Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?

[Anonymous]

I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.

It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.

As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.

To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.

Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.

And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.

Happy to answer any questions you have.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all — I’ll apply and I guess negotiate logistics if I even get offered the position (which is still a long shot). To respond to some folks, I really can’t see living in an apartment in NYC and the public schools in NYC are awful. My kid is gifted (per the WISC) and needs challenge. She’s established with the RSM here and her piano teacher and now the CES. I dont want to disrupt that if I don’t absolutely have to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay this is cart before horse but I’m debating if it even makes sense to apply for this job.

I have a house in Bethesda with a kid in elementary who just got into the CES program. I really don’t want to disrupt her education or sell my house. But, I’m facing unemployment soon (federal fallout) and looking. A job just came up that is a good fit for my experience and what I’m hoping to do next. Problem is it’s hybrid in NYC with 2-3 days expected in the office.

Assume that I have a spouse who has a flexible job and could manage without me one night a week and assume I can negotiate for two consecutive days in office. How awful would it be for me to plan to take the early Amtrak on say a Tuesday, stay the night somewhere, and come home late on Wednesday? Anyone else do that? I know expense plays a role here… so I’m wondering:

If you do this type of commute, where do you stay? Are there hotels that will give you a discount if you stay once a week?

Amtrak I know if you book super early can be affordable…

Before I apply for this or anything else in NY I want to decide if this is something I’m willing to do….

I know an MD at an investment bank who makes this commute from Philly. Two kids in ES and a stay at home spouse. They drive in. It’s really tough, especially if you’re the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tourist here. Seems like hotels in the Financial District have pretty steady pricing. You might consider rewards point impact.

I have stayed in many average/normal chain hotels. I also lived for 3 months in a hotel in Singapore at corporate expense.

This one is cheap, new, nice and convenient. Hotel Indigo at Trinity Place. Has microwave, mini fridge, 7-11 two blocks away and some cheap breakfast places. IKEA-like cabinetry and fancy bathroom. Subway entrance right across the street.

https://www.ihg.com/hotelindigo/hotels/us/en/new-york/nycwl/hoteldetail

“Cheap”? With taxes it comes out to $300 per night. NP

Well you are in NYC. The reality is that between Amtrak, hotels, takeout, etc you will spend a lot commuting. If you stay two nights at a hotel that avgs $300, get a subway pass or cab, meals, and train you will be lucky if you spend less than $1000/wk. You could try to get a really early train at like 4 or 5 am and then you could get into the office early and only pay for one night, but you’re still looking at $600-700/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all — I’ll apply and I guess negotiate logistics if I even get offered the position (which is still a long shot). To respond to some folks, I really can’t see living in an apartment in NYC and the public schools in NYC are awful. My kid is gifted (per the WISC) and needs challenge. She’s established with the RSM here and her piano teacher and now the CES. I dont want to disrupt that if I don’t absolutely have to

We live in the NY suburbs. There are lots of good school districts in NJ, Westchester, and Fairfield County, CT.

You should really do the math if you get an offer to ensure it makes sense financially and take a hard look at whether your spouse’s flexible job is flexible enough.

[Anonymous]

I have not done this but know someone who has. They had a corporate apartment though which made things easier as it was more affordable.

This is also fairly common (or used to be) among the military. Usually the kids were older but I have known people to do this between DC and Florida, DC and Maine, etc. They will sometimes get a studio or roommate and stay as close to work or the airport as they can to make things easier. And, they all bought airline tickets as far out as possible, 6 months at a time to make it cheaper.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people are saying just move to NYC. Don't discount the possibility of selling your house only to find that you can't move back into your own neighborhood should you want to. I have seen several postings in my neighborhood and on DCUM regretting selling because they decided to return and can't afford the neighborhood anymore or there is just no inventory even if they can afford it. So, if it comes to that, considering renting your house until you are sure you won't return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are saying just move to NYC. Don't discount the possibility of selling your house only to find that you can't move back into your own neighborhood should you want to. I have seen several postings in my neighborhood and on DCUM regretting selling because they decided to return and can't afford the neighborhood anymore or there is just no inventory even if they can afford it. So, if it comes to that, considering renting your house until you are sure you won't return.

