44, I don’t own a house but kids are in private and college is paid for…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

Lol, do you live in DC? All the 3br homes that came up for sale in our neighborhood in the past two years were well over $1.5M no matter the condition or size.

If OP/spouse actually have "two good careers" they could easily afford a house in lieu of pricey private school payments. OP clearly feels insecure about not owning a home and was seeking validation for his unusual choices. Most people don't sacrifice home ownership for private school. Obviously it happens but it's not common at all. Neither is waiting to buy a house until your parents die and leave you the money to do it.

I could afford a home in lieu of pricey private school payments, but I want my kids to get a good education... I'm prioritizing their education over my real estate ownership.

I talk to a lot of parents who complain about their local public schools and jump through all kinds of hoops to try to wedge themselves into a school district they think is the right one but plead they can't afford private school for their kids. Well, you live in a $1.7m house in upper NW DC—you're not broke, you just prioritized home ownership over your kid's education.

If you intentionally wedge yourself into a good school district in a rich neighborhood, it sounds like you have prioritized your kid's education as well as home ownership.

Yeah, I probably should have said "scheming" to wedge themselves into a good district. It's not if your focus is getting the real estate and hoping you can get a "good enough" public school instead of opting for the best choice, whether it's public or private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP or PP, but it seems entitled to complain that your parents don't help with a down payment when you acknowledge you have good salaries and your parents help with college for your kids. You realize that most people have to save for a down payment and college, right?

I'm not complaining. I'm noting.

And, I know very few people who did not receive some form of assistance from their parents. Hell, my parents got $5k from my grandparents in 1971 for their downpayment. My parents have been extremely generous, but there was never a discussion about in what way--I can't complain (and haven't) that they've already financed by kid's college education in advance, but I think that if 12 years ago, they had given me 1/3 of what they have put into our kid's college accounts, I would own a nice house and would be pretty heftily be paying into a 529. But they didn't.

I'm just commenting on the weirdness of it. When talking to my peers, a lot of them are really stressed about how to pay for college and are unhappy they can't send their kids to private school... but they own homes I can't imagine ever owning. I wonder who, in the end, is better off. I think, financially speaking, they are... but I don't regret prioritizing my kid's education.

You know a very small and homogenous slice of society, then.

And fantasizing about how someone else could have more optimally gifted you a huge sum of money is… odd.

Are you new to DCUM?

Also, it's not odd, it's something to think about.

[Anonymous]

We are in this same boat, essentially buying makes no sense (even considering the tax benefits). I also feel weird that this phase of life just passed us, but the cuts required to our current lifestyles to be able to allocate a chunk of money to a downpayment makes no sense, particularly with interest rates this high. I agree with the poster above who says more people will make these decisions like us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in this same boat, essentially buying makes no sense (even considering the tax benefits). I also feel weird that this phase of life just passed us, but the cuts required to our current lifestyles to be able to allocate a chunk of money to a downpayment makes no sense, particularly with interest rates this high. I agree with the poster above who says more people will make these decisions like us.

OP here. This is probably the tactful way to make my point. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

I’m not living beyond my means. I don’t have any debt. I wake up everyday and live a good life. My kids are getting an excellent education.

I guess I’m wondering why more people don’t do this and I think the answer is they get trapped in home ownership. In New York people don’t worry about buying, they just take advantage of the opportunities they have.

The house I bought with a 2.5% mortgage has doubled in value, so I guess that has trapped me into home ownership. Should’ve p!ssed away the money in rent instead.

[Anonymous]

I’m not the OP, but the tone in this thread is exhausting.

You all talk like generational wealth is a moral achievement instead of what it is: luck paired with good timing.

The OP said they have no debt, thriving kids, college fully funded, and a stable retirement trajectory. But because they rent and don’t fit your mental picture of “wealth,” it somehow becomes open season?

Homeownership is not a character trait. It’s a financial tool—and like any tool, its usefulness depends on the context. Some of you bought in 2014 or refinanced at 2.8% and act like it was your budgeting discipline, not Fed policy, that made you smart.

Let’s not confuse intergenerational strategy with laziness. Or flexibility with failure. If the OP’s setup makes you uncomfortable, maybe ask why—and what it says about the limits of your own imagination.

[Anonymous]

Pretty rich to complain when your parents fully funded your kids' college accounts. GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

I’m not living beyond my means. I don’t have any debt. I wake up everyday and live a good life. My kids are getting an excellent education.

I guess I’m wondering why more people don’t do this and I think the answer is they get trapped in home ownership. In New York people don’t worry about buying, they just take advantage of the opportunities they have.

Not trying to attack - when you say you're "wondering why more people don't to this" - what is the this? Get hundreds of thousands of dollars from your parents for your kids education? Or is it live as renters because it's better than buying a house?

Basically OP is saying they live fine, can’t save for a down payment. Their kids college is ok because of grandparents.

