If you prop up an iPhone in front of your toddler at cava, I’m judging the heck out of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a child therapist and we are almost screen free. Last week we were on vacation and our almost three year old was just totally deregulated and a nightmare the whole time. I gave her Bluey on my phone at dinner so that I could have one meal that I could actually engage my older kids without focusing on my screaming toddler.

All that to say, you have no idea why someone is giving their kid a screen and what kind of day they're having. Give people some grace.

+1
I truly DGAF if it bothered some rando that I gave my jetlagged toddler a phone during a fabulously not child friendly rehearsal dinner for a not child friendly wedding

Maybe instead of "god how sad is it that kids have phones now" it should be "wow how great is it we have a way to quiet a screaming two year old so we don't have to leave the setting".

Back in my day, we would pick up the child, take a walk, and come back in 3 minutes. Do you not know about that?

Back in my day, you wouldn’t bring a 2 year old to a restaurant in the first place.

Cava is hardly a restaurant. And at lunchtime, it’s super loud and busy. Surely the parents weren’t have a serious 1:1 convo; it would be too loud and busy. And the toddler would be watching the people and everything around him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a child therapist and we are almost screen free. Last week we were on vacation and our almost three year old was just totally deregulated and a nightmare the whole time. I gave her Bluey on my phone at dinner so that I could have one meal that I could actually engage my older kids without focusing on my screaming toddler.

All that to say, you have no idea why someone is giving their kid a screen and what kind of day they're having. Give people some grace.

+1
I truly DGAF if it bothered some rando that I gave my jetlagged toddler a phone during a fabulously not child friendly rehearsal dinner for a not child friendly wedding

Maybe instead of "god how sad is it that kids have phones now" it should be "wow how great is it we have a way to quiet a screaming two year old so we don't have to leave the setting".

Back in my day, we would pick up the child, take a walk, and come back in 3 minutes. Do you not know about that?

Back in my day, you wouldn’t bring a 2 year old to a restaurant in the first place.

Are you a vampire? Because kids have been going to casual restaurants for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a child therapist and we are almost screen free. Last week we were on vacation and our almost three year old was just totally deregulated and a nightmare the whole time. I gave her Bluey on my phone at dinner so that I could have one meal that I could actually engage my older kids without focusing on my screaming toddler.

All that to say, you have no idea why someone is giving their kid a screen and what kind of day they're having. Give people some grace.

+1
I truly DGAF if it bothered some rando that I gave my jetlagged toddler a phone during a fabulously not child friendly rehearsal dinner for a not child friendly wedding

Maybe instead of "god how sad is it that kids have phones now" it should be "wow how great is it we have a way to quiet a screaming two year old so we don't have to leave the setting".

Back in my day, we would pick up the child, take a walk, and come back in 3 minutes. Do you not know about that?

Back in my day, you wouldn’t bring a 2 year old to a restaurant in the first place.

Are you a vampire? Because kids have been going to casual restaurants for a very long time.

DP

Every kid is different. Our kid has generally done well at restaurants from a young age. Not because we did anything special. Just her temperament. Other kids are much more difficult and my guess is many of the parents that use screens simply wouldn't go out of the screens weren't available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So their kid will be dumber than yours. Congrats. Why do you care so much?

Because these “dumb” kids without social skills will have a huge effect on our country. It’s not just one kid. It’s so many of this generation. It’s sad to see for their sake and problematic for our whole society.

That’s why it helps to judge less and actually offer to help.

+1. We live in a society. Stop judging and start helping.

How do you think we should help as a society parents with toddlers going to restaurants??? When my kids were toddlers I met friends in a park, on a playground or at home. It never occured to my or to my friends going with our little ones to a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So their kid will be dumber than yours. Congrats. Why do you care so much?

Because these “dumb” kids without social skills will have a huge effect on our country. It’s not just one kid. It’s so many of this generation. It’s sad to see for their sake and problematic for our whole society.

That’s why it helps to judge less and actually offer to help.

+1. We live in a society. Stop judging and start helping.

How do you think we should help as a society parents with toddlers going to restaurants??? When my kids were toddlers I met friends in a park, on a playground or at home. It never occured to my or to my friends going with our little ones to a restaurant.

It’s CAVA! It’s basically fast food. No, kids usually weren’t at Ruth’s Chris back in the day (lol), but they were always at McDonalds and Burger King and stuff and Cava is basically the 2020s equivalent for people who turn up their noses at fast food.

Now the question is, if the little kid wasn’t looking at a phone but was instead being a little noisy and toddlerish, maybe playing with one of those books that makes noise or whatever … would you have been mad about that too? Basically your choices are toddler watching a show on a tablet but being relatively quiet and in their seat, or toddler playing with a toy or book but being fidgety/little kid noisy/etc. Choose wisely.

[Anonymous]

They probably needed to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am well aware of the exceptions:

We only had a few minutes to talk and needed out toddler to be quiet.
Our toddler has XYZ diagnosis.
And on and on.

But the research is there and the pendulum is swinging the other way. There are few legitimate reasons to prop up a screen in front of your 13 month old at cava while you lunch with your partner. It’s 20 minutes tops.

Knock it off, people.

For all you know the woman is with that child all day long and this is her chance to have a break and enjoy an adult conversation. The screen is then a short-lived treat for the child? 20 minutes. Not only are you ridiculously judgmental but you have a screw loose to post this kind of screed.