The market outside of NY is much stronger, generally speaking. We live in a 1900 sqft 4 bed/2.5 bath house and houses like ours are selling for around $2.1M in our area. A house near us just sold for almost $3.4M and it was less than 2300 sqft. It might be a stretch for OP to buy but she will be in a much stronger financial position if she sells after 5-7 years and wants to move back to DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just apply. If you get it you can evaluate all options including moving.

FWIW an elementary kid’s education is not a reason to stay put.

This. It would be best to move while your kid is in elementary school.

Agree. Your DD is in a good program, but there are many other good programs (Scarsdale, Bronxville, Rye in NY; Westport, Ridgefield, Greenwich, Darien, New Caanan in CT; and Princeton and Ridgefield in NJ…Probably missing a bunch). A piano teacher is definitely not a reason to stay…Moving when your child is young is much easier for you and them then moving when they are older.

If this all moves forward you should be realistic about the fact you are not planning on moving too, so no one is under the impression it’s a temporary thing. But also be prepared to miss a lot of meetings and events and to miss out on promotion opportunities because you’re not in the office.

As someone who did a super commute of my own (2 hours each way 5 days a week) prior to having children, I can say it was brutal for me. As a parent, and granted I have three kids and two are younger than your DD, I would also struggle to be away that much and would worry my spouse or child might resent me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all — I’ll apply and I guess negotiate logistics if I even get offered the position (which is still a long shot). To respond to some folks, I really can’t see living in an apartment in NYC and the public schools in NYC are awful. My kid is gifted (per the WISC) and needs challenge. She’s established with the RSM here and her piano teacher and now the CES. I dont want to disrupt that if I don’t absolutely have to

Some of the NYC suburbs have the best schools in the country. I don’t think Montgomery county schools are worth a super commute.

[Anonymous]

I was super commuter for 2 years (DC to NYC). I only had to be in the office 2 days per week. I honestly used Groupon a lot and booked super cheap hotels that way. It was much easier than commuting back. That and using up cc points for hotels, but I only did that a few times because honestly, the nicer hotels were not THAT much nicer than the Groupon hotels but the rooms were THAT much more expensive than the Groupon hotels in terms of points used.

[Anonymous]

There's rsm in NY too. And good music teachers/schools (julliard pre college for example). And good public schools, both in the city (stuy, bronx science, to name a few) and suburbs. So it's cool if you don't want to move but you aren't going to endear yourself to coworkers if you assume or imply they are all dummies who are shortchanging their kids.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much of a raise you are getting. Half of our senior leadership team commute from FL/DC/Boston/PA. I know some of them share a rental with a fellow colleague but don't know how much they negotiated for.

Some big rentals companies in LIC rents out single rooms (you share the whole apartment / kitchen with random strangers). I applied for one but end up going with a sublet in midtown from a nice young lady and used her household stuff.

DMV is nice enough to second guess every choice you make. But once we made the leap we moved on with our even nicer lives now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all — I’ll apply and I guess negotiate logistics if I even get offered the position (which is still a long shot). To respond to some folks, I really can’t see living in an apartment in NYC and the public schools in NYC are awful. My kid is gifted (per the WISC) and needs challenge. She’s established with the RSM here and her piano teacher and now the CES. I dont want to disrupt that if I don’t absolutely have to

I mean, who would have known the entire ti-state area doesn't have enough good piano teachers and RSM?

We have education consultants like these, they can design enrichment programs and supplement courses to meet her unique needs.

http://www.lexiconacademics.com

[Anonymous]

I did quarterly commuting to NYC and it was a PITA. More than half the time the Accela was majorly delayed. I can't imagine dealing with that on a weekly basis. You'd probably never be on time for work. So for 2 days you'd go up Monday PM, work Tuesday / Wednesday and get home past 11pm? That's assuming there isn't an important meeting purposefully scheduled on Fridays or Mondays.

I hate the hybrid policies. It tempts people to do commutes like this. I doubt you'll last 6 months without