If you prop up an iPhone in front of your toddler at cava, I’m judging the heck out of you.

[Anonymous]

Screens are like dessert. Ok in moderation, but too much is bad. Everyone has a different “too much and not the right time”. We allow limited screens at home on a regular basis. Sometimes we cut back some times it’s more of a focus on what we do on the screens. I do The NY Times games app with my kids and if you judge me for doing Wordle with my 10 year old…I don’t care. Not all screens are equal. We enjoy doing it together. My husband enjoys doing video games with our son.

We don’t allow screens at restaurants, even high quality screens because we don’t want to argue about putting them away and I don’t want it to be a habit. It’s just the choice I make. But my kids might have more screen time than that kid just at a different time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. I have a sibling who brings out a screen for her kids whenever we go to a restaurant and they make any fuss whatsoever. I have had to ask sibling to take out the screens when we go out with them, as I don't want my kids thinking it's normal/appropriate. Sibling's kids are several years younger than mine and are used to daily screen-time for hours on end. It's ridiculous. And sibling just says "this is the only way I can talk" at a restaurant. As if my kids started off knowing how to behave at a restaurant at age 1?! No, I had to teach them what to do, and now they are capable of ordering for themselves and entertaining themselves with small toys/coloring (which I bring with me). We had many meals where we left immediately after scarfing down our food. We had many times when one parent had to walk the kid outside the restaurant because they couldn't sit still. In some situations, I even resorted to showing my kid pictures of their family on my phone to entertain them. So yea, I judge parents who turn on a tv show at restaurants for all to hear because they can't or don't want to parent appropriately.

(And I'm not anti-screens. My kids love movie nights and get free rein on road trips/airplanes.)

But your whole post gets to the exact crux of the issue. You let them watch Bluey for the time it takes to order and eat at a (presumably, since these are little kids … if we’re talking fine dining that’s a whole different can of worms) casual, family friendly restaurant. You can somewhat take your time eating and not have to shovel food in your face and maybe you and your spouse/friend can chat for 10 minutes. Or you do it how you described, scarf down your food, leave immediately, spouse takes a kid outside to run around while you wait for the food or pay your bill. The first scenario is obviously more pleasant. The second is stressful and annoying. I’m also unclear how the second scenario is teaching your kid anything.

I'm the poster you are responding to. Yes, the first scenario is more pleasant for the parent. No one is confused about that. But it also is a shortcut that leads to 12 year olds who cannot converse at the table. The second scenario, over time, built my kids up to where they are today: kids who can spend an hour at a restaurant behaving themselves without screens. The first scenario leaves you permanently in "my kid watches things at a restaurant" mode. My kids are 5 and 7--we aren't talking about a decade-long progression here. The scarfing down phase was when they were 18 months-3 years.

And to the other poster who claimed I don't want to parent my kids, sheesh! If you want to spend your own family meals ignoring your kids, fine. But don't bring your kid out to a meal with me and then set your kid up to ignore everyone else the whole time. Clearly some of y'all think it's ok to teach your kid to be rude.

It should be obvious why airplanes are different. Most adults watch movies on airplanes. You are sitting in the same spot for hours. That is not remotely the same as a group dinner. Would you watch a movie when out at a restaurant with your friends?

In no universe is a toddler at CAVA with their parents equivalent to you going out to dinner with your friends.

And no, having young kids watch screens does not "leave you permanently in 'my kid watches things as a restaurant mode' - that is a fairy tale you tell yourself to justify your "my screens are fine, your screens are poison" posture.

NP. Ok, so do you think you are helping your child develop the skills they need to sit and engage with people during mealtime…by having the kid stare at the iPad or phone?

The years they were toddlers my kids ate well over a thousand meals at a table with me, Dad or both of us.

That was where they learned how to behave at meals.