If you prop up an iPhone in front of your toddler at cava, I’m judging the heck out of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. I have a sibling who brings out a screen for her kids whenever we go to a restaurant and they make any fuss whatsoever. I have had to ask sibling to take out the screens when we go out with them, as I don't want my kids thinking it's normal/appropriate. Sibling's kids are several years younger than mine and are used to daily screen-time for hours on end. It's ridiculous. And sibling just says "this is the only way I can talk" at a restaurant. As if my kids started off knowing how to behave at a restaurant at age 1?! No, I had to teach them what to do, and now they are capable of ordering for themselves and entertaining themselves with small toys/coloring (which I bring with me). We had many meals where we left immediately after scarfing down our food. We had many times when one parent had to walk the kid outside the restaurant because they couldn't sit still. In some situations, I even resorted to showing my kid pictures of their family on my phone to entertain them. So yea, I judge parents who turn on a tv show at restaurants for all to hear because they can't or don't want to parent appropriately.

(And I'm not anti-screens. My kids love movie nights and get free reign on road trips/airplanes.)

I don't let my kids use a lot of screens, but to judge someone for letting their kids use a screen in a restaurant, and ask your sister to change her parenting so that you don't have to parent your own kids and teach them that they follow their family's rules even when other families do things differently, and then to turn around and say you give your kids free reign on road trips and airplanes, which are exactly the same thing (giving kids screens because you don't feel like entertaining them, or teaching them how to behave, in a situation where you'd rather do something else) is so hypocritical.

+1,000
So much of the judgement is BS posturing by insecure losers who definitely let their kids use screens (yes, TV is a screen), but convinced themselves their screen use was justified or okay on some way but 20 minutes at Cava is basically poison 🤣

[Anonymous]

MYOB OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. I have a sibling who brings out a screen for her kids whenever we go to a restaurant and they make any fuss whatsoever. I have had to ask sibling to take out the screens when we go out with them, as I don't want my kids thinking it's normal/appropriate. Sibling's kids are several years younger than mine and are used to daily screen-time for hours on end. It's ridiculous. And sibling just says "this is the only way I can talk" at a restaurant. As if my kids started off knowing how to behave at a restaurant at age 1?! No, I had to teach them what to do, and now they are capable of ordering for themselves and entertaining themselves with small toys/coloring (which I bring with me). We had many meals where we left immediately after scarfing down our food. We had many times when one parent had to walk the kid outside the restaurant because they couldn't sit still. In some situations, I even resorted to showing my kid pictures of their family on my phone to entertain them. So yea, I judge parents who turn on a tv show at restaurants for all to hear because they can't or don't want to parent appropriately.

(And I'm not anti-screens. My kids love movie nights and get free rein on road trips/airplanes.)

But your whole post gets to the exact crux of the issue. You let them watch Bluey for the time it takes to order and eat at a (presumably, since these are little kids … if we’re talking fine dining that’s a whole different can of worms) casual, family friendly restaurant. You can somewhat take your time eating and not have to shovel food in your face and maybe you and your spouse/friend can chat for 10 minutes. Or you do it how you described, scarf down your food, leave immediately, spouse takes a kid outside to run around while you wait for the food or pay your bill. The first scenario is obviously more pleasant. The second is stressful and annoying. I’m also unclear how the second scenario is teaching your kid anything.

I'm the poster you are responding to. Yes, the first scenario is more pleasant for the parent. No one is confused about that. But it also is a shortcut that leads to 12 year olds who cannot converse at the table. The second scenario, over time, built my kids up to where they are today: kids who can spend an hour at a restaurant behaving themselves without screens. The first scenario leaves you permanently in "my kid watches things at a restaurant" mode. My kids are 5 and 7--we aren't talking about a decade-long progression here. The scarfing down phase was when they were 18 months-3 years.

