Law firm, working moms, 1900-1950 hrs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1950 is very easy and doable. I’ve been doing 2400 on average and had a baby several years ago. Still get to spend 6:30am-8:30am and 5:30-8:30pm with child on weekdays (I pick up work again after 8:30pm as needed, maybe 2-3x/week), and usually work 2 hours on Sat and Sunday each. About once a month I put in an extra 6 hours of super focused work time on a late night or weekend to clear my to do list. My husband does all the laundry, cooking on the weekdays, and dishes unless I’m having a very light day. I do 20-30 mins of cleaning a day to keep the house tidy and cover what my husband hasn’t. We have a housekeeper come every other week.

Whether this is possible depends on who you’re working with. Are you in a group that will have a lot of random urgent requests come in at all times of day/weekends/etc? That will be a tougher adjustment.

Early retired Biglaw partner here. I'm sorry, but this is total BS. 2400 billable hours a year is a LOT of hours. It's 46.2 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. Factoring in nonbillable hours, commuting time (most firms have been RTO for a while now), and you're easily at 60 hours a week 52 weeks a year.

I had access to the billable hours at my well known DC law firm as a partner. If you were averaging 2400 hours a year as a lawyer at my firm -- whether associate or partner -- you were a very high biller. I also have to say, at the risk of sounding sexist, that I never knew of a woman lawyer with young children at home who billed at that level, ever. Fathers with young children at home? Yes, sure. Not fair, I know, but reality. The women I knew who worked at that pace either weren't married or didn't have kids. They certainly didn't have young kids.

2400 hours a year also wasn't expected of the lawyers in my firm, far from it, so long as the quality of the work was good. It's also just about at the point where you have to wonder how, shall we say, legitimate the billed hours are you're recording that number on a consistent basis as this poster claims to be. In my nearly 3 decades with Biglaw (associate, counsel, and partner) I can recall billing 2400 hours just one year in my entire career, and that year was a killer -- months away from home at a trial.

Bottom line: whether knowingly or not, this poster is not being truthful, if not to OP then to either her firm or herself.

Key differentiators for me: I am WFH as my firm has no FaceTime requirement; my husband is very involved and supportive — so what you say about men with kids being able to do this is possible for me. I’m in a very busy practice group, so there’s just no downtime when it comes to billables. The math works out pretty easily per my last post, even not counting high billing days like trial + work travel (depos/hearings, where I work pretty much every minute I’m awake to maximize the time away from kids).

ok . . . so you're not in Biglaw then? I'm not aware of any Biglaw firm that currently allows 100 percent WFH. And if you're not Biglaw, how relevant is your experience/situation when it comes to OP? Clearly, the typical Biglaw firm has different and more complicated requirements -- billable, non-billable, facetime expectations, etc. -- than yours. OP is not going to get anywhere in her law firm not showing her face at work . . .

My firm is V20. OP is not trying to work 2400, I’m sure the extra 450 hours can account for commute time. I’m just letting her know that it’s not that bad and she can definitely do it with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1950 is very easy and doable. I’ve been doing 2400 on average and had a baby several years ago. Still get to spend 6:30am-8:30am and 5:30-8:30pm with child on weekdays (I pick up work again after 8:30pm as needed, maybe 2-3x/week), and usually work 2 hours on Sat and Sunday each. About once a month I put in an extra 6 hours of super focused work time on a late night or weekend to clear my to do list. My husband does all the laundry, cooking on the weekdays, and dishes unless I’m having a very light day. I do 20-30 mins of cleaning a day to keep the house tidy and cover what my husband hasn’t. We have a housekeeper come every other week.

Whether this is possible depends on who you’re working with. Are you in a group that will have a lot of random urgent requests come in at all times of day/weekends/etc? That will be a tougher adjustment.

Early retired Biglaw partner here. I'm sorry, but this is total BS. 2400 billable hours a year is a LOT of hours. It's 46.2 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. Factoring in nonbillable hours, commuting time (most firms have been RTO for a while now), and you're easily at 60 hours a week 52 weeks a year.