Is this a Gen Z parenting thing? It is literally your job as the child's parent to keep an eye on them all day long, even while having an adult conversation. Somehow our parents managed this and their parents this, but a 30 year old can't. GROW UP.

Lol no Boomer parents+ very much did not keep an eye on their kids all day long. That’s some revisionist thinking. Kids weren’t at the fast food place because mom probably left them at home with their gaggle of older siblings. Or they took them to an all night arcade so they could gamble in a casino. And the little girl who died was not the only kid left unattended back then … and “back then” was the mid-90s, meaning it was solid Millennials being left alone. https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime/homicides/7-year-old-girls-murder-at-nevada-casino-still-haunts-20-years-later/amp/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably needed to talk.

+1 parents are human beings too

It's only recently society has decided parents must engage with their children during all their waking hours.

Kids have been watching way too much TV for decades.

[Anonymous]

I love the people judging a mom for letting her toddler be on a phone for 20 minutes while they, themselves, have been scrolling and posting on DCUM, arguing with random internet strangers for likely way longer than that. You want to talk about unhealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the people judging a mom for letting her toddler be on a phone for 20 minutes while they, themselves, have been scrolling and posting on DCUM, arguing with random internet strangers for likely way longer than that. You want to talk about unhealthy?

Very young kids are building synapses in their brains in a way an adult is not. We have a lot of research showing that screens are bad for young brains. And actually, my own screen addiction tells me exactly what a bad idea it is to put a 2 year old on screens. I know the time I spend online is unhealthy.

Would you judge someone for giving a child a martini? Or would you say "whatever adults drink alcohol all the time, so we can't judge"? Of course we can judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I’m with op. Maybe you don’t get a quiet lunch/shopping trip/stroller walk, but all that screen time at an early age is really bad for developing brains.

But what's great for kids is judgy losers that give their parents the stink eye

Sorry it hits a nerve. Nobody is perfect, I know I’m not either, but this is a very clear place where you can make a choice that can affect your child’s brain development, attention span, ability to self regulate emotions.

Girl I hate screens for kids. My kid's behavior vastly improved when we took away her tablet. You are preaching to the choir. But I don't think giving a random parent the stink eye for giving their kid a phone for 20 minutes is okay either, I think it's really rude and unhelpful behavior (and the parent doesn't notice but look, you're still stewing about it, which can't be healthy)

Wrong. We need to start judging these parents and make it socially unacceptable in our culture to give these kids screens. Hold each other to higher standards

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am well aware of the exceptions:

We only had a few minutes to talk and needed out toddler to be quiet.
Our toddler has XYZ diagnosis.
And on and on.

But the research is there and the pendulum is swinging the other way. There are few legitimate reasons to prop up a screen in front of your 13 month old at cava while you lunch with your partner. It’s 20 minutes tops.

Knock it off, people.

For all you know the woman is with that child all day long and this is her chance to have a break and enjoy an adult conversation. The screen is then a short-lived treat for the child? 20 minutes. Not only are you ridiculously judgmental but you have a screw loose to post this kind of screed.

Is this a Gen Z parenting thing? It is literally your job as the child's parent to keep an eye on them all day long, even while having an adult conversation. Somehow our parents managed this and their parents this, but a 30 year old can't. GROW UP.

It’s a millennial parenting thing. Same culture as overly permissive and gentle parenting. Unfortunately the new gen z parents knows the harms of screens having grown up with them and the tide is slowly turning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I’m with op. Maybe you don’t get a quiet lunch/shopping trip/stroller walk, but all that screen time at an early age is really bad for developing brains.

But what's great for kids is judgy losers that give their parents the stink eye

Sorry it hits a nerve. Nobody is perfect, I know I’m not either, but this is a very clear place where you can make a choice that can affect your child’s brain development, attention span, ability to self regulate emotions.

Girl I hate screens for kids. My kid's behavior vastly improved when we took away her tablet. You are preaching to the choir. But I don't think giving a random parent the stink eye for giving their kid a phone for 20 minutes is okay either, I think it's really rude and unhelpful behavior (and the parent doesn't notice but look, you're still stewing about it, which can't be healthy)

Wrong. We need to start judging these parents and make it socially unacceptable in our culture to give these kids screens. Hold each other to higher standards

+1
Teachers can confirm that children entering school today have, on average, much poorer language skills than they did 10 years ago. In addition, many are no longer able to play. Important skills for a successful school career are completely lacking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the people judging a mom for letting her toddler be on a phone for 20 minutes while they, themselves, have been scrolling and posting on DCUM, arguing with random internet strangers for likely way longer than that. You want to talk about unhealthy?

So you don’t understand the difference between an adult brain and a toddler brain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am well aware of the exceptions:

We only had a few minutes to talk and needed out toddler to be quiet.
Our toddler has XYZ diagnosis.
And on and on.

But the research is there and the pendulum is swinging the other way. There are few legitimate reasons to prop up a screen in front of your 13 month old at cava while you lunch with your partner. It’s 20 minutes tops.

Knock it off, people.

Hope you stepped up and took care of the toddler since you had so much extra time on your hands to judge.

I've had three toddlers, none of them were ever on my phone. There is something wrong with people like you who don't want to care for their children.

What is the difference between a kid on a coloring book while parents talk and a kid watching bluey while parents talk?

DP but one of them is a quiet activity, the other is annoying for other people in the restaurant. For the love of god, keep the volume off if you hand your children an iPad or phone.