What do you say to someone who asks about how much money you have saved for retirement?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Is this someone who will have to care for you in your old age if you run out of money?

If not, none of their business and rude to ask. Respond “enough” and leave it there.


In my case I guess I would say "not enough" and leave it there
Anonymous
In my friend group we don’t discuss numbers much but we do discuss common problems like insurance costs, buying cars, dealing with inheritance tax issues, etc. Avoids anything too personal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Depends on who is the someone


Who is OK to ask?


A spouse who has separate accounts is ok to ask. DH and I sometimes ask each other. Anyone else would get "enough" or "I hope I have enough" or "why do you ask? Are you planning to fund me?"
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.


BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.


BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.


If that’s true, then people are secretive for no reason, yes? I don’t think it’s true, though. What people spend doesn’t tell you how much they aren’t spending.
Anonymous
Who on earth would ask this and expect an honest answer, unless they were a spouse, a grown child checking to make sure their parents were ok, or an elderly parent thinking of what to leave to each child.

Outside of that or a professional visit with a planner - "Some, not enough" or "We'll see".
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.


BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.


If that’s true, then people are secretive for no reason, yes? I don’t think it’s true, though. What people spend doesn’t tell you how much they aren’t spending.


I agree. Poor people try to fake wealth by buying expensive things. Rich people don't want people to know what they've got.
Anonymous
“Not nearly enough, I will be working until I am 80.”

I genuinely don’t understand why people are so weird and secretive about money.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We have saved well and have no debts. We don't want our personal info to become gossip.

I used to say “enough”. Now, I say, “I think we have oversaved.”

I don’t give numbers.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
I genuinely don’t understand why people are so weird and secretive about money.


Money as a concept, I agree. Money as a specific number, I disagree.

When/if people know you have money, they treat you differently.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.


BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.


If that’s true, then people are secretive for no reason, yes? I don’t think it’s true, though. What people spend doesn’t tell you how much they aren’t spending.


I agree. Poor people try to fake wealth by buying expensive things. Rich people don't want people to know what they've got.


And vice versa and not at all.

Spending and earning are only loosely related.
Anonymous
I just say I save the maximum every year.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Depends on who is the someone


Who is OK to ask?


A spouse who has separate accounts is ok to ask. DH and I sometimes ask each other. Anyone else would get "enough" or "I hope I have enough" or "why do you ask? Are you planning to fund me?"


Wow, that's one f'ed up conversation to have between DH and DW. What kind of marriage is that??
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.


BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.


What kinds of clothing, choices and lifestyle markers do you think are indications of certain retirement savings amounts?
Anonymous
Nobody has ever asked me that.
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