Drinking before college

[Anonymous]

Alcohol is one of the great pleasures of life. I don’t believe that banning 18-21s from drinking is fair, so I have no problem with them having fake I.D.s to subvert unjust laws.

My only rule is absolutely no drinking and driving, and I encourage them to avoid intoxication. I won’t supply slcohol to kids who are not my osn, but nor is it my job to police them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?

Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.

Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our state, people under 21 may legally drink alcohol if they are in a private residence and under the supervision of their parents/guardians. We have included DC in drinking wine with us at meals from time to time; we would never give him drinks before a party.

Possibly true someplace. Definitely not true in VA.

Parents in VA who allowed alcohol to under-21s sometimes are prosecuted - and in at least some cases jail time has resulted.

Does anyone know if the parents who served alcohol to high school students in Arlington before the horrible crash that took the life of a promising young man were charged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?

Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.

Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.

Do you think you’re above the law? Are you teaching your kid to believe they are entitled to choose which laws to follow?

[Anonymous]

I love the hypocrite parents worried about drinking. Back in our day Prom we were clubbing, going to bars in HS. My prom I skipped in NY the after party was in a NYC night club with open bar as drinking age 18 and pretty easy at 16 to go to a bar. Plus kids would co Spring break my HS in Cancun and back then drinking age 16 in Mexico,

Now we are so worried. The kids are fine. Drinking is out of style. It is so 1980s.

Plus in college in a few weeks our HS Seniors will be at keg parties if not mature enough today how will they handle it in a few weeks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the hypocrite parents worried about drinking. Back in our day Prom we were clubbing, going to bars in HS. My prom I skipped in NY the after party was in a NYC night club with open bar as drinking age 18 and pretty easy at 16 to go to a bar. Plus kids would co Spring break my HS in Cancun and back then drinking age 16 in Mexico,

Now we are so worried. The kids are fine. Drinking is out of style. It is so 1980s.

Plus in college in a few weeks our HS Seniors will be at keg parties if not mature enough today how will they handle it in a few weeks

Maybe you did this, but that doesn’t mean everyone did. Imagine if cell phones excited back then, tons of successful adults today would have had lives and careers ruined. We also weren’t talking about sexual assault and consent back then the way we are today. Stop glorifying the past and suggesting something is normal just because you were irresponsible decades ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?

The research is clear: The younger kids are when they start drinking, the higher their risk will be for developing alcohol use disorder.

I wonder if that’s very genetically influenced. My dad is Italian and grew up drinking watered down wine at the dinner table as a kid. He drank a glass of wine with dinner most of his life but never had any issue with alcohol and o don’t think was every drink in his whole life. Lived well into his 90s, no issues with his liver or anything. I drank heavily in college, from age 17 to 21, but barely drink as an adult.

My kids actually don’t drink. I have a Q7 year old that just never does, and a 19 year old that will occasionally have one drink at a college party. I think the 21 age drinking law is stupid though because it has created a massive industry of fake IDs and made law breakers out of the majority of young adults. They should just put breathalyzers on car ignitions instead and jack up punishments for people who avoid those.

My to get back to OP’s question. Anyone who throws a rager for teen kids is crazy. I do know a couple people that have thrown small parties with alcohol for teens but take all keys at the beginning of the night and don’t give them back to morning. I know my older one went to a prom party like that —- about a dozen kids, some alcohol present, but they all stayed over and I don’t think my kid consumed any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never served alcohol.

We knew they had fake ids and we didn’t confiscate them.

We knew they drank at other people’s houses so we provided unlimited Uber.

We discussed what to do in certain dangerous situations… cops arriving, someone is throwing up, etc. don’t drink and swim.

I’d say if you have a kid that won’t drink lean into that but don’t put your head in the sand.

Don’t forget about drugs… kids think they can get high and drive, educate them.

This is us too (parent of 3 college students).

I will never serve other peoples' kids.
I do not confiscate my kids' fake IDs.
I have paid for unlimited Ubers for years.

I have 2 kids who pretty who rarely if ever drink anymore. One especially drank too much one time and that was that. Has sworn off alcohol for the ensuing 3-4 years. The third drinks on occasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?

The research is clear: The younger kids are when they start drinking, the higher their risk will be for developing alcohol use disorder.

