44, I don’t own a house but kids are in private and college is paid for…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our primary house in DC will be paid off in 4 years. Our vacation home will be paid off in 5. I love that we'll own our properties outright and can leave them to our children.

Yeah, and I love that my kids go to elite private schools and will not have to worry about cost when picking their college.

While I can see some upsides to owning a home, I really can't imagine wanting a vacation home. My life is too busy and we travel too much to ever make going to a single place worthwhile.

Again...it's still very unclear the purpose of this thread. You clearly created it because you feel "less than". If you could turn back the clock, you would be in a much better position today if you had used the money you don't have to save for college or retirement to purchase a home.

As a PP pointed out, you likely would have received FA at the elite private school because they don't look at home equity...so you would be it would seem much better off if you had purchased a home.

No, he created it because he doesn’t feel less than. He actually feels pretty superior. Though he does admit he is standing on his parents’ shoulders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our primary house in DC will be paid off in 4 years. Our vacation home will be paid off in 5. I love that we'll own our properties outright and can leave them to our children.

Yeah, and I love that my kids go to elite private schools and will not have to worry about cost when picking their college.

While I can see some upsides to owning a home, I really can't imagine wanting a vacation home. My life is too busy and we travel too much to ever make going to a single place worthwhile.

Again...it's still very unclear the purpose of this thread. You clearly created it because you feel "less than". If you could turn back the clock, you would be in a much better position today if you had used the money you don't have to save for college or retirement to purchase a home.

As a PP pointed out, you likely would have received FA at the elite private school because they don't look at home equity...so you would be it would seem much better off if you had purchased a home.

No, he created it because he doesn’t feel less than. He actually feels pretty superior. Though he does admit he is standing on his parents’ shoulders.

As are many people but they chose to help with education not home ownerships.

Also he’s deciding to send his kids to private school not buy a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

I’m not living beyond my means. I don’t have any debt. I wake up everyday and live a good life. My kids are getting an excellent education.

I guess I’m wondering why more people don’t do this and I think the answer is they get trapped in home ownership. In New York people don’t worry about buying, they just take advantage of the opportunities they have.

Not trying to attack - when you say you're "wondering why more people don't to this" - what is the this? Get hundreds of thousands of dollars from your parents for your kids education? Or is it live as renters because it's better than buying a house?

+1 Most people do not have generational wealth that allows grandparents to put "hundreds of thousands of dollars" into accounts for the grandkids.

Moreover, most people are not expecting an inheritance that will allow them to buy outright in the future.

Are you really this sheltered, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are living well beyond your means. I’m not sure what you want here. Most people with two “good careers” can afford a house, including a down payment. You seem very entitled which may be your parents’ “reason.”

I’m not living beyond my means. I don’t have any debt. I wake up everyday and live a good life. My kids are getting an excellent education.

I guess I’m wondering why more people don’t do this and I think the answer is they get trapped in home ownership. In New York people don’t worry about buying, they just take advantage of the opportunities they have.

Not trying to attack - when you say you're "wondering why more people don't to this" - what is the this? Get hundreds of thousands of dollars from your parents for your kids education? Or is it live as renters because it's better than buying a house?

Basically OP is saying they live fine, can’t save for a down payment. Their kids college is ok because of grandparents.

I know many people who rely on parents. We can easily fund our kids but I always tell them that they have to support themselves and families. OP and her family would be the bare minimum I would want my kids to be able to do, basically feed themselves and I will have to pay for my grandchildren’s college. Sigh. That sounds pretty bad actually. Hope my kids do better and able to at least buy a home. We would give them down payment money though. I wouldn’t want them to wait for us to die to buy a house finally in cash.

I dunno, I suppose it depends on how important you think it is to own a home. I think a debt free education for every generation is more worth it.

Will you be able to do for your grandkids what your parents are doing for theirs?

Probably, I pay for my kids private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many nasty people on here.

Home-ownership is NOT the goal in life. If OP is living a nice life, and giving her kids a nice life, it doesn't matter at all whether they rent or own.

Stop it with this idea that renting is for the poors, or that renters aren't making the "right" financial decisions.

- homeowner who knows that it's not all what it's cracked up to be.

I agree although I’d say judgmental people living in such small worlds that they can’t believe there are people out there making different choices.

We’ve owned two homes and sold the last one a few years back. We still have one in middle school so we are committed to this school district. We’re renting and don’t plan on owning again but who knows.