I had access to the billable hours at my well known DC law firm as a partner. If you were averaging 2400 hours a year as a lawyer at my firm -- whether associate or partner -- you were a very high biller. I also have to say, at the risk of sounding sexist, that I never knew of a woman lawyer with young children at home who billed at that level, ever. Fathers with young children at home? Yes, sure. Not fair, I know, but reality. The women I knew who worked at that pace either weren't married or didn't have kids. They certainly didn't have young kids.

2400 hours a year also wasn't expected of the lawyers in my firm, far from it, so long as the quality of the work was good. It's also just about at the point where you have to wonder how, shall we say, legitimate the billed hours are you're recording that number on a consistent basis as this poster claims to be. In my nearly 3 decades with Biglaw (associate, counsel, and partner) I can recall billing 2400 hours just one year in my entire career, and that year was a killer -- months away from home at a trial.

Bottom line: whether knowingly or not, this poster is not being truthful, if not to OP then to either her firm or herself.

Key differentiators for me: I am WFH as my firm has no FaceTime requirement; my husband is very involved and supportive — so what you say about men with kids being able to do this is possible for me. I’m in a very busy practice group, so there’s just no downtime when it comes to billables. The math works out pretty easily per my last post, even not counting high billing days like trial + work travel (depos/hearings, where I work pretty much every minute I’m awake to maximize the time away from kids).

ok . . . so you're not in Biglaw then? I'm not aware of any Biglaw firm that currently allows 100 percent WFH. And if you're not Biglaw, how relevant is your experience/situation when it comes to OP? Clearly, the typical Biglaw firm has different and more complicated requirements -- billable, non-billable, facetime expectations, etc. -- than yours. OP is not going to get anywhere in her law firm not showing her face at work . . .

+1. If you are not biglaw, your rate is lower. It is easier to bill 8 hours a day if your rate is $300/hr than $800/hr.

[Anonymous]

Plus the OP here isn't going to be able to just jump into billing 9 straight hours a day from home coming from an agency? Like maybe if you're experienced in that specific system and don't have other duties. But for OP I think telling her she can jump into it that easily is very poor advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just know that 1900 is seen as the minimum. You won't get pats on the back for consistently doing the minimum.

Right. You won't get credit for wearing only 15 pieces of flair. They want 37.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering moving to a law firm from an agency for a partner-track senior associate position. The portfolio looks fantastic/ideal to me but obviously 1900 billable hours (1950 for bonus) is going to mean changes and sacrifice. I have heard horror stories of course but am just weighing options here…
There are lots of moms who are associates and partners who make it work. For those moms at comparable law firms, what does your daily/weekly schedule look like? What do you have to miss? What are your hacks? How much vacation do you take? I’m thinking I can do this for a few years and then go in-house. My 2 kids are in high school and middle school and my husband works remotely.
Thank you!

Back in 2004 I did 3,000 Billable hours. 1,950 is a joke That is 7.8 hours a day billable. But to do 3,000 hours I took zero days off that year, no lunch breaks worked around 8-8 every day on average, no vacation or sick days and did non billable admin work at night or weekends or before work. I had a 2 and 4 year old when did it. That was crazy however, but got me a big promotion. I was normally just 2,000 hours billable which was pretty easy.

All you need is a supporative spouse which I had and the ability to sleep very little. I have sleeping issues and go to bed around midnight every night and wake up aruond 545 am and fresh as a daisy. I can go on 4-5 hours sleep weeks on end. My spouse needs like 9 hours a night or cant function. Me other other hand can do fine on five hours a night so I have 20 hours extra each week of time.

I think the not sleeping is the wildcard. I could do all nighters in my 30s get home at 5am take a 90 minute power nap, get up, have coffee, shower, new clothes and be on road at 715 am no problem. My spouse it would knock her out for a few days.

It sounds like you're the male partner, and I bet you didn't have kids. Or at least you weren't a mom raising kids when you did that.