And to the other poster who claimed I don't want to parent my kids, sheesh! If you want to spend your own family meals ignoring your kids, fine. But don't bring your kid out to a meal with me and then set your kid up to ignore everyone else the whole time. Clearly some of y'all think it's ok to teach your kid to be rude.

It should be obvious why airplanes are different. Most adults watch movies on airplanes. You are sitting in the same spot for hours. That is not remotely the same as a group dinner. Would you watch a movie when out at a restaurant with your friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. I have a sibling who brings out a screen for her kids whenever we go to a restaurant and they make any fuss whatsoever. I have had to ask sibling to take out the screens when we go out with them, as I don't want my kids thinking it's normal/appropriate. Sibling's kids are several years younger than mine and are used to daily screen-time for hours on end. It's ridiculous. And sibling just says "this is the only way I can talk" at a restaurant. As if my kids started off knowing how to behave at a restaurant at age 1?! No, I had to teach them what to do, and now they are capable of ordering for themselves and entertaining themselves with small toys/coloring (which I bring with me). We had many meals where we left immediately after scarfing down our food. We had many times when one parent had to walk the kid outside the restaurant because they couldn't sit still. In some situations, I even resorted to showing my kid pictures of their family on my phone to entertain them. So yea, I judge parents who turn on a tv show at restaurants for all to hear because they can't or don't want to parent appropriately.

(And I'm not anti-screens. My kids love movie nights and get free rein on road trips/airplanes.)

But your whole post gets to the exact crux of the issue. You let them watch Bluey for the time it takes to order and eat at a (presumably, since these are little kids … if we’re talking fine dining that’s a whole different can of worms) casual, family friendly restaurant. You can somewhat take your time eating and not have to shovel food in your face and maybe you and your spouse/friend can chat for 10 minutes. Or you do it how you described, scarf down your food, leave immediately, spouse takes a kid outside to run around while you wait for the food or pay your bill. The first scenario is obviously more pleasant. The second is stressful and annoying. I’m also unclear how the second scenario is teaching your kid anything.

I'm the poster you are responding to. Yes, the first scenario is more pleasant for the parent. No one is confused about that. But it also is a shortcut that leads to 12 year olds who cannot converse at the table. The second scenario, over time, built my kids up to where they are today: kids who can spend an hour at a restaurant behaving themselves without screens. The first scenario leaves you permanently in "my kid watches things at a restaurant" mode. My kids are 5 and 7--we aren't talking about a decade-long progression here. The scarfing down phase was when they were 18 months-3 years.

And to the other poster who claimed I don't want to parent my kids, sheesh! If you want to spend your own family meals ignoring your kids, fine. But don't bring your kid out to a meal with me and then set your kid up to ignore everyone else the whole time. Clearly some of y'all think it's ok to teach your kid to be rude.

It should be obvious why airplanes are different. Most adults watch movies on airplanes. You are sitting in the same spot for hours. That is not remotely the same as a group dinner. Would you watch a movie when out at a restaurant with your friends?

In no universe is a toddler at CAVA with their parents equivalent to you going out to dinner with your friends.

And no, having young kids watch screens does not "leave you permanently in 'my kid watches things as a restaurant mode' - that is a fairy tale you tell yourself to justify your "my screens are fine, your screens are poison" posture.

[Anonymous]

In the real world most people dgaf about a toddler looking at a phone for 20 minutes. This is a DCUM people problem.

[Anonymous]

I don't necessarily judge parents for giving their kids screens in public unless they do it with sound and no headphones. That one makes me mad because it's so rude.

But I agree with the posters who think it's just a bad social habit and is contributing to a culture where kids grow up not knowing how to function in common social settings without a screen.

