For parents who don't post pictures of their kids on social media

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I understood the no photos thing a few years ago. It was easier to keep kids away from creeps. But now that people in public are constantly with smart phones and ipads out pointing everywhere, how do you know your child isn't being photographed by creeps in public?

I mean, you don't, but for a parent who is concerned about this, knowing that strangers might be photographing your kid in public is not a reason to just say "screw it, let's give everyone permission to post pics of our kids all over the internet." That doesn't make sense.

Once when I was at a kid's birthday party, there was a dad there I didn't know who made a big production of taking pictures of the birthday girl. It wasn't his daughter, he was a guest, but he made a point of pausing the festivities at one point to take photos of her. My kid was standing behind the birthday girl, with a group of other children, so they were all in the photos. Something about his behavior just sent up a big red flag, so I just quietly walked over to my kid to stand between her and the camera and pretend I had to help where with something or ask a question. The kids at recently been running through the sprinkler and were still in suits, though my DD had put a skirt back on. It still felt super sketch.

I hate feeling like I need to think about that kind of thing but... I think I do. These experiences don't make me LESS vigilant about keeping photos of my kid off the internet, they make me more vigilant.

Again, paranoid. Parents have been taking photos of kids at birthday parties for generations.

Other people's kids? Your own kid, sure. Your own kid with the birthday kid, yes. And the hosts might take photos of the kids to commemorate the party for themselves.

Taking photos of a group of other people's kids, at a party you are not hosting, is sketch. What are the photos for? Especially if you don't even know all the kids in the photo you're taking? Why is that a memory you need to take home with you?

[Anonymous]

the whole fb sharing back to school pics thing freaked me out— I’m grateful to not be on social media and hope somehow it’s safer when my kids are big enough to us it

https://www.news18.com/world/deliberately-provocative-meta-under-fire-from-parents-after-photos-of-daughters-appear-in-targeted-ads-ws-ekl-9586914.html

[Anonymous]

I work in social media and see the dark sides. If it were up to me, there would be zero pictures of my kids, but I’ve found even when I specify no pictures, my kids end up in pictures anyway. I remember one organization that absolutely did not have my permission took a picture of my daughter and used it in multiple promotional pictures - social media, flyers, etc. It was very upsetting for me when I walked into a coffee shop and saw a stack of flyers with my daughter’s photo on them.

There’s an absolutely insane number of pedophiles out there, and they all save thousands of pictures of kids. It’s very disturbing. Even more so with AI.

[Anonymous]

context: we didn't post kids on social at all for a couple of years. As they got older, they started appearing more and more because they tag along with me when i'm out doing my thing around town and I started feeling like sharing that they're there. Even so, I still choose angles and scenes that don't show their faces.

for photo releases, I have yet to find a situation I felt comfortable approving. I don't want my kids' images in the algo and sometimes I also very specifically don't want my kids used to promote certain businesses - and for free.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a bambini parent? The timing of this question today made me think you might be. if yes and in case it helps, we said no thank you as did most of our class as far as I know. I don't think excluding my kid from promotional material will be a "make or break" factor in helping to enrich Otter management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re a no-kids-on-social family. When I get those releases, we don’t sign them, and if there’s an opt out box, we always check it. That being said, I know some orgs aren’t careful about it (ex: my kids have been in group action shot in newsletters, etc) and that doesn’t bother me and I’ve never said anything

If there was a photo on a public website that featured one of my kids, I would ask them to take it down.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Dont post pictures and dont sign the pic consent forms. You need to read about this because it no longer requires a name. Facial recognition AI and use of deep fakes means no one should be allowing access without consent.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is in perfirming arts, you are limiting their opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you extend that to signing photo releases of your kids for stuff like school, camps and sports? We have never posted our kids' faces for various reasons but I have always signed the releases for things like this. I'm second guessing this now and wondering how other people handle this.

Absolutely no photo releases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

buttt youre not that important

Then no one will be bothered by my unimportant child’s absence from the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

People keep photos of their kids off the internet specifically because we know no one else cares about them. Which means other people are sometimes inclined to do very sketchy things with photos of children, because they don't care at all about those kids.

Like this: https://www.fastcompany.com/3036073/the-creepiest-new-corner-of-instagram-role-playing-with-stolen-baby-photos

Or this: https://www.hrw.org/news/2024/06/27/childrens-personal-photos-are-powering-ai-exploitation

And thoughts here: https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1251819597/why-you-should-think-twice-before-posting-that-cute-photo-of-your-kid-online

This is not about people being self-centered or thinking others are obsessed with them. It's about protecting kids, their identities, and their data from a lot of entities that have no problem exploiting the images of children for their own gain.

If you have social media set to private settings and only have true “friends” with access to your posts and don’t go crazy you’re fine. And if some school or sports team puts the whole team or activity on line you’re fine too. There’s being careful and reasonable and there’s being paranoid. Hence the happy medium as
I said before.

Yeah so maybe you never saw a single after school special as a child…“true friends” exploit kids all the time.

Why not save the pictures and let the jid decide when they’re 18? Most of the 11-15 set finds their parents posting about them on social media unbelievably cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only allow yearbook but the school and school system post anyway despite me singing a waiver saying no pictures.

We didn’t even allow yearbook in ES but one year they ignored us. We pitched a fit and they ultimately offered to correct “our” YB but they’d already been distributed to everyone else so what was the point. We’re not the “suing” type but we still have not let the school admin forget they screwed up.

We still sign the opt-out (last DC is a senior in HS) and most teachers/clubs sincerely attempt to comply. Current compromise for those who ask for something special is name or image but not both.

And, yes, we have walked away from certain activities, in part, because of their strict demand for permission to publish.

What do you mean you “haven’t let admin forget they screwed up.” What do you want them to do after the fact now?

[Anonymous]

I’m fine with the occasional school post or if my kid is in a birthday photo ect but I personally would never post a photo of someone else’s kid without permission. I think it’s weird - I’ve also written that in my babysitting contracts, and ask that sitters do not use SM when they are with my kids. Too much can go wrong and it’s a good habit to get into.

My kids are 4 and 2 and I’ve posted two photos with them in it their whole lives. My acct is private and I have 1500 followers, all people I know. My Instagram is mostly a graveyard to my 20s and college years, and I think it’s weird to see people you haven’t seen in years’s young kids all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

You’re right, but you’re talking to the types of people who think traffickers are coming for their privileged white kids (and for their moms!) in their suburban Target. Delulu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

Whatever you need to tell yourself.

Aww, that really sounded clever when it was in your head, didn’t it?