Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?

[Anonymous]

I’m not a super commuter, but I was definitely considering this if I lost my Fed job. I was assuming I would have to look outside of DC but not move my kid (due to disruption and custody). So my plan was to do my non-custody days in NY and make up for the exhausting travel by WFH the other days. it really only would have worked if the job was willing to cap it at 2 days in the office and be very routine (ie not expect me to come in a different day on short notice). 3 days would have been the limit where I might have started to try to figure out a plan B.

You also of course have to factor in the expense of the train and where you are staying in NYC overnight. I was planning to rotate between friends, relatives and hotel so I would only have to pay for a hotel 1-2/month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar situation: laid off in DMV and got a good job offer in NYC. We had an elementary school kid and my spouse can WFH. We chose to move to NYC instead of “super commute”. Together we now make about 500K, and I’d say it’s about equal (excepting the fact you have to get used to a small apartment with no yard and owning a place is not as important in NYC) to living on 250K in DMV.

I like our small apartment on Roosevelt Island now and the kid loves public school. Another benefit is that if you are laid off again, there are many more job opportunities in NYC. The increased job opportunities also make “job hopping” to get a better salary somewhat easier, as there were fewer opportunities in the DMV in my field.

This is actually my dream to live on Roosevelt Island! How cool. what is your MS/HS plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.

It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.

As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.

To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.

Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.

And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.

Happy to answer any questions you have.

So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all — I’ll apply and I guess negotiate logistics if I even get offered the position (which is still a long shot). To respond to some folks, I really can’t see living in an apartment in NYC and the public schools in NYC are awful. My kid is gifted (per the WISC) and needs challenge. She’s established with the RSM here and her piano teacher and now the CES. I dont want to disrupt that if I don’t absolutely have to

Do you not think there are gifted kids in NYC public schools …?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay this is cart before horse but I’m debating if it even makes sense to apply for this job.

I have a house in Bethesda with a kid in elementary who just got into the CES program. I really don’t want to disrupt her education or sell my house. But, I’m facing unemployment soon (federal fallout) and looking. A job just came up that is a good fit for my experience and what I’m hoping to do next. Problem is it’s hybrid in NYC with 2-3 days expected in the office.

Assume that I have a spouse who has a flexible job and could manage without me one night a week and assume I can negotiate for two consecutive days in office. How awful would it be for me to plan to take the early Amtrak on say a Tuesday, stay the night somewhere, and come home late on Wednesday? Anyone else do that? I know expense plays a role here… so I’m wondering:

If you do this type of commute, where do you stay? Are there hotels that will give you a discount if you stay once a week?

Amtrak I know if you book super early can be affordable…

Before I apply for this or anything else in NY I want to decide if this is something I’m willing to do….

I know an MD at an investment bank who makes this commute from Philly. Two kids in ES and a stay at home spouse. They drive in. It’s really tough, especially if you’re the mom.

That makes no sense. Why not move to Philly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay this is cart before horse but I’m debating if it even makes sense to apply for this job.

I have a house in Bethesda with a kid in elementary who just got into the CES program. I really don’t want to disrupt her education or sell my house. But, I’m facing unemployment soon (federal fallout) and looking. A job just came up that is a good fit for my experience and what I’m hoping to do next. Problem is it’s hybrid in NYC with 2-3 days expected in the office.

Assume that I have a spouse who has a flexible job and could manage without me one night a week and assume I can negotiate for two consecutive days in office. How awful would it be for me to plan to take the early Amtrak on say a Tuesday, stay the night somewhere, and come home late on Wednesday? Anyone else do that? I know expense plays a role here… so I’m wondering:

If you do this type of commute, where do you stay? Are there hotels that will give you a discount if you stay once a week?

Amtrak I know if you book super early can be affordable…

Before I apply for this or anything else in NY I want to decide if this is something I’m willing to do….

I know an MD at an investment bank who makes this commute from Philly. Two kids in ES and a stay at home spouse. They drive in. It’s really tough, especially if you’re the mom.

That makes no sense. Why not move to Philly?

because they have the option not to?

people like me who never had abundant opportunities at work will have to jump at the first opportunity, no questions asked. :D

[Anonymous]

I would do this with a high school kid whose life you didn’t want to disrupt, but for a young kid, why not just move to NYC area? Public schools are so much better!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay this is cart before horse but I’m debating if it even makes sense to apply for this job.

I have a house in Bethesda with a kid in elementary who just got into the CES program. I really don’t want to disrupt her education or sell my house. But, I’m facing unemployment soon (federal fallout) and looking. A job just came up that is a good fit for my experience and what I’m hoping to do next. Problem is it’s hybrid in NYC with 2-3 days expected in the office.