It's easy to look at the parents with the toddler and think "I"m sure they just need a break, I get it." But when you are also seeing families with tweens and teens all the time and the kids are on phones and tablets and not interacting with their parents or siblings (or the wait staff or anyone else in their orbit) at all, it's depressing. By 10 or 11, kids should be able to order politely at a restaurant, and have pleasant conversation with the family. Even if the conversation isn't exactly to their liking, they should be able to tolerate it and not need a distraction for the duration of the meal. But how will they ever get there if they always get screens when out at a restaurant? It appears to me that a lot of kids are not learning this skill and it's leading to a very checked out, lonely generation of people who have limited social skills and don't know how to function in public. It's concerning.

I'm willing to put up with some disruptive little kids in family restaurants to avoid that. It's Cava, not the Four Seasons. If your kid is a little annoying, it's okay. I know you're doing your best and your kid will learn.

[Anonymous]

I'm with OP too. I'm so sick of screens in front of children now. The only time I will bring it out is when my kids are having a meltdown and I cannot leave (like DH and I buying windows for our house and trying to decide options with the employee. We just needed 15min in order to purchase them and it was a big purchase for us.)

We no longer allow ipads on roadtrips unless they exceed 4 hours. So short trips to the beach? No ipad. Roadtrip to Florida- yes ipad. Airplanes also are a yes ipad. It does make our lives 10x harder, but I think it's worth it in the long run. I'm constantly having to help my toddler with coloring books or car toys, but my older kids do read now.

Kids and I sometimes do "pass and play" games on my phone (like Uno or Ticket to Ride) and I'm undecided if that's good or bad. It's usually like when we're riding metro or it's been a long day at a sibling's game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am well aware of the exceptions:

We only had a few minutes to talk and needed out toddler to be quiet.
Our toddler has XYZ diagnosis.
And on and on.

But the research is there and the pendulum is swinging the other way. There are few legitimate reasons to prop up a screen in front of your 13 month old at cava while you lunch with your partner. It’s 20 minutes tops.

Knock it off, people.

For all you know the woman is with that child all day long and this is her chance to have a break and enjoy an adult conversation. The screen is then a short-lived treat for the child? 20 minutes. Not only are you ridiculously judgmental but you have a screw loose to post this kind of screed.

Women have been alone with children for hundreds of years yet somehow managed it without iPads/iPhones. Sorry you were a crappy parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily judge parents for giving their kids screens in public unless they do it with sound and no headphones. That one makes me mad because it's so rude.

But I agree with the posters who think it's just a bad social habit and is contributing to a culture where kids grow up not knowing how to function in common social settings without a screen.

It's easy to look at the parents with the toddler and think "I"m sure they just need a break, I get it." But when you are also seeing families with tweens and teens all the time and the kids are on phones and tablets and not interacting with their parents or siblings (or the wait staff or anyone else in their orbit) at all, it's depressing. By 10 or 11, kids should be able to order politely at a restaurant, and have pleasant conversation with the family. Even if the conversation isn't exactly to their liking, they should be able to tolerate it and not need a distraction for the duration of the meal. But how will they ever get there if they always get screens when out at a restaurant? It appears to me that a lot of kids are not learning this skill and it's leading to a very checked out, lonely generation of people who have limited social skills and don't know how to function in public. It's concerning.

I'm willing to put up with some disruptive little kids in family restaurants to avoid that. It's Cava, not the Four Seasons. If your kid is a little annoying, it's okay. I know you're doing your best and your kid will learn.

5 or 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP too. I'm so sick of screens in front of children now. The only time I will bring it out is when my kids are having a meltdown and I cannot leave (like DH and I buying windows for our house and trying to decide options with the employee. We just needed 15min in order to purchase them and it was a big purchase for us.)

We no longer allow ipads on roadtrips unless they exceed 4 hours. So short trips to the beach? No ipad. Roadtrip to Florida- yes ipad. Airplanes also are a yes ipad. It does make our lives 10x harder, but I think it's worth it in the long run. I'm constantly having to help my toddler with coloring books or car toys, but my older kids do read now.