My husband was left 8 figures when his parents died. The kids have low 7 figures in individual trusts. Most of the money will end up with the kids because we live simple lives.

I do think a lot of stupid people think renting = low income. They don’t get to know a lot of people that aren’t just like them. They’re not only nasty, they’re boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many nasty people on here.

Home-ownership is NOT the goal in life. If OP is living a nice life, and giving her kids a nice life, it doesn't matter at all whether they rent or own.

Stop it with this idea that renting is for the poors, or that renters aren't making the "right" financial decisions.

- homeowner who knows that it's not all what it's cracked up to be.

I agree although I’d say judgmental people living in such small worlds that they can’t believe there are people out there making different choices.

We’ve owned two homes and sold the last one a few years back. We still have one in middle school so we are committed to this school district. We’re renting and don’t plan on owning again but who knows.

My husband was left 8 figures when his parents died. The kids have low 7 figures in individual trusts. Most of the money will end up with the kids because we live simple lives.

I do think a lot of stupid people think renting = low income. They don’t get to know a lot of people that aren’t just like them. They’re not only nasty, they’re boring.

With 8 figures you can pay a down payment, OP cannot. Different scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Adding this for broader context — especially for those weighing the long-term tradeoffs of renting vs. owning post-COVID.

There were definitely real financial advantages for homeowners during the pandemic:

🛑 Mortgage Forbearance Programs:
Federally backed loans allowed owners to pause payments for months without penalties, helping many stay afloat during unemployment or health crises.

📈 Equity Gains:
Home values rose sharply from 2020–2022, giving owners passive wealth gains while renters faced rising costs and no return.

💰 Refinancing at Record Lows:
Homeowners locked in sub-3% mortgage rates, lowering long-term costs. Renters had no comparable mechanism for savings.

🏡 Tax & Relief Program Access:
Owners who were self-employed could take advantage of expanded home office deductions and in some cases use home equity or property ownership to secure relief funds or PPP loans.

🔒 Stronger Protections Against Foreclosure:
Homeowners with federally backed loans generally had clearer and longer-lasting foreclosure protections than renters had against eviction.

That said, I was a renter during COVID.

I had just come out of a divorce, was diagnosed with a disability, and wrongfully terminated from my job. It was a perfect storm — and while I didn’t benefit from home equity or refinancing, COVID relief funds and eviction moratoriums gave me critical time and stability during that crisis.

So while the system absolutely favored homeowners in many structural ways, some renters — especially those of us navigating unexpected life events — were helped by the emergency government policies put in place. Life will always throw curveballs, and public policy does affect our pockets; how that will vary depends on the administration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel left out, but out careers are good, our kids are thriving at school and college is covered.

We’ve got a high enough income to afford a big mortgage but the process of saving for the down payment is small.

My parents, for reasons really only clear to them, are appalled at the idea of helping us with a down payment but have dropped several hundred grand into 529s. Our retirement accounts are doing fine and honestly, at some point in the future not 10 years I’ll probably inherit enough to buy an extremely nice house for cash… but it’s weird to think I’ll never have a 30 year mortgage (whether I inherit or not).

I feel a little sad for you that you did not get the chance to feel the accomplishment of saving for the closing costs for a home and will be robbed of the satisfaction watching your mortgage principal go down or be able to celebrate paying off your mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel left out, but out careers are good, our kids are thriving at school and college is covered.

We’ve got a high enough income to afford a big mortgage but the process of saving for the down payment is small.

My parents, for reasons really only clear to them, are appalled at the idea of helping us with a down payment but have dropped several hundred grand into 529s. Our retirement accounts are doing fine and honestly, at some point in the future not 10 years I’ll probably inherit enough to buy an extremely nice house for cash… but it’s weird to think I’ll never have a 30 year mortgage (whether I inherit or not).

You sound like a total a$$hole and a leach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did/do you use your expendable cash to buy bitcoin? Did you invest in Apple in 1999? How does your retirement look? How much is in savings? What type of rental are you in? Condo, rowhome, rancher, cape cod, garden apartment, basement, single family, boathouse.

Just curious.

I wouldn't buy Bitcoin with your money, I bought Netflix in 2003, my retirement is pretty good—wife's is a bit fuller, but we max out contributions to 401k. We rent a three bedroom house in upper NW and have savings to cover 18 months rent. Truthfully we are slowly stashing away money for a downpayment, but prices are rising faster than our savings and we prioritize our kid's education and retirement.

