Are there any other parents like us?

[Anonymous]

I think the problem OP is that the people you describe as potentially your crew exist but they don’t match your politics. They are indeed liberals (white, brown, black, Asian, doesn’t matter) or even leftists (horror!) and that’s why they value public schools, mental health over exterior signs of success and don’t want to educate their kids to value materialism.

They live in the liberal enclaves you suspect.

But you probably won’t vibe on the “deep issues” you like to discuss..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you smoke weed?

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are both doctors and have a lot of friends who are MC and not in the rat race.

You just need to be more discreet about how much money you make. It isn’t great for your kids to grow up with unlimited disposable income anyway.
Also, make more black friends. This is probably easier to do in medicine than law or finance, but my black friends tend to be more cognizant of how privileged their kids are.

I'm Black and kind of understood where OP was going until they got into the anti-woke part. WE don't want to hang around that family either 🤣

+1 🙌🏾

[Anonymous]

OP, we’re UMC, but have friends who run the full gamut, from friends who are multimillionaires to friends who have struggled with homelessness. We meet them at church, on the playground, at the pool, at activities, at the kids’ school and in the doctor’s office. Most of my friends can hold a great conversation, but some have had better luck/made better choices than others. The two metrics aren’t connected in my mind. I’m wondering what vibe you give off, that you’re not connecting with people. Be curious. That’s the first step to connecting with others.

[Anonymous]

I think we’re pretty similar, though I don’t really think about it as much as you do.

My goal is to give my kids a “90s” childhood. They do go to private school but it’s a Jewish day school and it’s really for developing their Jewish identity. Outside of school, we are careful not to overdo it with activities. Right now each of my kids does 2 activities outside of school. We schedule nothing on weekends because that is family time - whether we are home, traveling for the weekend, or visiting grandparents. They only get iPads a couple of times of year when we travel and when the weather is nice, we spend a lot of time outdoors.

TBH elite college admissions nowadays requires so much to stand out -and is such a crapshoot - that I’m much more invested in other priorities. At least for my younger kids. Anxiety is so prevalent and I’m trying to do what I can to just foster curiosity, play, and joy of learning and reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem OP is that the people you describe as potentially your crew exist but they don’t match your politics. They are indeed liberals (white, brown, black, Asian, doesn’t matter) or even leftists (horror!) and that’s why they value public schools, mental health over exterior signs of success and don’t want to educate their kids to value materialism.

They live in the liberal enclaves you suspect.

But you probably won’t vibe on the “deep issues” you like to discuss..

I agree and I think OP may be burying the lede with the "not very liberal" comment. OP being MAGA and wanting to get into "deep issues" would easily explain why they're not making friends with otherwise similarly profiled people. The Liberals are exhausted. It's enough to have to deal with that crap at Thanksgiving, no one is interested in forming deep friendships where they have to recreate that dynamic.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of white people who are not pushing achievement. But they tend to be super pro sport families. Have your kid join a travel sports team!

[Anonymous]

Educated you are not. “ woke” go back to the hole you climbed out of

[Anonymous]

We started in public and our quiet, rule follower DD was getting ignored. The teachers did not know her at all.

We went to private and it was night and day. I want my kids to have a great life too, but I guess our definition of what that means is different.

I was your kids OP. My parents were th rich professionals who sent their kids to public schools for all the reasons you mentioned. My the time highschool came along, the differences between us and the other families were so deep that it was hard to make real friends even for us kids. I was embarrassed of the car my parents drove or the vacations we took.
Given my personal experience and my kids’ needs, I prefer private schools.

[Anonymous]

We come from a somewhat similar background. We started out in a MC neighborhood and probably was in the same boat. Now we live in an affluent neighborhood and send our kids to both public and private school.

DH and I are both Ivy educated and we prioritize education for our children. We are not obsessed with our kids going to HYP. However, we would expect and want them to go to a good college where they would be happy. Most people around us are similar and I would say they all hope their kids will get into a good college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem OP is that the people you describe as potentially your crew exist but they don’t match your politics. They are indeed liberals (white, brown, black, Asian, doesn’t matter) or even leftists (horror!) and that’s why they value public schools, mental health over exterior signs of success and don’t want to educate their kids to value materialism.

They live in the liberal enclaves you suspect.

But you probably won’t vibe on the “deep issues” you like to discuss..

I agree and I think OP may be burying the lede with the "not very liberal" comment. OP being MAGA and wanting to get into "deep issues" would easily explain why they're not making friends with otherwise similarly profiled people. The Liberals are exhausted. It's enough to have to deal with that crap at Thanksgiving, no one is interested in forming deep friendships where they have to recreate that dynamic.

Yep, my sister was a NHS researcher who had her whole facility closed. Our other sister is LGBT. I'm an active person who spends a lot of time reading, hiking, traveling.

But If you think I'm going to voluntarily spend time with people who think destroying my sisters (not to mention medical research, legal norms, and frankly basic human decency) is hunky dory, well, nope. Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

And my kids are not achievement machines. I support them in their interests. They are smart and I do expect top grades.

