For parents who don't post pictures of their kids on social media

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you extend that to signing photo releases of your kids for stuff like school, camps and sports? We have never posted our kids' faces for various reasons but I have always signed the releases for things like this. I'm second guessing this now and wondering how other people handle this.

No. What good is it to sign that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

People keep photos of their kids off the internet specifically because we know no one else cares about them. Which means other people are sometimes inclined to do very sketchy things with photos of children, because they don't care at all about those kids.

Like this: https://www.fastcompany.com/3036073/the-creepiest-new-corner-of-instagram-role-playing-with-stolen-baby-photos

Or this: https://www.hrw.org/news/2024/06/27/childrens-personal-photos-are-powering-ai-exploitation

And thoughts here: https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1251819597/why-you-should-think-twice-before-posting-that-cute-photo-of-your-kid-online

This is not about people being self-centered or thinking others are obsessed with them. It's about protecting kids, their identities, and their data from a lot of entities that have no problem exploiting the images of children for their own gain.

If you have social media set to private settings and only have true “friends” with access to your posts and don’t go crazy you’re fine. And if some school or sports team puts the whole team or activity on line you’re fine too. There’s being careful and reasonable and there’s being paranoid. Hence the happy medium as
I said before.

[Anonymous]

We never sign the release. If you don't want your child's face on the internet, then you don't want their face on the internet. It's not "Well, they can't be on social media but they can be on this camp's or school's or soccer club's website, and their friend's birthday party pics can be posted on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

buttt youre not that important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never sign the release. If you don't want your child's face on the internet, then you don't want their face on the internet. It's not "Well, they can't be on social media but they can be on this camp's or school's or soccer club's website, and their friend's birthday party pics can be posted on social media.

People have different reasons for not wanting their child's face on the internet, their reasons might not be your reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

buttt youre not that important[/quote

It's not about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always sign the releases. I feel like their face being in a random group shot without their name isn’t a huge deal. But I just hate social media in general, so don’t have accounts there, vs avoiding posting my kids for some other specific reason

I have SM but rarely post. I don't mind the random group shots and DS has expressed liking seeing a photo of him from a game or event posted on their page.

+1 I don't post pix on my own page because that's very easily identifiable. I like seeing tht group pix etc, it's pretty attenuated and not as identifiable. I always sign the release.

That said, I'm not necessarily avoiding posting purely on principle. I am just not a big SM user any more. I have accounts but rarely post other pix, articles, any content.

[Anonymous]

I don't even know if signing it mean I allow or not.
Not a big deal of school messes up or another parent posts class or friends pictures.

[Anonymous]

I only allow yearbook but the school and school system post anyway despite me singing a waiver saying no pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have sometimes not signed it. I usually do. I feel it's different in that the photo is not tied to my name and therefore not explicitly identifying my kid.

By the way, my kid is featured in individual photos on a website and social media for two different activities but again not identified. Just saying it's not only the potential for group photos.

This is OP. Can I ask what age? Does your kid know about the photos? A big thing for me is consent of my kids and I think if they had no problem with it I'd have no problem with it but I'm not sure what age they can really understand this issue.

Yes, one they were around five which they think is cute. The recent one they were 12. I do go over most paperwork with them but not when they were five. They are aware at 12 and I would respect if they wanted me not to sign it, but they'd probably be more embarrassed to be left out or have a smiley face on their head.

I think the age they can understand is maybe 7? Schools talk a lot about digital citizenship and related issues, but even at 12 can they really understand the full implications? I doubt it, but I don't personally think these things are super risky when not identified. You posting them for your friends to consume is much more embarrassing for them than the soccer team posting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even know if signing it mean I allow or not.
Not a big deal of school messes up or another parent posts class or friends pictures.

It is a big deal as it can happen often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

Honest question then, why do you post pictures of your kids online? Genuinely curious.