What is the issue with my son playing outside shirtless? Is not wearing a shirt outside inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not really want to see any person outside shirtless frankly, and neither do my daughters (their preference). As a mom of 2 daughters, it bugs me that no one bats an eyelid when a boy is shirtless but it would make people Americans uncomfortable if even a very young girl (eg 6-7) was shirtless in public. And I’m not arguing for the solution to be that everyone be allowed to go shirtless. Why is it so wrong to teach all kids to keep their shirts on? It is obviously not impossible if 50% of kids can do it.
I may be an outlier, I know. I also don’t love it when men go shirtless because I’ve had many instances when I’m running where a shirtless man passes me closely and his sweat (that would have been caught by his T-shirt if he was wearing one) hits me in the face. So gross.

Fixed that. It's normal in many countries.

[Anonymous]

It's perfectly fine! But cumulative sun exposure significantly increases his risk of skin cancer, and will give him wrinkles and dark spots later on, so please be mindful of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with prior posters. No one wants to come out and say it but it's low class unless the kids are at the pool or playing shirts or skins. I've lived in 3 different neighborhoods and have never seen boys roaming around shirtless other than the circumstances listed.

+1. It's tacky and low class but go ahead and do it if that's how you roll.

[Anonymous]

Would be odd in a more expensive neighborhood to be playing shirtless and a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So for everyone for whom this is NBD, do your kids regularly wander around inside the house without a shirt? Just curious - my family on both sides were pretty buttoned up so I can’t fathom this happening in any of those households…but it certainly would have helped everyone keep cool!

Yes. And my boys often don't wear pants inside either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So for everyone for whom this is NBD, do your kids regularly wander around inside the house without a shirt? Just curious - my family on both sides were pretty buttoned up so I can’t fathom this happening in any of those households…but it certainly would have helped everyone keep cool!

I had stereotypically trashy neighbors who moved from Florida. Everyone was overweight and dressed inappropriately. All year long the 50 something year old mom and daughters wore too small athletic shorts and belly shirts. The 20 something year old son wore athletic shorts and no shirt all year long. It was bizarre and gross. My pearls were damaged from being clutched so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I counted. 7 Karens on this thread

There are far more than that. Not all of us are speaking up, but yes it's tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn’t want the extra sun exposure for my child. Men who get melanoma often get it on their upper back/shoulders due to going without a shirt.

There is actually no link between melanoma and UV. There is a link between squamous cell and basal cell skin cancer and UV. This is a deadly myth actually. The most deadly melanomas often happen in dark-skinned people in strange places (e.g. inside their vagina, under a nail bed) and it doesn't occur to them that its melanoma until it is way advanced because of the myth of skin cancer = fair skinned people + sun exposure. P.S. Squamous cell and basal cell skin cancer are way less deadly than melanoma


https://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a764https://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a764

I'm not going to pay to read this article but just the way it is introduced says it's not well researched. It is not true that deadly melanomas occur mostly in dark skinned people in weird places. I was diagnosed decades ago and spent a lot of time talking to doctors and any groups who were knowledgeable. I'm going to throw in my useless anecdata that I am very pale and had malignant melanoma on my arm and know 2 very pale women who died from melanoma that was found on their backs. I grew up at the beach and suntanned all the time. My equally pale mother and siblings haven't had any skin cancers. They never suntanned like I did. Yes, I know it's useless anecdata but...

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty strict on rules and I don’t care at all about boys or men being shirtless at home. I grew up with sisters and my dad wasn’t shirtless. Dh however loves to be shirtless and I got used to it. He loves to mow the lawn shirtless. He’s an avid runner and likes to run shirtless (nipple chafe otherwise).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So for everyone for whom this is NBD, do your kids regularly wander around inside the house without a shirt? Just curious - my family on both sides were pretty buttoned up so I can’t fathom this happening in any of those households…but it certainly would have helped everyone keep cool!

I had stereotypically trashy neighbors who moved from Florida. Everyone was overweight and dressed inappropriately. All year long the 50 something year old mom and daughters wore too small athletic shorts and belly shirts. The 20 something year old son wore athletic shorts and no shirt all year long. It was bizarre and gross. My pearls were damaged from being clutched so hard.

Not to body shame but rule #1 with being shirtless (other than to swim) is that you need to be in shape. No one wants to see a beer gut.

[Anonymous]

Sunscreen.

[Anonymous]

I think it can be a red flag for a trashy family. If you don't care or if your family is otherwise classy enough, I wouldn't worry. But your husband probably just doesn't want to project that and cares more about it than you do. I get it- my husband cares more about image than I do and you do have to choose your battles to fight.

[Anonymous]

I can see if it’s really hot and the kid are exerting themselves (e.g., playing basketball in the heat). I just don’t get when it’s parent-encouraged (I see kids being sent outside to play barefoot and shirtless).

No shirt, no shoes, no service (i.e., you’re probably not someone I am seeking out as a friend)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hot take: I think boys and men casually not wearing shirts in public (outside of the pool/beach) is peak male privilege. Girls and women simply cannot do the same.

Eh I don’t care about guys being able to take their shirts off. I care about male privilege but about things like glass ceilings.

Everything is connected

[Anonymous]

It’s very low class.