Mean Girls

[Anonymous]

Sounds like complete parent and coach enablement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former coach here- I would never let this happen on a team of mine. I find this conversation interesting because just last week a girl from my former team (also U12) reported this behavior on her new team to me. My own kid is in travel but not competitive and the team is supportive - as someone else said, bullying is actually not allowed at all in any level of play and as coaches and managers, we have to take those trainings. It seems like a lot of what is allowed is coach dependent.

Thank you for weighing in. After years on the circuit we have found that it is coach dependent as well. The good ones know how to manage the girls. The bad ones are clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former coach here- I would never let this happen on a team of mine. I find this conversation interesting because just last week a girl from my former team (also U12) reported this behavior on her new team to me. My own kid is in travel but not competitive and the team is supportive - as someone else said, bullying is actually not allowed at all in any level of play and as coaches and managers, we have to take those trainings. It seems like a lot of what is allowed is coach dependent.

Thank you for weighing in. After years on the circuit we have found that it is coach dependent as well. The good ones know how to manage the girls. The bad ones are clueless.

Our coach is definitely part of the problem. Clueless maybe? Actually causing it possibly?

[Anonymous]

Why can't you all just leave? Tell the coach a majority of the players are leaving and why.

[Anonymous]

Of course some kids are just bullies, misbehave, are disruptive, etc. But in watching my daughter's teams, I think on-field communication is under-coached. Some competitive kids turn into "loud" "bullies" because they are trying to lead their team but don't know how. If they were taught the soccer communication vocabulary and tasked with communicating useful *information* constantly, I truly believe more of them would do it. And that would prevent a lot of the more toxic communication from filling the silence.

Even "good" coaches aren't teaching it. You have to just get lucky by joining a team with a couple natural captains who have learned it on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you all just leave? Tell the coach a majority of the players are leaving and why.

Well in our case this only started this current season with an influx of new kids (on a very high level team). We're giving it more time to see how it fully plays out before making a giant fuss. Also, the teams are going to be different next year with the age change anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course some kids are just bullies, misbehave, are disruptive, etc. But in watching my daughter's teams, I think on-field communication is under-coached. Some competitive kids turn into "loud" "bullies" because they are trying to lead their team but don't know how. If they were taught the soccer communication vocabulary and tasked with communicating useful *information* constantly, I truly believe more of them would do it. And that would prevent a lot of the more toxic communication from filling the silence.

Even "good" coaches aren't teaching it. You have to just get lucky by joining a team with a couple natural captains who have learned it on their own.

Yup, agree. The problem is when the communication is always positive towards certain players and always negative towards others. The coach should play a bigger role in noticing/correcting this.