Drinking before college
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Anonymous
| For many parents who don't approve of underage alcohol use (like me), kids still drink when they are out with friends. I know there is experimentation and curiosity. I don't turn a blind eye, and I don't keep my head in the sand. I talk with them every time they go out, about making smart choices. We talk about short and long teem affects of alcohol. Kids don't drink bc they like/aquire the taste. They drink bc they think its cool, to get buzzed, to have fun, to have something to do when they feel self conscious in a social situation. Many grown ups are the same. Its good to be self aware and to coach self awareness. At home, We talk about the 'why' behind drinking and reinforcing the notion that needing alcohol or any substance to have fun/relax is an unhealthy (and often dangerous) crutch. |
Anonymous
Not okay just a realist. Not okay with sex at 16 either but I’m not stopping it. |
Anonymous
I could repeat a lot of what was said here. DC is also an athlete and cares about their body. They think drunk adults or the drunk teens that stumble down or street out of the house of the "cool" parents are idiots. And, no, DC isn't a nerd. You don't *have* to drink and, luckily, some kids are getting that message. |
Anonymous
One was McLean parents. |
Anonymous
| Two random thoughts. First, friend’s kid got a fake and I was astonished at the quality, hologram and all. Parent found it and got rid of it. Second, in some ways kids today seem more health focused, although vaping has been a horrific add after making so much progress on cigarettes. I do wonder if social anxiety and less maturity on that front due to Covid makes drinking more appealing now? |
Anonymous
The kids can get very good fake ids online. Some of them even pass the scanners that some bouncers have. You can confiscate your kids id and they will just go out and get another. |
Anonymous
We’re at a boarding school, but mine is a day study. Plenty of both, don’t think it’s socioeconomic. |
Anonymous
| I don't mind my older teen drinking but I'd rather that she drinks the stuff from our home or the ones we've purchased (not drinks supplied at random HS parties). You just never know these days. She's not a big drinker anyway. Will literally just take little sips of a beer and be okay with it. The biggest rule is absolutely no drinking and driving; or getting in a person's car who has been drinking. She can call me anytime no questions asked. She and all her friends also have Uber apps. She has friends with fake ids and will go to the bars (and have gotten in). That's one thing I won't allow. It's a misdemeanor in MD and why would anyone risk having it go on their record at a time when college applications/acceptances are happening? |
Anonymous
| Speaking of Uber, do you just let them use your account (picking up as parent name) or do you add UberTeen? I prefer to use Black b/c those are professional drivers, but it doesn't seem to be an option for the Teen account. |
Anonymous
I haven't read the research, but I believe this. I did a gap year abroad and drank quite a bit at 18-19. And except for my pregnancy, never really stopped. I have to be pretty vigilant not to over-do it. My HS senior is very anti-alcohol for now, and I'm delighted. The longer she waits, the better it'll be for her. |
Anonymous
With their $500/ month allowance 
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Anonymous
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I think providing alcohol to a bunch of kids just out of high school is nuts. You don’t know these kids. You don’t know their families or their genetic susceptibility to alcohol use disorder, which is highly correlated to age of first use. None of these kids have tolerance or much experience with alcohol and how it affects them. And the liability risk is enormous - enough to destroy the finances of most families if there’s a car crash or injury.
But I don’t think it’s unreasonable to let your own kid have beer or wine at a family dinner, just so they know what it is and what it does. Too often an unaware freshman in college will down an enormous amount of vodka and suffer all the consequences bc they didn’t know better. Parents do need to educate their children about alcohol especially since it remains so prevalent in society. I have two boys in college. One doesn’t drink at all bc he’s a serious athlete and hates the impact of alcohol on his body. And the other might have a couple of beers when he’s out on the weekends, but will never overdo it bc he too hates the recovery and feeling like he’s poisoned himself. Compared to my generation, most college students are much more sensible about alcohol. And there really isn’t much pressure to drink yourself silly these days, at least not at the top 20 schools my kids go to. Getting wasted and being hungover is not the norm anymore. But weed use is way up and parents need to address the risks of that too, especially how it pertains to brain development among adolescents. |
Anonymous
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I work on a college campus and drinking today is very different than in 1992.
In my day, drinking 3-4 nights a week was not uncommon. Drinking to drunk was the MO of maybe 20% of the campus, every single weekend. (It's surprising to go to a reunion and see how many of us quit drinking entirely). There was also a fair amount of coke. Today (and this is not a big southern party school but a T20 northeast school), fake IDs are plentiful - everyone has one - but I bet 1/3rd of the kids never drink or have less than 2 drinks a month. Most are weekend only drinkers and that's 2-4 drinks a night (not drink to drunkness). And a very slim get really drunk regularly.. Maybe 5%. IOW, in my day, most kids got drunk almost most weekends. Now I'd say most kids get drunk 3-4 times a year. Weed and edibles very common, but again, we dont have kids passed out in the yard like we used to. |
Anonymous
They have their own accounts. I dont see it - I could look at their credit card bill, but I only glance. Uber Teen ends at 18 |
Anonymous
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We had allowed them to drink starting at 16 at home with us only for special occasions. DH is from Europe where they are obviously not as strict about drinking at home.
At 17 we let them drink a bit more but only at home. We wanted them to learn their limit while at home. We have had discussions about drinking responsibly. We do NOT ever provide drinks to other teens, nor would want other parents to provide drinks to our teens without us there. We have one kid in college, and they did drink the first year. DC said they did get sick once or twice. Second year, they don't drink as much. Much like everything else, teach your kids about drinking before they go to college. They are going to drink no matter what. My kid is a straight A student from MS to college, a total academic nerd, but still drank. So, don't think your nerdy kid won't drink in college. |