He literally says he has a 2 yo and 4 yo. Do not think this zero parenting would fly today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering moving to a law firm from an agency for a partner-track senior associate position. The portfolio looks fantastic/ideal to me but obviously 1900 billable hours (1950 for bonus) is going to mean changes and sacrifice. I have heard horror stories of course but am just weighing options here…
There are lots of moms who are associates and partners who make it work. For those moms at comparable law firms, what does your daily/weekly schedule look like? What do you have to miss? What are your hacks? How much vacation do you take? I’m thinking I can do this for a few years and then go in-house. My 2 kids are in high school and middle school and my husband works remotely.
Thank you!

Back in 2004 I did 3,000 Billable hours. 1,950 is a joke That is 7.8 hours a day billable. But to do 3,000 hours I took zero days off that year, no lunch breaks worked around 8-8 every day on average, no vacation or sick days and did non billable admin work at night or weekends or before work. I had a 2 and 4 year old when did it. That was crazy however, but got me a big promotion. I was normally just 2,000 hours billable which was pretty easy.

All you need is a supporative spouse which I had and the ability to sleep very little. I have sleeping issues and go to bed around midnight every night and wake up aruond 545 am and fresh as a daisy. I can go on 4-5 hours sleep weeks on end. My spouse needs like 9 hours a night or cant function. Me other other hand can do fine on five hours a night so I have 20 hours extra each week of time.

I think the not sleeping is the wildcard. I could do all nighters in my 30s get home at 5am take a 90 minute power nap, get up, have coffee, shower, new clothes and be on road at 715 am no problem. My spouse it would knock her out for a few days.

It sounds like you're the male partner, and I bet you didn't have kids. Or at least you weren't a mom raising kids when you did that.

He literally says he has a 2 yo and 4 yo. Do not think this zero parenting would fly today

When I had a new born and a 2 year old I took 23 business trips in one year. The kids dont need you when they are little. In fact kids usually remember zero under age of four later in life. However, when the third came I took a BS job for a decade. Was nice. I was home for kids. But then I went back to a real job. When kids 13, 16 and 18 I did a job 48 business trips in a single year. Still left me around 165 nights at home. I was very present those 165 nights.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, all, for the insights and advice! After talking to friends at firms, getting into the weeds of logistics with my husband, and harvesting anecdotal data from anonymous strangers on the internet haha—I am leaning towards taking the position. THANKS to so many of you for raising red flags/nuances that I hadn’t initially considered and needed to think through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1950 is very easy and doable. I’ve been doing 2400 on average and had a baby several years ago. Still get to spend 6:30am-8:30am and 5:30-8:30pm with child on weekdays (I pick up work again after 8:30pm as needed, maybe 2-3x/week), and usually work 2 hours on Sat and Sunday each. About once a month I put in an extra 6 hours of super focused work time on a late night or weekend to clear my to do list. My husband does all the laundry, cooking on the weekdays, and dishes unless I’m having a very light day. I do 20-30 mins of cleaning a day to keep the house tidy and cover what my husband hasn’t. We have a housekeeper come every other week.

Whether this is possible depends on who you’re working with. Are you in a group that will have a lot of random urgent requests come in at all times of day/weekends/etc? That will be a tougher adjustment.

Early retired Biglaw partner here. I'm sorry, but this is total BS. 2400 billable hours a year is a LOT of hours. It's 46.2 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. Factoring in nonbillable hours, commuting time (most firms have been RTO for a while now), and you're easily at 60 hours a week 52 weeks a year.

I had access to the billable hours at my well known DC law firm as a partner. If you were averaging 2400 hours a year as a lawyer at my firm -- whether associate or partner -- you were a very high biller. I also have to say, at the risk of sounding sexist, that I never knew of a woman lawyer with young children at home who billed at that level, ever. Fathers with young children at home? Yes, sure. Not fair, I know, but reality. The women I knew who worked at that pace either weren't married or didn't have kids. They certainly didn't have young kids.

2400 hours a year also wasn't expected of the lawyers in my firm, far from it, so long as the quality of the work was good. It's also just about at the point where you have to wonder how, shall we say, legitimate the billed hours are you're recording that number on a consistent basis as this poster claims to be. In my nearly 3 decades with Biglaw (associate, counsel, and partner) I can recall billing 2400 hours just one year in my entire career, and that year was a killer -- months away from home at a trial.