Assume that I have a spouse who has a flexible job and could manage without me one night a week and assume I can negotiate for two consecutive days in office. How awful would it be for me to plan to take the early Amtrak on say a Tuesday, stay the night somewhere, and come home late on Wednesday? Anyone else do that? I know expense plays a role here… so I’m wondering:

If you do this type of commute, where do you stay? Are there hotels that will give you a discount if you stay once a week?

Amtrak I know if you book super early can be affordable…

Before I apply for this or anything else in NY I want to decide if this is something I’m willing to do….

I know an MD at an investment bank who makes this commute from Philly. Two kids in ES and a stay at home spouse. They drive in. It’s really tough, especially if you’re the mom.

That makes no sense. Why not move to Philly?

I think they are saying the MD lives in Philly and commutes to NY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.

It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.

As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.

To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.

Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.

And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.

Happy to answer any questions you have.

So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.

+1. This sounds awful. So wake up at 3:30, leave at 4:30 to drive to train station for a 5 a.m. train and get in to NYC at 9 plus 15 minute commite to the office. Probably work a longer day the first day to cut out at 2:30 the second day. Get to the train station at 2:45 and get into DC at 6:45 plus 30 minutes drive home so home at 7:15. You have 2:15 minutes to eat and see your family if you want to get 6 hours of sleep before doing that all over again every day.

[Anonymous]

^edit: it looks like that PP commuted every day not 2 times a week? I cant tell but if they did this schedule every day that sucks even more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.

It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.

As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.

To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.

Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.

And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.

Happy to answer any questions you have.

So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.

No, I worked more than full time. I owned a company an ended up needing to open an office in NYC. Typically get there between 8 and 9. I wake up between 330 and 350 everyday without an alarm clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^edit: it looks like that PP commuted every day not 2 times a week? I cant tell but if they did this schedule every day that sucks even more.

It was generally 4 days a week, sometimes 3 or 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.

It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.

As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.

To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.

Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.

And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.

Happy to answer any questions you have.

So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.

+1. This sounds awful. So wake up at 3:30, leave at 4:30 to drive to train station for a 5 a.m. train and get in to NYC at 9 plus 15 minute commite to the office. Probably work a longer day the first day to cut out at 2:30 the second day. Get to the train station at 2:45 and get into DC at 6:45 plus 30 minutes drive home so home at 7:15. You have 2:15 minutes to eat and see your family if you want to get 6 hours of sleep before doing that all over again every day.

The early Acela got in around 745. Office was right across the street from Penn/MSG. I believe the afternoon train got in closer to 6 or 615. I was typically home by 630-645.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.

It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.

As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.

To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.

Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.

And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.

Happy to answer any questions you have.

So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.

+1. This sounds awful. So wake up at 3:30, leave at 4:30 to drive to train station for a 5 a.m. train and get in to NYC at 9 plus 15 minute commite to the office. Probably work a longer day the first day to cut out at 2:30 the second day. Get to the train station at 2:45 and get into DC at 6:45 plus 30 minutes drive home so home at 7:15. You have 2:15 minutes to eat and see your family if you want to get 6 hours of sleep before doing that all over again every day.

The early Acela got in around 745. Office was right across the street from Penn/MSG. I believe the afternoon train got in closer to 6 or 615. I was typically home by 630-645.

I mean it still sucks, you get 3 hours of time to eat and be with your family and that's if you can make it on 6 hours of sleep. If you want 8 hours you only get 1 hour with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay this is cart before horse but I’m debating if it even makes sense to apply for this job.

I have a house in Bethesda with a kid in elementary who just got into the CES program. I really don’t want to disrupt her education or sell my house. But, I’m facing unemployment soon (federal fallout) and looking. A job just came up that is a good fit for my experience and what I’m hoping to do next. Problem is it’s hybrid in NYC with 2-3 days expected in the office.

Assume that I have a spouse who has a flexible job and could manage without me one night a week and assume I can negotiate for two consecutive days in office. How awful would it be for me to plan to take the early Amtrak on say a Tuesday, stay the night somewhere, and come home late on Wednesday? Anyone else do that? I know expense plays a role here… so I’m wondering:

If you do this type of commute, where do you stay? Are there hotels that will give you a discount if you stay once a week?

Amtrak I know if you book super early can be affordable…

Before I apply for this or anything else in NY I want to decide if this is something I’m willing to do….

Sounds insane and not the life I would want