The obvious reason that you can do this without worrying is because you will inherit a house eventually (you believe).

Most people buy earlier so that they can pay off their mortgage before they retire, so they don't have that burden when they don't have an income anymore.

That's "why most people don't do this."

Tbh we could -- both my husband and I will likely inherit a house each and a bunch of money eventually. But it sounds deeply stressful to count on that happening. We got very lucky and bought a 4 bedroom house in DC for $400,000, will be paid off in our 50s, and it has a rental unit that we could rent out whenever we need some cash flow.

The inheritances will probably end up going to make our kids lives better, not ours.

[Anonymous]

The cost of private school is enough to afford a mansion or two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP or PP, but it seems entitled to complain that your parents don't help with a down payment when you acknowledge you have good salaries and your parents help with college for your kids. You realize that most people have to save for a down payment and college, right?

I'm not complaining. I'm noting.

And, I know very few people who did not receive some form of assistance from their parents. Hell, my parents got $5k from my grandparents in 1971 for their downpayment. My parents have been extremely generous, but there was never a discussion about in what way--I can't complain (and haven't) that they've already financed by kid's college education in advance, but I think that if 12 years ago, they had given me 1/3 of what they have put into our kid's college accounts, I would own a nice house and would be pretty heftily be paying into a 529. But they didn't.

I'm just commenting on the weirdness of it. When talking to my peers, a lot of them are really stressed about how to pay for college and are unhappy they can't send their kids to private school... but they own homes I can't imagine ever owning. I wonder who, in the end, is better off. I think, financially speaking, they are... but I don't regret prioritizing my kid's education.

Now this is interesting...

I don’t know anyone at the private schools who is a renter who is not on significant FA…like nearly 100%.

On the other hand, I do know homeowners with decent two fed incomes that receive like 60% FA.

OP…you could have had the best of both worlds as I am pretty sure the privates don’t look at home equity for FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not the OP, but the tone in this thread is exhausting.

You all talk like generational wealth is a moral achievement instead of what it is: luck paired with good timing.

The OP said they have no debt, thriving kids, college fully funded, and a stable retirement trajectory. But because they rent and don’t fit your mental picture of “wealth,” it somehow becomes open season?

Homeownership is not a character trait. It’s a financial tool—and like any tool, its usefulness depends on the context. Some of you bought in 2014 or refinanced at 2.8% and act like it was your budgeting discipline, not Fed policy, that made you smart.

Let’s not confuse intergenerational strategy with laziness. Or flexibility with failure. If the OP’s setup makes you uncomfortable, maybe ask why—and what it says about the limits of your own imagination.

Well said (I'm not op). I sometimes wonder about atypical living situations that would be financially beneficial. Financial insecurity breeds creative thinking I guess and you have to have the strength to weather judgements from conventional society. I think this could be an interesting topic if not taken off track.

[Anonymous]

This owning versus buying is very individual. I sold my home end of 2019. When the market crashed in March 2020, I put most of that money into market.
My rental was 30% cheaper and much nicer than my home had been.
I also got 2 months off during covid when no one was looking to move.
The money in the market did 10x+ within 1.5 years.
I went on to sell two more properties, because of my abilities to invest now. Down markets are great.
I was never going to use whatever is on that list of 'benefits' for homeowners. Not even refinancing, because I had 15 year loan and I was 11 years in.
Being able to move when I need or want to and not having maintenance expense, would be an overkill in my case.
I know what it cost my latest landlord to make the place ready for me and there's the A/C that needs fixing. Meanwhile, I get my rent paid by just the fluctuation of the market without losing the number of shares. I may buy one day when it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel left out, but out careers are good, our kids are thriving at school and college is covered.

We’ve got a high enough income to afford a big mortgage but the process of saving for the down payment is small.

My parents, for reasons really only clear to them, are appalled at the idea of helping us with a down payment but have dropped several hundred grand into 529s. Our retirement accounts are doing fine and honestly, at some point in the future not 10 years I’ll probably inherit enough to buy an extremely nice house for cash… but it’s weird to think I’ll never have a 30 year mortgage (whether I inherit or not).

This is why we have ridiculous income inequality in this country. I can't wait for college to no longer provide a wage premium...And that's why college have an incentive to keep raising tuition as well.