Any parent with a kid in high school knows the ivy and other T10 schools are highly competitive. My kid has the stats and drive and HE wants to go to one of these top schools.

If your kid is average. You go to any average high school. Your kid is not an achiever. You live in an average neighborhood. Your kid can go to a non competitive college like most kids.

I also feel I don’t really fit in anywhere. I have lots of friends, but no one is exactly like me. We have the high seven figure income but my good friends are not as wealthy. We just act like ourselves and don’t fit in here or there. It is fine. My kids are doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem OP is that the people you describe as potentially your crew exist but they don’t match your politics. They are indeed liberals (white, brown, black, Asian, doesn’t matter) or even leftists (horror!) and that’s why they value public schools, mental health over exterior signs of success and don’t want to educate their kids to value materialism.

They live in the liberal enclaves you suspect.

But you probably won’t vibe on the “deep issues” you like to discuss..

I agree and I think OP may be burying the lede with the "not very liberal" comment. OP being MAGA and wanting to get into "deep issues" would easily explain why they're not making friends with otherwise similarly profiled people. The Liberals are exhausted. It's enough to have to deal with that crap at Thanksgiving, no one is interested in forming deep friendships where they have to recreate that dynamic.

Yep, my sister was a NHS researcher who had her whole facility closed. Our other sister is LGBT. I'm an active person who spends a lot of time reading, hiking, traveling.

But If you think I'm going to voluntarily spend time with people who think destroying my sisters (not to mention medical research, legal norms, and frankly basic human decency) is hunky dory, well, nope. Hard pass.

DP here. Anyone knows you should not talk politics. We are republican. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I sympathize for Gaza and am NOT antisemitic. I am glad DEI is gone. I still dislike Trump, but I did vote for him. I mean the guy got elected to be president so many people are republican. I am not MAGA and do not identify as MAGA.

I am around many very liberal people. I just stay silent when they talk politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem OP is that the people you describe as potentially your crew exist but they don’t match your politics. They are indeed liberals (white, brown, black, Asian, doesn’t matter) or even leftists (horror!) and that’s why they value public schools, mental health over exterior signs of success and don’t want to educate their kids to value materialism.

They live in the liberal enclaves you suspect.

But you probably won’t vibe on the “deep issues” you like to discuss..

I agree and I think OP may be burying the lede with the "not very liberal" comment. OP being MAGA and wanting to get into "deep issues" would easily explain why they're not making friends with otherwise similarly profiled people. The Liberals are exhausted. It's enough to have to deal with that crap at Thanksgiving, no one is interested in forming deep friendships where they have to recreate that dynamic.

Yep, my sister was a NHS researcher who had her whole facility closed. Our other sister is LGBT. I'm an active person who spends a lot of time reading, hiking, traveling.

But If you think I'm going to voluntarily spend time with people who think destroying my sisters (not to mention medical research, legal norms, and frankly basic human decency) is hunky dory, well, nope. Hard pass.

DP here. Anyone knows you should not talk politics. We are republican. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I sympathize for Gaza and am NOT antisemitic. I am glad DEI is gone. I still dislike Trump, but I did vote for him. I mean the guy got elected to be president so many people are republican. I am not MAGA and do not identify as MAGA.

I am around many very liberal people. I just stay silent when they talk politics.

Being able to dismiss what's happening as "politics" shows a lot of ignorance. Because you're basically saying people's mere existence is political.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem OP is that the people you describe as potentially your crew exist but they don’t match your politics. They are indeed liberals (white, brown, black, Asian, doesn’t matter) or even leftists (horror!) and that’s why they value public schools, mental health over exterior signs of success and don’t want to educate their kids to value materialism.

They live in the liberal enclaves you suspect.

But you probably won’t vibe on the “deep issues” you like to discuss..

I agree and I think OP may be burying the lede with the "not very liberal" comment. OP being MAGA and wanting to get into "deep issues" would easily explain why they're not making friends with otherwise similarly profiled people. The Liberals are exhausted. It's enough to have to deal with that crap at Thanksgiving, no one is interested in forming deep friendships where they have to recreate that dynamic.

Yep, my sister was a NHS researcher who had her whole facility closed. Our other sister is LGBT. I'm an active person who spends a lot of time reading, hiking, traveling.

But If you think I'm going to voluntarily spend time with people who think destroying my sisters (not to mention medical research, legal norms, and frankly basic human decency) is hunky dory, well, nope. Hard pass.

DP here. Anyone knows you should not talk politics. We are republican. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I sympathize for Gaza and am NOT antisemitic. I am glad DEI is gone. I still dislike Trump, but I did vote for him. I mean the guy got elected to be president so many people are republican. I am not MAGA and do not identify as MAGA.

I am around many very liberal people. I just stay silent when they talk politics.

You are MAGA if you voted for him. There are so many more issues than the ones in the Middle East.

I can tell you only watch Fox News…