+100

My husband’s father died from alcohol-induced cirrhosis. Life-long alcoholic. There is definitely alcohol use disorder tendency.

We never let our kids/teens taste alcohol or give it to them to “prepare them or see how they will react”. We live a block or so from a bar district and my kids grew up watching 20/30 year olds stumble drunk and fall passed out in lawns, saw drunk driving arrests/crashes into signs, etc, As kids they thought it was ridiculous- not glamorous.

I have a college freshmen who is an athlete and doesn’t drink, never has, never wanted to. He’s seen kids in his grade die in drunk driving crashes. He’s very into health and what he puts in his body. He has a thriving social life and a great group of friends.

I also have a rising HS senior, we teach that weed before 21 is highly correlated to developing irreversible psychosis- it’s not 1980s weed. We teach not getting in a car ever with somebody that’s been drinking. So far he’s very into his sport and doesn’t go to parties.

Husband and I were huge drinkers in college/20s/early 30s. I drink a lot less now. Husband could stand to cut back.

The parents worried about their kid’s popularity or “coolness” are the worst. Anyone who gives teens alcohol at a party is a complete idiot. Anyone that knowingly hosts alcohol parties for teens is deserving of jail time when something goes wrong—kids get into accidents, etc

[Anonymous]

^ +1

We never learned to socialize without alcohol. In HS/college, post-college—it was about getting drunk. Every get together was a bar, a brewery, a winery, a block party. It was really hard to give up alcohol because I didn’t even know what to do without it for fun,

I’m so glad my sons don’t need alcohol to have fun or as a crutch. I’m amazed the fun they have without it in college, truly. Granted, they picked non-Greek/non big football schools so alcohol doesn’t permeate everything.

I swear so many of us learned binging behavior and cane out of college with alcohol use disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ +1

We never learned to socialize without alcohol. In HS/college, post-college—it was about getting drunk. Every get together was a bar, a brewery, a winery, a block party. It was really hard to give up alcohol because I didn’t even know what to do without it for fun,

I’m so glad my sons don’t need alcohol to have fun or as a crutch. I’m amazed the fun they have without it in college, truly. Granted, they picked non-Greek/non big football schools so alcohol doesn’t permeate everything.

I swear so many of us learned binging behavior and cane out of college with alcohol use disorders.

+1 And it begins by “turning a blind eye” or “learning how it hits them” at home before college.

[Anonymous]

I will share that some kids who don't drink and think alcohol is 'gross', are the same kids ingesting weed (via vapes, edibles, etc). To me, that is more scary bc of all the unregulated products sold in both legal and unlicensed 'smoke shops'. I live in nyc, and every street stinks, the delivery people are high, professionals walking to work are getting high, as are many teens getting high, on their way to school. Many moms take edibles which their kids swipe. I personally think that is a bigger issue now that marijuana "legal" and normalized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids aren't even in high school yet, but every grad party I've been to for my friends' kids had copious amount of alcohol. The kids were playing beer pong, the girls were sipping Veuve and high noons. I started drinking freshman year of high school, so I don't find this odd, but it would make me nervous as a parent from a liability standpoint.

This is crazy.

My kid is a senior and has been going to grad parties for 3 years. There was only one where kids were allowed alcohol and only 2 where I even say it being served. If I live in a bubble, I'm glad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids aren't even in high school yet, but every grad party I've been to for my friends' kids had copious amount of alcohol. The kids were playing beer pong, the girls were sipping Veuve and high noons. I started drinking freshman year of high school, so I don't find this odd, but it would make me nervous as a parent from a liability standpoint.

Wow. Prom pre parties and grad parties were dry for anyone under 21 in our crowd.

same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our state, people under 21 may legally drink alcohol if they are in a private residence and under the supervision of their parents/guardians. We have included DC in drinking wine with us at meals from time to time; we would never give him drinks before a party.

Possibly true someplace. Definitely not true in VA.

Parents in VA who allowed alcohol to under-21s sometimes are prosecuted - and in at least some cases jail time has resulted.

Does anyone know if the parents who served alcohol to high school students in Arlington before the horrible crash that took the life of a promising young man were charged?

Which time?