Bottom line: whether knowingly or not, this poster is not being truthful, if not to OP then to either her firm or herself.

Key differentiators for me: I am WFH as my firm has no FaceTime requirement; my husband is very involved and supportive — so what you say about men with kids being able to do this is possible for me. I’m in a very busy practice group, so there’s just no downtime when it comes to billables. The math works out pretty easily per my last post, even not counting high billing days like trial + work travel (depos/hearings, where I work pretty much every minute I’m awake to maximize the time away from kids).

ok . . . so you're not in Biglaw then? I'm not aware of any Biglaw firm that currently allows 100 percent WFH. And if you're not Biglaw, how relevant is your experience/situation when it comes to OP? Clearly, the typical Biglaw firm has different and more complicated requirements -- billable, non-billable, facetime expectations, etc. -- than yours. OP is not going to get anywhere in her law firm not showing her face at work . . .

My firm is V20. OP is not trying to work 2400, I’m sure the extra 450 hours can account for commute time. I’m just letting her know that it’s not that bad and she can definitely do it with kids.

Other than Quinn, there is no V20 firm that I am aware of that allows 100 percent WFH. None. If you're not at Quinn and your firm is allowing you to do that, you are a unicorn. At a minimum it's not something that any V20 firm other than Quinn would allow a new hire to do except under the rarest of circumstances.

Quinn also has a minimum billable hours expectation of 2100+, which is a big trade off for WFH, and since OP says her firm want 1900 she's pretty clearly not going to Quinn.

Finally, earlier you said that you never take your full four week vacation because you're always so busy and regimented. Yet, as soon as it's pointed out that these are working hours on the East Coast you're miraculously on vacation!

You don't pass the smell test, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1950 is very easy and doable. I’ve been doing 2400 on average and had a baby several years ago. Still get to spend 6:30am-8:30am and 5:30-8:30pm with child on weekdays (I pick up work again after 8:30pm as needed, maybe 2-3x/week), and usually work 2 hours on Sat and Sunday each. About once a month I put in an extra 6 hours of super focused work time on a late night or weekend to clear my to do list. My husband does all the laundry, cooking on the weekdays, and dishes unless I’m having a very light day. I do 20-30 mins of cleaning a day to keep the house tidy and cover what my husband hasn’t. We have a housekeeper come every other week.

Whether this is possible depends on who you’re working with. Are you in a group that will have a lot of random urgent requests come in at all times of day/weekends/etc? That will be a tougher adjustment.

Early retired Biglaw partner here. I'm sorry, but this is total BS. 2400 billable hours a year is a LOT of hours. It's 46.2 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. Factoring in nonbillable hours, commuting time (most firms have been RTO for a while now), and you're easily at 60 hours a week 52 weeks a year.

I had access to the billable hours at my well known DC law firm as a partner. If you were averaging 2400 hours a year as a lawyer at my firm -- whether associate or partner -- you were a very high biller. I also have to say, at the risk of sounding sexist, that I never knew of a woman lawyer with young children at home who billed at that level, ever. Fathers with young children at home? Yes, sure. Not fair, I know, but reality. The women I knew who worked at that pace either weren't married or didn't have kids. They certainly didn't have young kids.

2400 hours a year also wasn't expected of the lawyers in my firm, far from it, so long as the quality of the work was good. It's also just about at the point where you have to wonder how, shall we say, legitimate the billed hours are you're recording that number on a consistent basis as this poster claims to be. In my nearly 3 decades with Biglaw (associate, counsel, and partner) I can recall billing 2400 hours just one year in my entire career, and that year was a killer -- months away from home at a trial.

Bottom line: whether knowingly or not, this poster is not being truthful, if not to OP then to either her firm or herself.

