Would you tell friend her daughter has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few of our friends have kids who all attend the same high school. My children attended a different high school. One friend said her child told her about my friend’s daughter and her girlfriend.

I personally would want to be made aware as a parent. I would also want to know if my daughter had a boyfriend.

Yes. The other mom has a right to know something like that about their own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the mom doesn't know, there's probably a reason. I wouldn't out a kid unless there was a safety issue.

Yes to this. If the kid wanted mom to know, mom would know. It matters not at all whether it’s a girlfriend or boyfriend.

If there is no safety issue then there is nothing to tell.

[Anonymous]

I’m fairly certain I never told my parents who I was dating in high school unless it was for an extended period of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of our friends have kids who all attend the same high school. My children attended a different high school. One friend said her child told her about my friend’s daughter and her girlfriend.

I personally would want to be made aware as a parent. I would also want to know if my daughter had a boyfriend.

Presumably you can find other things to gossip about. Or just complain about your husband. Don't make drama for others.

I would want to know if this was my child. I guess all of you would not want to know.

I would like to know, but my concern here would be more about why my child did not confide in me, and less about who they're dating. There is something not quite right about that relationship if the child is not trusting the parent with the information.

Right, and we all know gossiping about someone behind their back is a great way to engender trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of our friends have kids who all attend the same high school. My children attended a different high school. One friend said her child told her about my friend’s daughter and her girlfriend.

I personally would want to be made aware as a parent. I would also want to know if my daughter had a boyfriend.

Yes. The other mom has a right to know something like that about their own child.

Oh my! Not a girlfriend! Lordy, Lordy.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know. Especially same sex because maybe this mom is having the girl over for sleepovers unaware. Sexual relationships at a young age can be harmful- same or opposite sex. But at least with opposite sex, most parents are proactive with precautions (no bedrooms, stay in common areas, no sleepovers, etc).

But having said that, in this circumstance, I wouldn’t bring it up because it’s just gossip. You really don’t know anything. Hearing something from another mom, who heard from her daughter, who heard from we don’t know where, is not reliable information

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know. Especially same sex because maybe this mom is having the girl over for sleepovers unaware. Sexual relationships at a young age can be harmful- same or opposite sex. But at least with opposite sex, most parents are proactive with precautions (no bedrooms, stay in common areas, no sleepovers, etc).

+1

The mom can figure out if it’s gossip or not. Better safe than sorry- say something!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know. Especially same sex because maybe this mom is having the girl over for sleepovers unaware. Sexual relationships at a young age can be harmful- same or opposite sex. But at least with opposite sex, most parents are proactive with precautions (no bedrooms, stay in common areas, no sleepovers, etc).

+1

The mom can figure out if it’s gossip or not. Better safe than sorry- say something!

OMG. Safe from what???

No, OP. Nothing good will come from this. Do not meddle, stay out of it and go find some other purpose in life.

[Anonymous]

Meddlesome helicopter parents (often moms) are a big reason we are where we are in terms of kids with depression, anxiety, lacking agency, feeling unloved, etc.

There is absolutely no good reason for OP to get involved here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of our friends have kids who all attend the same high school. My children attended a different high school. One friend said her child told her about my friend’s daughter and her girlfriend.

I personally would want to be made aware as a parent. I would also want to know if my daughter had a boyfriend.

Yes. The other mom has a right to know something like that about their own child.

Except maybe they don’t.
Parents do not need to know everything that happens in a teen’s dating life, especially when there is no indication of abuse or control issues going on, no chance of pregnancy, and statistically insignificant chance of STDs. And if the kid is not talking to their parents about it, you might want to reflect on WHY.

Get a life, OP.

[Anonymous]

No. I would pretend like I never heard that information. If she doesn’t already know, she’ll find out. No need to meddle here.

[Anonymous]

My friend came up and was like did you know your son is dating Mary?

I was like no, he’s not.

She’s like yeah I talked to Mary’s mom they’re dating.

I was like no, they’re not.

Nobody knows what’s really going on …what you see two people kiss and you think they’re dating?

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of our friends have kids who all attend the same high school. My children attended a different high school. One friend said her child told her about my friend’s daughter and her girlfriend.

I personally would want to be made aware as a parent. I would also want to know if my daughter had a boyfriend.

Presumably you can find other things to gossip about. Or just complain about your husband. Don't make drama for others.

I would want to know if this was my child. I guess all of you would not want to know.

This is a very stupid way to think. You have to be able to distinguish between what you would WANT to know and what's worth overriding your kid's decision not to tell you.

This. First, there is clearly some homophobia mixed in here. But yes, I’d want to know if my DD had a boyfriend OR girlfriend and I’d like to have the kind of relationship where she’d be comfortable sharing that with me. But if she decided not to tell me, I don’t need some other parent butting in her business. To my knowledge, neither my 15 year old son nor my 13 year old daughter has had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m aware of crushes going one way or another but I *think* DS would feel comfortable telling me if there was a bf or gf and I think DD would be less so but we will see. So far a lot of what I know is from carpools. Haha.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing more pathetic than the moms who get involved in teenage gossip. My DD tells me all the time that she is so glad I am not in the mom crew that seems obsessed with the teenage lives of the private school kids in our area. GET A LIFE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of our friends have kids who all attend the same high school. My children attended a different high school. One friend said her child told her about my friend’s daughter and her girlfriend.

I personally would want to be made aware as a parent. I would also want to know if my daughter had a boyfriend.

Yes. The other mom has a right to know something like that about their own child.

Except maybe they don’t.
Parents do not need to know everything that happens in a teen’s dating life, especially when there is no indication of abuse or control issues going on, no chance of pregnancy, and statistically insignificant chance of STDs. And if the kid is not talking to their parents about it, you might want to reflect on WHY.

Get a life, OP.

+1. At some point kids should be allowed to keep information from their parents. Sometimes they're right to do so, sometimes they're wrong, but part of growing up is getting to make that choice.