Kids and I sometimes do "pass and play" games on my phone (like Uno or Ticket to Ride) and I'm undecided if that's good or bad. It's usually like when we're riding metro or it's been a long day at a sibling's game.

Sounds like you give your kids a lot of screentime, e.i. poison s/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily judge parents for giving their kids screens in public unless they do it with sound and no headphones. That one makes me mad because it's so rude.

But I agree with the posters who think it's just a bad social habit and is contributing to a culture where kids grow up not knowing how to function in common social settings without a screen.

It's easy to look at the parents with the toddler and think "I"m sure they just need a break, I get it." But when you are also seeing families with tweens and teens all the time and the kids are on phones and tablets and not interacting with their parents or siblings (or the wait staff or anyone else in their orbit) at all, it's depressing. By 10 or 11, kids should be able to order politely at a restaurant, and have pleasant conversation with the family. Even if the conversation isn't exactly to their liking, they should be able to tolerate it and not need a distraction for the duration of the meal. But how will they ever get there if they always get screens when out at a restaurant? It appears to me that a lot of kids are not learning this skill and it's leading to a very checked out, lonely generation of people who have limited social skills and don't know how to function in public. It's concerning.

I'm willing to put up with some disruptive little kids in family restaurants to avoid that. It's Cava, not the Four Seasons. If your kid is a little annoying, it's okay. I know you're doing your best and your kid will learn.

5 or 6.

I think 5 or 6 is too young to expect ALL children to be able to order and quietly converse with parents. Kindergarteners have a large range of attention spans and comfort with adults who are not their parent or regular teacher/caregiver.

My own kid, who never got screens in restaurants, struggled with ordering her own food until she was about 9. She was/is shy and while she was capable of deciding what she wanted, she'd get shy when the waiter appeared and ask me to order for her. We gently encouraged but didn't push, and now she's very good at this as a tween.

I also have zero issues with a 5 or 6 year old coloring or looking at a book while at a restaurant. The nice thing about these activities is that you can dip in and out of them more easily, so it's an easy thing for a younger child to do while waiting for food, when conversing with adults or older kids at the table might just be too much for them. Again, when my kid was this age we would often bring a pad of paper and some gel pens and sometimes my kid would draw on their own, and other times we'd use the paper to play games as a family. Like a favorite was to fold a piece of paper in half and one person would draw the top half of something and then flip it over and someone else would draw the bottom half without looking at the top, and then we'd open it up to see what they'd frankensteined together. This is an easy, fun game to play with a kid this age to keep them engaged (or distracted from hunger) but that doesn't make it impossible for the adults to enjoy themselves.

I wish more people would realize that it IS possible to engage with kids in public places without it being a miserable experience for you. You just need some more activities and skills. If you expect your kids to complain and annoy you at all times, you will miss out on opportunities for them to actually be fun, engaging dining companions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily judge parents for giving their kids screens in public unless they do it with sound and no headphones. That one makes me mad because it's so rude.

But I agree with the posters who think it's just a bad social habit and is contributing to a culture where kids grow up not knowing how to function in common social settings without a screen.

It's easy to look at the parents with the toddler and think "I"m sure they just need a break, I get it." But when you are also seeing families with tweens and teens all the time and the kids are on phones and tablets and not interacting with their parents or siblings (or the wait staff or anyone else in their orbit) at all, it's depressing. By 10 or 11, kids should be able to order politely at a restaurant, and have pleasant conversation with the family. Even if the conversation isn't exactly to their liking, they should be able to tolerate it and not need a distraction for the duration of the meal. But how will they ever get there if they always get screens when out at a restaurant? It appears to me that a lot of kids are not learning this skill and it's leading to a very checked out, lonely generation of people who have limited social skills and don't know how to function in public. It's concerning.

I'm willing to put up with some disruptive little kids in family restaurants to avoid that. It's Cava, not the Four Seasons. If your kid is a little annoying, it's okay. I know you're doing your best and your kid will learn.