Key differentiators for me: I am WFH as my firm has no FaceTime requirement; my husband is very involved and supportive — so what you say about men with kids being able to do this is possible for me. I’m in a very busy practice group, so there’s just no downtime when it comes to billables. The math works out pretty easily per my last post, even not counting high billing days like trial + work travel (depos/hearings, where I work pretty much every minute I’m awake to maximize the time away from kids).

ok . . . so you're not in Biglaw then? I'm not aware of any Biglaw firm that currently allows 100 percent WFH. And if you're not Biglaw, how relevant is your experience/situation when it comes to OP? Clearly, the typical Biglaw firm has different and more complicated requirements -- billable, non-billable, facetime expectations, etc. -- than yours. OP is not going to get anywhere in her law firm not showing her face at work . . .

My firm is V20. OP is not trying to work 2400, I’m sure the extra 450 hours can account for commute time. I’m just letting her know that it’s not that bad and she can definitely do it with kids.

Other than Quinn, there is no V20 firm that I am aware of that allows 100 percent WFH. None. If you're not at Quinn and your firm is allowing you to do that, you are a unicorn. At a minimum it's not something that any V20 firm other than Quinn would allow a new hire to do except under the rarest of circumstances.

Quinn also has a minimum billable hours expectation of 2100+, which is a big trade off for WFH, and since OP says her firm want 1900 she's pretty clearly not going to Quinn.

Finally, earlier you said that you never take your full four week vacation because you're always so busy and regimented. Yet, as soon as it's pointed out that these are working hours on the East Coast you're miraculously on vacation!

You don't pass the smell test, sorry.

lol come on, I’m not the one who contradicted themselves. It’s not so crazy that I’m taking a partially working week at the beach in July or that I might take a week off during the holidays and a week off to ski in February. That’s still not 4 full weeks of vacation. I laid out the math even accounting for 4 weeks and no one has provided any legitimate reason for why it doesn’t work.

You on the other hand suddenly do know of at least one v20 biglaw firm that allows WFH, contrary to the previous statement of not knowing a single biglaw firm (regardless of ranking) at all? Seems like you are jumping to conclusions too quickly based on your own experience.

I’m not planning on giving any further identifying information, so maybe I’m at Quinn or maybe you just aren’t aware of or didn’t look hard enough at what flexible work arrangements are available at each V20.

Either way, I’m glad for OP and I wish her luck—it can definitely be doable if she’s working with the right people/group/firm and regardless of how many days she has to be in office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1950 is very easy and doable. I’ve been doing 2400 on average and had a baby several years ago. Still get to spend 6:30am-8:30am and 5:30-8:30pm with child on weekdays (I pick up work again after 8:30pm as needed, maybe 2-3x/week), and usually work 2 hours on Sat and Sunday each. About once a month I put in an extra 6 hours of super focused work time on a late night or weekend to clear my to do list. My husband does all the laundry, cooking on the weekdays, and dishes unless I’m having a very light day. I do 20-30 mins of cleaning a day to keep the house tidy and cover what my husband hasn’t. We have a housekeeper come every other week.

Whether this is possible depends on who you’re working with. Are you in a group that will have a lot of random urgent requests come in at all times of day/weekends/etc? That will be a tougher adjustment.

Early retired Biglaw partner here. I'm sorry, but this is total BS. 2400 billable hours a year is a LOT of hours. It's 46.2 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. Factoring in nonbillable hours, commuting time (most firms have been RTO for a while now), and you're easily at 60 hours a week 52 weeks a year.

I had access to the billable hours at my well known DC law firm as a partner. If you were averaging 2400 hours a year as a lawyer at my firm -- whether associate or partner -- you were a very high biller. I also have to say, at the risk of sounding sexist, that I never knew of a woman lawyer with young children at home who billed at that level, ever. Fathers with young children at home? Yes, sure. Not fair, I know, but reality. The women I knew who worked at that pace either weren't married or didn't have kids. They certainly didn't have young kids.

2400 hours a year also wasn't expected of the lawyers in my firm, far from it, so long as the quality of the work was good. It's also just about at the point where you have to wonder how, shall we say, legitimate the billed hours are you're recording that number on a consistent basis as this poster claims to be. In my nearly 3 decades with Biglaw (associate, counsel, and partner) I can recall billing 2400 hours just one year in my entire career, and that year was a killer -- months away from home at a trial.

