How would you handle this little girl drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

Then she called you to gossip? That’s odd. She didn’t have to tell you about the conversation with the other parents, that seems inappropriate. You mentioned she didn’t initially contact you about the incident at all- not until after the other parents contacted her. Sounds like your school prompts parents being needy with all this unnecessary contacting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

Then she called you to gossip? That’s odd. She didn’t have to tell you about the conversation with the other parents, that seems inappropriate. You mentioned she didn’t initially contact you about the incident at all- not until after the other parents contacted her. Sounds like your school prompts parents being needy with all this unnecessary contacting

Another parent just told me the other girl was bullying another girl last year. They were in the same class. I guess the bullied girl’s parents made a big deal about it.

DD seems to be on good terms with the girl again. The whole thing is over with DD…at least for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, just to clarify:

The girls had some kind of disagreement at school in which your DD felt the other girl was being unkind and said so. So she said something like "you're mean" or "you're a mean girl." Is that correct?

The teacher saw the incident and spoke to the girls. Both girls were upset? Is that correct? And the teacher comforted both girls or just your DD? Did the teacher do anything else?

The other girl told her parents about what happened, and specifically about your DD saying their child was being mean or unkind (what word was used? do you know?). Whatever she told them triggered the parents to think this needed to be addressed, so they reached out to the teacher and to you. Did you actually speak to them? It sounds like they reached out to you several times but you haven't spoken to them yet? What form did these communications take? Have your responded and how?

The teacher has also reached out to you since the other girl's parents reached out to the teacher, right? Did the teacher suggest the conference, or did the teacher just say the other parents want the conference? Is anyone at the school other Than the teacher involved at this point?

Your daughter has since forgotten about the incident and moved on. How many days have passed? Has your daughter interacted with the other girl since it happened? Are they playing together again or is there a rift?

OP: I get why you are being vague, but the vagueness is opening up the possibility that you or your daughter may be in the wrong. The biggest issue here is *exactly* what your DD said to the other girl to communicate that the other girl was being unkind. What precise words did she use? Some words carry a lot of weight and the other parents could be forgiven for reacting strongly. Did she use words like bully or "mean girl"? There are good reasons why parents would want to be ensure their child doesn't get labeled with those words.

And it also sound like you maybe could have avoided the school meeting if you'd responded more directly to the parents when they reached out, at least hearing out their concerns. If they think there is a problem here and you don't, they may feel they have no choice but to go through the school if you won't work with them. Hard to say if this is reasonable or not without knowing exactly what was said or how the girls are acting with one another now.

Finally, based on your comments here, I suspect English may not be your first language, and/or that you may be from another country or culture. Gently, do you think any of this might be due to miscommunication or misunderstandings in language or cultural expectations? Do you think there might be a valid conflict in here that you may be missing because you lack cultural context? Just a thought.

No to all of this if indeed the girls are good now. If the girls are good, the parents shouldn't make it bad.

If the girls aren't good, then let the teacher manage and attend meetings as requested by the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

Then she called you to gossip? That’s odd. She didn’t have to tell you about the conversation with the other parents, that seems inappropriate. You mentioned she didn’t initially contact you about the incident at all- not until after the other parents contacted her. Sounds like your school prompts parents being needy with all this unnecessary contacting

Another parent just told me the other girl was bullying another girl last year. They were in the same class. I guess the bullied girl’s parents made a big deal about it.

DD seems to be on good terms with the girl again. The whole thing is over with DD…at least for now.

Seems like you're making an awfully big deal about it carrying on with the teacher, other parents, polling people here. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

That is very high contact. What else is going on with your daughter that you're not mentioning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

Then she called you to gossip? That’s odd. She didn’t have to tell you about the conversation with the other parents, that seems inappropriate. You mentioned she didn’t initially contact you about the incident at all- not until after the other parents contacted her. Sounds like your school prompts parents being needy with all this unnecessary contacting

Another parent just told me the other girl was bullying another girl last year. They were in the same class. I guess the bullied girl’s parents made a big deal about it.

DD seems to be on good terms with the girl again. The whole thing is over with DD…at least for now.

OP, you are the source of the drama.

Has anyone even asked you to do anything here? It sounds like the other parents requested a meeting with the teacher and you weren't even invited but you heard about it. Who cares? They seem to be concerned about their child's behavior and being proactive about working with the school on it. It has nothing to do with you.

STOP gossiping about them and their daughter with other parents at the school, OMG. You sound like you are very eager to collect info about other kids and their families and discuss it as much as possible (including here) even though you don't even have all the info and it doesn't involve you directly.

If your kid is fine, who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

Then she called you to gossip? That’s odd. She didn’t have to tell you about the conversation with the other parents, that seems inappropriate. You mentioned she didn’t initially contact you about the incident at all- not until after the other parents contacted her. Sounds like your school prompts parents being needy with all this unnecessary contacting

Another parent just told me the other girl was bullying another girl last year. They were in the same class. I guess the bullied girl’s parents made a big deal about it.

DD seems to be on good terms with the girl again. The whole thing is over with DD…at least for now.

Seems like you're making an awfully big deal about it carrying on with the teacher, other parents, polling people here. Get over it.

This and stop replying to every response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's a private school, the parents of the mean girl might be panicking that their daughter will get kicked out for bullying.

Since OP now confirmed it is a private school I wonder if it really just boils down to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know the other family wanted a conference? They are allowed to follow up on any issues with their daughter. This teacher sounds like an idiot going between the families and gossiping.

Yeah. I’m not understanding why the teacher was in touch with OP at all. Was it because the other parent specifically asked the teacher to reach out to her to her and ask she attend a meeting?

The teacher seems to be the one creating issue here. It looks like she contacted the parents and told them their child was being mean to or bullying another, sbd the other parents freaked out.

OP says the teacher did NOT contact parents. But rather when the other girl told her parents what happened, they reached out to the teacher for more info and then wanted the meeting.

Op here. This poster has followed correctly.

Ok, but this leaves the question why did the teacher end up calling you after that parent called the teacher?

This teacher is very very responsive. She has contacted me 5 times already this year. I think she wants to get to know us? She even emails me to tell me that my child had a great day.

I have another child and his advisor used to contact us many times as well.

This is private school.

Then she called you to gossip? That’s odd. She didn’t have to tell you about the conversation with the other parents, that seems inappropriate. You mentioned she didn’t initially contact you about the incident at all- not until after the other parents contacted her. Sounds like your school prompts parents being needy with all this unnecessary contacting

Another parent just told me the other girl was bullying another girl last year. They were in the same class. I guess the bullied girl’s parents made a big deal about it.

DD seems to be on good terms with the girl again. The whole thing is over with DD…at least for now.

Love the drip, drip, drip of a troll.

[Anonymous]

I’d refuse to go and validate their crazy expectations. Tell your daughter to ignore their child.