stopped an activity that he was really really good at. Winning competitions good at. It was really hard to watch for us parents, but he stopped enjoying it so we were not going to push it. We did help him find other activities he enjoyed, and that eventually worked out. Don't live your life or your kid's life for college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here and these responses have been quite helpful. I’m certainly not despondent about this, and don’t think about it all the time to the point that I can’t appreciate what my child does have going for him, but I just feel silly that my friend made one choice that seems to have made everything relatively easier for her kid and in hindsight, I wish we had made the same choice. Our kid could have hated it and insisted on stopping, which would’ve been fine, but it really does seem like the kind of activity that can help distinguish a student in a universe where it’s otherwise quite difficult to do so.

And yes, the languages are French and Spanish.

The saddest part here is your obsession with "distinguishing your kdos" for a college application instead of doing something meaningful with their lives.