Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this with an elementary school kid and I stopped. Also a fed. Too expensive, too time consuming, too hard on the family and my spouse, not worth it. I was also too exhausted to adequately contribute on travel days. So I got a new job closer.

On paper it sounds fine but then you pack a bag on a Tuesday as your kid is getting a fever and all you can do is leave. Trash life.

+1. The only reason I was even considering this was that I thought I wouldn’t be able to get a job in DC if laid off, and my kid is older and I could squeeze it into my non-custody days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did 5 days a week Long Island to Bethesda. Was not to bad. Sunday night wife drive me LIRR then 45 minutes to Penn. At Penn trite to get there 30 minutes early. Then 3.5 hours on regional train DC. Then around 30 minutes on Redline to my apt in Bethesda. Around 5 hours door to door. I do it every Sunday night and return every Friday.

I did not mind. But I was spending 40 hours a month commuting. And cost around $2,500 to $3,000 a month.

But I was amazed on the Sunday in Amtrak Longe in NYC and Amtrak Lounge DC on Friday afternoon I see same people a lot. One guy doing it 20 years.

Reader, his wife was the default parent and hated him so she was glad he did this.

Plenty of ppl will put up if the paycheck is good.
Look at me, I put up with this BS for 6.5 years and he brought home 68k/year 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're aiming to negotiate, I'd negotiate for 1 week a month in office, with the company paying for your hotel/travel (or hotel, at least). I would think M-Th nights gone once per month would be less disruptive than two days once per week.

I did that when I did DC to NYC thing but trouble is company did not want to set a precedent in directly paying costs. They agreed to put an extra 5K in my paycheck at end of month the first year, if I quit before one year I owe it back. After that I pay on my own however if I relocate and buy a home within first two years I get a one time payment of 60K. So was a sign on bonus with stipulations.

I ended up buying a house after four months as did not want to pay rent. I still got the 5k amount as not tied to my housing costs. After one year I put in I relocated. Meaning changed my work address Maryland, put plates on car in Maryland, filed taxes in Maryland for myself and put in for 60K. My family did not move till month 18 of deal.

My wife was like worse case we have a house in Maryland if did not work out. It only became real when she paced up our house of 20 years, sold it, moved kids school.

BTW when I worked in NYC a young guy at work in 20s on Wall Street who lived alone walking distance from office did sublet living room coach to another guy at work who was married with kids doing commute thing. He would come in Monday morning and Leave straight from work on Friday. So he stayed on his sofa bed four nights a week. He also with vacations, sick time, holidays, training, conferences only around 10 months a year. Back then he threw out $1,000 a month for his coach. It worked out well. The young guy was free cash, had place himself every weekend, they do Monday night football, drinks and old guyer throw it on card. They did it a few years.

I had my own place in NYC at time and also single and would gladly jump on deal. I would have taken $500 a month. And my friends at time at IBM had a apt posting website in house. My buddy got two roomates in his Astoria place he worked with. NYC unlike DC this stuff happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just apply. If you get it you can evaluate all options including moving.

FWIW an elementary kid’s education is not a reason to stay put.

+1 I have friends who commute to Boston from DC 3 days a week and other friends who commute to Philly. It's not too bad. (They do have full-time nannies though to help the parent who is at home with the kids every day, but if you have only one kid whose older, it's probably not necessary).

[Anonymous]

btw - Easynest: This app connects travelers looking to share rooms and reduce costs.
Winston Club: This service focuses on matching travelers seeking low-cost luxury hotel rooms with others who don't mind sharing. They emphasize thorough screening for safety.

When in NYC for work I stayed at the NYC Holiday Inn on Wall Street which is mainly all business travelers. You book ahead and get deals around $200-$240 a night. I saw a few middle aged women who were regulars check in with other similar women.

Seems they go to NYC all the time and just need a bed so they book a two queen room and split costs. The websites help. Could be bad but could be great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just apply. If you get it you can evaluate all options including moving.

FWIW an elementary kid’s education is not a reason to stay put.

+1 I have friends who commute to Boston from DC 3 days a week and other friends who commute to Philly. It's not too bad. (They do have full-time nannies though to help the parent who is at home with the kids every day, but if you have only one kid whose older, it's probably not necessary).

Why does a SAHM need a nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just apply. If you get it you can evaluate all options including moving.

FWIW an elementary kid’s education is not a reason to stay put.

+1 I have friends who commute to Boston from DC 3 days a week and other friends who commute to Philly. It's not too bad. (They do have full-time nannies though to help the parent who is at home with the kids every day, but if you have only one kid whose older, it's probably not necessary).

Why does a SAHM need a nanny?

If her DH decides he doesn’t need to participate in the household 3 days/week (and then no doubt is “too tired” to participate even when home) then she needs childcare help. Most women did not sign up to be single mothers. If you think you are going to disappear to your big important job all week and not have to pay for any domestic help because you have a SAHW; think again.

[Anonymous]

I did this for 6 years, leaving Sunday night for NYC and heading back to DC late Thursday or occasionally early afternoon Friday on the Acela. BUT it was all paid for. I think I'd have to make a LOT to pay out of pocket and no matter the finances it is a real grind. Talk about the Sunday Scaries... In OP's case I would think about moving if this is a long term plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just apply. If you get it you can evaluate all options including moving.

FWIW an elementary kid’s education is not a reason to stay put.

+1 I have friends who commute to Boston from DC 3 days a week and other friends who commute to Philly. It's not too bad. (They do have full-time nannies though to help the parent who is at home with the kids every day, but if you have only one kid whose older, it's probably not necessary).

Why does a SAHM need a nanny?

OP said he/she had a spouse with a flexible job, not no job.

If you're referring to the friends I cited, by saying they were "home every day," I didn't mean a full-time SAHP, I just meant a parent who sees their kids on a daily basis (who also have full-time jobs)--and not a SAHM either--one of the friends I know who does this is a woman and her husband works FT from the DMV area while she travels to Philly a few days each week.

[Anonymous]

This is doable and not particularly unusual. Lots of people work in consulting and are gone several days during the week to be on assignment with clients--it works if the other parent is ok with it...just apply and see what happens. If it's a good enough offer, you can move.

[Anonymous]

With the job market being what it is, I would consider it if the pay was worth it.

I'd take a late train and head straight to work, spend one night and then head home the next.

See if you can negotiate an early departure and work on the train.

Look for a room to rent if you don't see a reasonable hotel.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just apply. If you get it you can evaluate all options including moving.

FWIW an elementary kid’s education is not a reason to stay put.

+1 I have friends who commute to Boston from DC 3 days a week and other friends who commute to Philly. It's not too bad. (They do have full-time nannies though to help the parent who is at home with the kids every day, but if you have only one kid whose older, it's probably not necessary).

Why does a SAHM need a nanny?

Everyone has stuff they don’t need.