Bottom line: whether knowingly or not, this poster is not being truthful, if not to OP then to either her firm or herself.

Key differentiators for me: I am WFH as my firm has no FaceTime requirement; my husband is very involved and supportive — so what you say about men with kids being able to do this is possible for me. I’m in a very busy practice group, so there’s just no downtime when it comes to billables. The math works out pretty easily per my last post, even not counting high billing days like trial + work travel (depos/hearings, where I work pretty much every minute I’m awake to maximize the time away from kids).

ok . . . so you're not in Biglaw then? I'm not aware of any Biglaw firm that currently allows 100 percent WFH. And if you're not Biglaw, how relevant is your experience/situation when it comes to OP? Clearly, the typical Biglaw firm has different and more complicated requirements -- billable, non-billable, facetime expectations, etc. -- than yours. OP is not going to get anywhere in her law firm not showing her face at work . . .

My firm is V20. OP is not trying to work 2400, I’m sure the extra 450 hours can account for commute time. I’m just letting her know that it’s not that bad and she can definitely do it with kids.

Other than Quinn, there is no V20 firm that I am aware of that allows 100 percent WFH. None. If you're not at Quinn and your firm is allowing you to do that, you are a unicorn. At a minimum it's not something that any V20 firm other than Quinn would allow a new hire to do except under the rarest of circumstances.

Quinn also has a minimum billable hours expectation of 2100+, which is a big trade off for WFH, and since OP says her firm want 1900 she's pretty clearly not going to Quinn.

Finally, earlier you said that you never take your full four week vacation because you're always so busy and regimented. Yet, as soon as it's pointed out that these are working hours on the East Coast you're miraculously on vacation!

You don't pass the smell test, sorry.

lol come on, I’m not the one who contradicted themselves. It’s not so crazy that I’m taking a partially working week at the beach in July or that I might take a week off during the holidays and a week off to ski in February. That’s still not 4 full weeks of vacation. I laid out the math even accounting for 4 weeks and no one has provided any legitimate reason for why it doesn’t work.

You on the other hand suddenly do know of at least one v20 biglaw firm that allows WFH, contrary to the previous statement of not knowing a single biglaw firm (regardless of ranking) at all? Seems like you are jumping to conclusions too quickly based on your own experience.

I’m not planning on giving any further identifying information, so maybe I’m at Quinn or maybe you just aren’t aware of or didn’t look hard enough at what flexible work arrangements are available at each V20.

Either way, I’m glad for OP and I wish her luck—it can definitely be doable if she’s working with the right people/group/firm and regardless of how many days she has to be in office.

Yea, you’re at Quinn!! Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1950 is very easy and doable. I’ve been doing 2400 on average and had a baby several years ago. Still get to spend 6:30am-8:30am and 5:30-8:30pm with child on weekdays (I pick up work again after 8:30pm as needed, maybe 2-3x/week), and usually work 2 hours on Sat and Sunday each. About once a month I put in an extra 6 hours of super focused work time on a late night or weekend to clear my to do list. My husband does all the laundry, cooking on the weekdays, and dishes unless I’m having a very light day. I do 20-30 mins of cleaning a day to keep the house tidy and cover what my husband hasn’t. We have a housekeeper come every other week.

Whether this is possible depends on who you’re working with. Are you in a group that will have a lot of random urgent requests come in at all times of day/weekends/etc? That will be a tougher adjustment.

troll

Or billing BS'er.

Not sure why you think this. I’m billing close to 9hr/day from 8:30-5:30, and then around 6 additional hours every week after 8:30pm if I work 2x/week post kids bedtime. Then 4 hours on the weekend. That’s 55hrs/week of billables. Even if I take 4 weeks of vacation, which I don’t do— that’s 2640 hours a year + the 6hrs per month of extra work time = 2712. Since I’m not billing every minute I’m working, my billables come out closer to 2400, with over 300 hours being non billable.

The math works out pretty easily so why do you think I’m a troll?

If you are billing 9 hrs per day 8:30-5:30 you are fudging your hours. This is terrible, dishonest advice. I hope OP is getting better advice from people in real life.