5 or 6.

I think 5 or 6 is too young to expect ALL children to be able to order and quietly converse with parents. Kindergarteners have a large range of attention spans and comfort with adults who are not their parent or regular teacher/caregiver.

My own kid, who never got screens in restaurants, struggled with ordering her own food until she was about 9. She was/is shy and while she was capable of deciding what she wanted, she'd get shy when the waiter appeared and ask me to order for her. We gently encouraged but didn't push, and now she's very good at this as a tween.

I also have zero issues with a 5 or 6 year old coloring or looking at a book while at a restaurant. The nice thing about these activities is that you can dip in and out of them more easily, so it's an easy thing for a younger child to do while waiting for food, when conversing with adults or older kids at the table might just be too much for them. Again, when my kid was this age we would often bring a pad of paper and some gel pens and sometimes my kid would draw on their own, and other times we'd use the paper to play games as a family. Like a favorite was to fold a piece of paper in half and one person would draw the top half of something and then flip it over and someone else would draw the bottom half without looking at the top, and then we'd open it up to see what they'd frankensteined together. This is an easy, fun game to play with a kid this age to keep them engaged (or distracted from hunger) but that doesn't make it impossible for the adults to enjoy themselves.

I wish more people would realize that it IS possible to engage with kids in public places without it being a miserable experience for you. You just need some more activities and skills. If you expect your kids to complain and annoy you at all times, you will miss out on opportunities for them to actually be fun, engaging dining companions.

You spent so much time writing this thinking parents don't know any of this. Parents know all of this. We give our kids coloring books and engage with them and converse with them and it often works! And then there are the times when it doesn't, and screens can be a great tool on those occasions. Sorry you wasted your time writing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't necessarily judge parents for giving their kids screens in public unless they do it with sound and no headphones. That one makes me mad because it's so rude.

But I agree with the posters who think it's just a bad social habit and is contributing to a culture where kids grow up not knowing how to function in common social settings without a screen.

It's easy to look at the parents with the toddler and think "I"m sure they just need a break, I get it." But when you are also seeing families with tweens and teens all the time and the kids are on phones and tablets and not interacting with their parents or siblings (or the wait staff or anyone else in their orbit) at all, it's depressing. By 10 or 11, kids should be able to order politely at a restaurant, and have pleasant conversation with the family. Even if the conversation isn't exactly to their liking, they should be able to tolerate it and not need a distraction for the duration of the meal. But how will they ever get there if they always get screens when out at a restaurant? It appears to me that a lot of kids are not learning this skill and it's leading to a very checked out, lonely generation of people who have limited social skills and don't know how to function in public. It's concerning.

I'm willing to put up with some disruptive little kids in family restaurants to avoid that. It's Cava, not the Four Seasons. If your kid is a little annoying, it's okay. I know you're doing your best and your kid will learn.

5 or 6.

I think 5 or 6 is too young to expect ALL children to be able to order and quietly converse with parents. Kindergarteners have a large range of attention spans and comfort with adults who are not their parent or regular teacher/caregiver.

My own kid, who never got screens in restaurants, struggled with ordering her own food until she was about 9. She was/is shy and while she was capable of deciding what she wanted, she'd get shy when the waiter appeared and ask me to order for her. We gently encouraged but didn't push, and now she's very good at this as a tween.

I also have zero issues with a 5 or 6 year old coloring or looking at a book while at a restaurant. The nice thing about these activities is that you can dip in and out of them more easily, so it's an easy thing for a younger child to do while waiting for food, when conversing with adults or older kids at the table might just be too much for them. Again, when my kid was this age we would often bring a pad of paper and some gel pens and sometimes my kid would draw on their own, and other times we'd use the paper to play games as a family. Like a favorite was to fold a piece of paper in half and one person would draw the top half of something and then flip it over and someone else would draw the bottom half without looking at the top, and then we'd open it up to see what they'd frankensteined together. This is an easy, fun game to play with a kid this age to keep them engaged (or distracted from hunger) but that doesn't make it impossible for the adults to enjoy themselves.

