Mean Girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that very well. Every team usually has a bit of a “chihuahua syndrome” — it’s that one small, feisty kid, either playing up a year or just really tiny, who’s always barking and bossing everyone around because she’s insecure about her size. She bounces all over the field, blames everyone else, and never takes responsibility herself. And the worst part? Her parents are even worse — they think their kid is the best, which is exactly why she’s playing up in the first place.

Just hang in there. DD used to have that kind of kid on her team too. But once they hit U13, everything changes the field gets bigger, the competition gets more real, and it quickly filters out the kids who don’t have the skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would bring it up to the coach. Bullying is a Safesport violation and it is reportable.

There might not be anything too it, but the coach should try to foster an atmosphere of mutual respect on the team.

Talk to your coach, tell him your DD is considering quitting the team. I am sure the club leadership would be concerned if they knew the reason was bullying.

Send your coach this link to a handbook to help prevent bullying:
https://eptoolkit.uscenterforsafesport.org/prevent-bullying/?_gl=1*ixxa3u*_gcl_au*OTQ4MjA3MDgzLjE3NjAwMzEwNjg.*_ga*NDUxNjQ1MTQ4LjE3NjAwMzEwNjg.*_ga_MBN6TFWKW0*czE3NjAwMzEwNjckbzEkZzAkdDE3NjAwMzEwNzckajUwJGwwJGgw&_ga=2.104619267.2055339808.1760031068-451645148.1760031068

If nothing works, you can report it here:
https://safesport.i-sight.com/portal
1-877-587-7233

Not OP but if the mean girls are the coach’s kid, the coach’s nieces, or the coach’s kid's bff what are we going to do?

Learn how to help your DD actually become a better soccer player—so the ones out there giving it their all don’t keep getting frustrated week after week by teammates who just… aren’t.

These are kids, yes—but they still need guidance. Some are naturally competitive and take their sport seriously. They expect the same effort and focus from the players beside them. And honestly? Some kids just aren’t built for that level of competition—and that’s okay! Maybe a softer sport, or a solo one, would suit better.

Otherwise, help your DD close the gap. Watch film together. Catch matches on TV. Get extra touches in outside of team practice. Confidence builds competitiveness.

When everyone’s dialed in—mentally and physically—the whole team thrives. It’s that simple.

ChatGPT strikes again… with facts.

The player can become better when there is a better environment--either they leave or that group of bullies/ignoramuses leaves. A lot of times the talkers/yellers actually are saying the wrong stuff and have a much lower soccer IQ than the silent leaders who don't have the same personality but have better touch and better soccer IQ. This happened to DD -- not specifically bullied but ignorant talk from the loudest players on the team, one of whose parents was constantly saying "be a leader" to her loud DD. Being a leader doesn't mean talking the loudest especially when your kid doesn't know what she's talking about and has the first touch of a brick. An specific example is this loud player incorrectly vacated her space and the person she was marking to get involved in a play where team already had an overload/numerical advantage of players, so DD had to cover two players at once, and when the other team of course slid it through to the player that was suddenly unmarked and DD tried to intervene the ball went to the open player who scored, the loud player and her mom-coach were yelling at DD about why did she leave that person open yadda yadda yadda. When that player and several other probelm players/parents left DD was happy again and that positively impacted her play.

Agree with most of this. If you don’t know what you’re talking about on the field, it’s better to say nothing. It doesn’t help anyone. Especially, yelling or saying things to another player that isn’t correct or blaming someone else for your mistake(s). That’s annoying and proves its own point. They did the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, and it resulted in the wrong thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that very well. Every team usually has a bit of a “chihuahua syndrome” — it’s that one small, feisty kid, either playing up a year or just really tiny, who’s always barking and bossing everyone around because she’s insecure about her size. She bounces all over the field, blames everyone else, and never takes responsibility herself. And the worst part? Her parents are even worse — they think their kid is the best, which is exactly why she’s playing up in the first place.

I’ve seen a girl like that before — clearly talented and making plays. Sometimes when a younger or smaller player stands out, others might feel a bit threatened. She’s overcoming her size and still making things happen on the field while some of her teammates are stuck on the bench, and that can stir up mixed feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that very well. Every team usually has a bit of a “chihuahua syndrome” — it’s that one small, feisty kid, either playing up a year or just really tiny, who’s always barking and bossing everyone around because she’s insecure about her size. She bounces all over the field, blames everyone else, and never takes responsibility herself. And the worst part? Her parents are even worse — they think their kid is the best, which is exactly why she’s playing up in the first place.

I’ve seen a girl like that before — clearly talented and making plays. Sometimes when a younger or smaller player stands out, others might feel a bit threatened. She’s overcoming her size and still making things happen on the field while some of her teammates are stuck on the bench, and that can stir up mixed feelings.