I know many people who rely on parents. We can easily fund our kids but I always tell them that they have to support themselves and families. OP and her family would be the bare minimum I would want my kids to be able to do, basically feed themselves and I will have to pay for my grandchildren’s college. Sigh. That sounds pretty bad actually. Hope my kids do better and able to at least buy a home. We would give them down payment money though. I wouldn’t want them to wait for us to die to buy a house finally in cash.

[Anonymous]

Our primary house in DC will be paid off in 4 years. Our vacation home will be paid off in 5. I love that we'll own our properties outright and can leave them to our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not the OP, but the tone in this thread is exhausting.

You all talk like generational wealth is a moral achievement instead of what it is: luck paired with good timing.

The OP said they have no debt, thriving kids, college fully funded, and a stable retirement trajectory. But because they rent and don’t fit your mental picture of “wealth,” it somehow becomes open season?

Homeownership is not a character trait. It’s a financial tool—and like any tool, its usefulness depends on the context. Some of you bought in 2014 or refinanced at 2.8% and act like it was your budgeting discipline, not Fed policy, that made you smart.

Let’s not confuse intergenerational strategy with laziness. Or flexibility with failure. If the OP’s setup makes you uncomfortable, maybe ask why—and what it says about the limits of your own imagination.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our primary house in DC will be paid off in 4 years. Our vacation home will be paid off in 5. I love that we'll own our properties outright and can leave them to our children.

Yeah, and I love that my kids go to elite private schools and will not have to worry about cost when picking their college.

While I can see some upsides to owning a home, I really can't imagine wanting a vacation home. My life is too busy and we travel too much to ever make going to a single place worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

I’m not living beyond my means. I don’t have any debt. I wake up everyday and live a good life. My kids are getting an excellent education.

I guess I’m wondering why more people don’t do this and I think the answer is they get trapped in home ownership. In New York people don’t worry about buying, they just take advantage of the opportunities they have.

Not trying to attack - when you say you're "wondering why more people don't to this" - what is the this? Get hundreds of thousands of dollars from your parents for your kids education? Or is it live as renters because it's better than buying a house?

Basically OP is saying they live fine, can’t save for a down payment. Their kids college is ok because of grandparents.

I know many people who rely on parents. We can easily fund our kids but I always tell them that they have to support themselves and families. OP and her family would be the bare minimum I would want my kids to be able to do, basically feed themselves and I will have to pay for my grandchildren’s college. Sigh. That sounds pretty bad actually. Hope my kids do better and able to at least buy a home. We would give them down payment money though. I wouldn’t want them to wait for us to die to buy a house finally in cash.

I dunno, I suppose it depends on how important you think it is to own a home. I think a debt free education for every generation is more worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our primary house in DC will be paid off in 4 years. Our vacation home will be paid off in 5. I love that we'll own our properties outright and can leave them to our children.

Yeah, and I love that my kids go to elite private schools and will not have to worry about cost when picking their college.

While I can see some upsides to owning a home, I really can't imagine wanting a vacation home. My life is too busy and we travel too much to ever make going to a single place worthwhile.

Again...it's still very unclear the purpose of this thread. You clearly created it because you feel "less than". If you could turn back the clock, you would be in a much better position today if you had used the money you don't have to save for college or retirement to purchase a home.

As a PP pointed out, you likely would have received FA at the elite private school because they don't look at home equity...so you would be it would seem much better off if you had purchased a home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did/do you use your expendable cash to buy bitcoin? Did you invest in Apple in 1999? How does your retirement look? How much is in savings? What type of rental are you in? Condo, rowhome, rancher, cape cod, garden apartment, basement, single family, boathouse.

Just curious.

I wouldn't buy Bitcoin with your money, I bought Netflix in 2003, my retirement is pretty good—wife's is a bit fuller, but we max out contributions to 401k. We rent a three bedroom house in upper NW and have savings to cover 18 months rent. Truthfully we are slowly stashing away money for a downpayment, but prices are rising faster than our savings and we prioritize our kid's education and retirement.

And you don’t have to save for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

I’m not living beyond my means. I don’t have any debt. I wake up everyday and live a good life. My kids are getting an excellent education.

I guess I’m wondering why more people don’t do this and I think the answer is they get trapped in home ownership. In New York people don’t worry about buying, they just take advantage of the opportunities they have.

Not trying to attack - when you say you're "wondering why more people don't to this" - what is the this? Get hundreds of thousands of dollars from your parents for your kids education? Or is it live as renters because it's better than buying a house?

Basically OP is saying they live fine, can’t save for a down payment. Their kids college is ok because of grandparents.

I know many people who rely on parents. We can easily fund our kids but I always tell them that they have to support themselves and families. OP and her family would be the bare minimum I would want my kids to be able to do, basically feed themselves and I will have to pay for my grandchildren’s college. Sigh. That sounds pretty bad actually. Hope my kids do better and able to at least buy a home. We would give them down payment money though. I wouldn’t want them to wait for us to die to buy a house finally in cash.

I dunno, I suppose it depends on how important you think it is to own a home. I think a debt free education for every generation is more worth it.

Will you be able to do for your grandkids what your parents are doing for theirs?