I wish more people would realize that it IS possible to engage with kids in public places without it being a miserable experience for you. You just need some more activities and skills. If you expect your kids to complain and annoy you at all times, you will miss out on opportunities for them to actually be fun, engaging dining companions.

You spent so much time writing this thinking parents don't know any of this. Parents know all of this. We give our kids coloring books and engage with them and converse with them and it often works! And then there are the times when it doesn't, and screens can be a great tool on those occasions. Sorry you wasted your time writing this.

I wrote it out because it's my opinion, not because I assumed all parents know or don't know it. It also didn't take me that long -- I'm a fast typer.

I see a LOT of tweens/teens out in public with their families with their faces glued to phones or tablets. I also personally know a lot of parents of teens who have told me they wished they'd limited screen access a lot more when their kids were younger, waited to give them tablets or phones, and forced their kids to sit through restaurant meals and other public activities without screens. It think there was a period of time where screens just became a default for parents and you were considered a bad parent if you *didn't* supply your kid with a screen, because it meant you were cheap or were allowing them to bother other people. Now I think that's shifting a bit. I'm firmly on the side of we need to limit screens a lot more in order to preserve social skills and raise a generation of kids who know how to interact with other human beings in public settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. I have a sibling who brings out a screen for her kids whenever we go to a restaurant and they make any fuss whatsoever. I have had to ask sibling to take out the screens when we go out with them, as I don't want my kids thinking it's normal/appropriate. Sibling's kids are several years younger than mine and are used to daily screen-time for hours on end. It's ridiculous. And sibling just says "this is the only way I can talk" at a restaurant. As if my kids started off knowing how to behave at a restaurant at age 1?! No, I had to teach them what to do, and now they are capable of ordering for themselves and entertaining themselves with small toys/coloring (which I bring with me). We had many meals where we left immediately after scarfing down our food. We had many times when one parent had to walk the kid outside the restaurant because they couldn't sit still. In some situations, I even resorted to showing my kid pictures of their family on my phone to entertain them. So yea, I judge parents who turn on a tv show at restaurants for all to hear because they can't or don't want to parent appropriately.

(And I'm not anti-screens. My kids love movie nights and get free rein on road trips/airplanes.)

But your whole post gets to the exact crux of the issue. You let them watch Bluey for the time it takes to order and eat at a (presumably, since these are little kids … if we’re talking fine dining that’s a whole different can of worms) casual, family friendly restaurant. You can somewhat take your time eating and not have to shovel food in your face and maybe you and your spouse/friend can chat for 10 minutes. Or you do it how you described, scarf down your food, leave immediately, spouse takes a kid outside to run around while you wait for the food or pay your bill. The first scenario is obviously more pleasant. The second is stressful and annoying. I’m also unclear how the second scenario is teaching your kid anything.

I'm the poster you are responding to. Yes, the first scenario is more pleasant for the parent. No one is confused about that. But it also is a shortcut that leads to 12 year olds who cannot converse at the table. The second scenario, over time, built my kids up to where they are today: kids who can spend an hour at a restaurant behaving themselves without screens. The first scenario leaves you permanently in "my kid watches things at a restaurant" mode. My kids are 5 and 7--we aren't talking about a decade-long progression here. The scarfing down phase was when they were 18 months-3 years.

And to the other poster who claimed I don't want to parent my kids, sheesh! If you want to spend your own family meals ignoring your kids, fine. But don't bring your kid out to a meal with me and then set your kid up to ignore everyone else the whole time. Clearly some of y'all think it's ok to teach your kid to be rude.

It should be obvious why airplanes are different. Most adults watch movies on airplanes. You are sitting in the same spot for hours. That is not remotely the same as a group dinner. Would you watch a movie when out at a restaurant with your friends?