No, we’re not talking about the small and quiet ones those little feisty ones usually know exactly what they’re doing. We’re talking about the mean one who’s always screaming and barking on the field but loses every ball because they can’t keep up, either in speed or physicality. That’s the one that causes problems.

[Anonymous]

When these kids get no notice from college coaches they will stop. Colleges (D1) hate these types. Out mean girl never played in college in spite of the coach promoting her hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When these kids get no notice from college coaches they will stop. Colleges (D1) hate these types. Out mean girl never played in college in spite of the coach promoting her hard.

Parents particularly moms get defensive if the coach tells them their kid is out of line. Spineless dads out there are typically following mom’s lead as not to rock the boat at home. The end result is a girl making everyone miserable but god forbid her feelings are hurt. It’s all so tiresome and stupid.

[Anonymous]

2 or 3 girls out of what 18??? Get the other girls to hang up or all start yelling back or defending the target of the mean girl. They can't compete with 15+ girls calling out bad behavior. Also.. this is a good test for your daughter. If the other 15 + don't feel the same way then it's your daughter that's the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 or 3 girls out of what 18??? Get the other girls to hang up or all start yelling back or defending the target of the mean girl. They can't compete with 15+ girls calling out bad behavior. Also.. this is a good test for your daughter. If the other 15 + don't feel the same way then it's your daughter that's the problem.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 or 3 girls out of what 18??? Get the other girls to hang up or all start yelling back or defending the target of the mean girl. They can't compete with 15+ girls calling out bad behavior. Also.. this is a good test for your daughter. If the other 15 + don't feel the same way then it's your daughter that's the problem.

Yeah, because middle school girls are totally known for taking a stand and showing profiles in courage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 or 3 girls out of what 18??? Get the other girls to hang up or all start yelling back or defending the target of the mean girl. They can't compete with 15+ girls calling out bad behavior. Also.. this is a good test for your daughter. If the other 15 + don't feel the same way then it's your daughter that's the problem.

Yeah, because middle school girls are totally known for taking a stand and showing profiles in courage

Yup exactly. The "mean girl" on our daughter's club just made people pick sides. Guess what the kids did, they fell in line. It's all so stupid, but I guess part of growing up especially at this late MS age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 or 3 girls out of what 18??? Get the other girls to hang up or all start yelling back or defending the target of the mean girl. They can't compete with 15+ girls calling out bad behavior. Also.. this is a good test for your daughter. If the other 15 + don't feel the same way then it's your daughter that's the problem.

Yeah, because middle school girls are totally known for taking a stand and showing profiles in courage

I'm totally convinced that even if 3 girls banded together this problem would be solved.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you all sit songs and let this happen is ridiculous. It's end of season. All the fiend should fund a new team. There are so very many teams around. And if 6 or 7 kids go to the coach and tell them they are leaving amg why. I know this will be resolved. Stop playing the victim of your victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that very well. Every team usually has a bit of a “chihuahua syndrome” — it’s that one small, feisty kid, either playing up a year or just really tiny, who’s always barking and bossing everyone around because she’s insecure about her size. She bounces all over the field, blames everyone else, and never takes responsibility herself. And the worst part? Her parents are even worse — they think their kid is the best, which is exactly why she’s playing up in the first place.

I’ve seen a girl like that before — clearly talented and making plays. Sometimes when a younger or smaller player stands out, others might feel a bit threatened. She’s overcoming her size and still making things happen on the field while some of her teammates are stuck on the bench, and that can stir up mixed feelings.

You are so obviously talking about your own annoying kid, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that very well. Every team usually has a bit of a “chihuahua syndrome” — it’s that one small, feisty kid, either playing up a year or just really tiny, who’s always barking and bossing everyone around because she’s insecure about her size. She bounces all over the field, blames everyone else, and never takes responsibility herself. And the worst part? Her parents are even worse — they think their kid is the best, which is exactly why she’s playing up in the first place.

I’ve seen a girl like that before — clearly talented and making plays. Sometimes when a younger or smaller player stands out, others might feel a bit threatened. She’s overcoming her size and still making things happen on the field while some of her teammates are stuck on the bench, and that can stir up mixed feelings.

You are so obviously talking about your own annoying kid, lol.

There’s a reason my daughter plays a year up, and I just want to say thank you for giving her the opportunity. The team needs her, and we both appreciate the chance to be part of it

[Anonymous]

Former coach here- I would never let this happen on a team of mine. I find this conversation interesting because just last week a girl from my former team (also U12) reported this behavior on her new team to me. My own kid is in travel but not competitive and the team is supportive - as someone else said, bullying is actually not allowed at all in any level of play and as coaches and managers, we have to take those trainings. It seems like a lot of what is allowed is coach dependent.