In no universe is a toddler at CAVA with their parents equivalent to you going out to dinner with your friends.

And no, having young kids watch screens does not "leave you permanently in 'my kid watches things as a restaurant mode' - that is a fairy tale you tell yourself to justify your "my screens are fine, your screens are poison" posture.

NP. Ok, so do you think you are helping your child develop the skills they need to sit and engage with people during mealtime…by having the kid stare at the iPad or phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with OP. I have a sibling who brings out a screen for her kids whenever we go to a restaurant and they make any fuss whatsoever. I have had to ask sibling to take out the screens when we go out with them, as I don't want my kids thinking it's normal/appropriate. Sibling's kids are several years younger than mine and are used to daily screen-time for hours on end. It's ridiculous. And sibling just says "this is the only way I can talk" at a restaurant. As if my kids started off knowing how to behave at a restaurant at age 1?! No, I had to teach them what to do, and now they are capable of ordering for themselves and entertaining themselves with small toys/coloring (which I bring with me). We had many meals where we left immediately after scarfing down our food. We had many times when one parent had to walk the kid outside the restaurant because they couldn't sit still. In some situations, I even resorted to showing my kid pictures of their family on my phone to entertain them. So yea, I judge parents who turn on a tv show at restaurants for all to hear because they can't or don't want to parent appropriately.

(And I'm not anti-screens. My kids love movie nights and get free rein on road trips/airplanes.)

But your whole post gets to the exact crux of the issue. You let them watch Bluey for the time it takes to order and eat at a (presumably, since these are little kids … if we’re talking fine dining that’s a whole different can of worms) casual, family friendly restaurant. You can somewhat take your time eating and not have to shovel food in your face and maybe you and your spouse/friend can chat for 10 minutes. Or you do it how you described, scarf down your food, leave immediately, spouse takes a kid outside to run around while you wait for the food or pay your bill. The first scenario is obviously more pleasant. The second is stressful and annoying. I’m also unclear how the second scenario is teaching your kid anything.

I'm the poster you are responding to. Yes, the first scenario is more pleasant for the parent. No one is confused about that. But it also is a shortcut that leads to 12 year olds who cannot converse at the table. The second scenario, over time, built my kids up to where they are today: kids who can spend an hour at a restaurant behaving themselves without screens. The first scenario leaves you permanently in "my kid watches things at a restaurant" mode. My kids are 5 and 7--we aren't talking about a decade-long progression here. The scarfing down phase was when they were 18 months-3 years.

And to the other poster who claimed I don't want to parent my kids, sheesh! If you want to spend your own family meals ignoring your kids, fine. But don't bring your kid out to a meal with me and then set your kid up to ignore everyone else the whole time. Clearly some of y'all think it's ok to teach your kid to be rude.

It should be obvious why airplanes are different. Most adults watch movies on airplanes. You are sitting in the same spot for hours. That is not remotely the same as a group dinner. Would you watch a movie when out at a restaurant with your friends?

In no universe is a toddler at CAVA with their parents equivalent to you going out to dinner with your friends.

And no, having young kids watch screens does not "leave you permanently in 'my kid watches things as a restaurant mode' - that is a fairy tale you tell yourself to justify your "my screens are fine, your screens are poison" posture.

NP. Ok, so do you think you are helping your child develop the skills they need to sit and engage with people during mealtime…by having the kid stare at the iPad or phone?

No, nobody thinks that! Why would you think anybody thinks that?

Most rational people who have any experience with kids know parents use the screens in places like restaurants so they can have some peace and quiet in that moment. Some parents probably use it too much and don't care and definitely don't care what you think. Others might be using it because their kid was melting down, slept poorly, etc. And they also don't care what you think but you judging them for it makes you look like a fool especially when you have a long list of places you think screens are fine, it's just how OTHER people use them that is not fine and worthy of your disdain.