Another Child Left in Car Death - MoCo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

Honestly I think having the thought that it COULD be you makes you safer. I will never take it for granted, particularly those days when I didn't get enough sleep and I'm zonked out.

This is true. The overconfident narcissistic idiots are the biggest risk.

No we’re really not. I managed to raise my kids and never once did I forget them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

Men.

This is exclusively a men problem. Women do not do this, at all, ever.

This was sarcasm? Right? Because

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/nebraska-woman-arrested-death-5-year-old-was-left-alone-car-hours-rcna161549

https://abcnews.go.com/US/mother-arrested-texas-after-baby-dies-hot-car/story?id=113017274

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local-news/i-team-investigates/trial-begins-monday-for-woman-who-left-7-month-old-granddaughter-in-hot-car

https://abc7.com/post/3-year-old-girl-dies-possible-heat-stroke-after-found-car-unconscious-mother-anaheim/15282165/

https://abcnews.go.com/US/charlotte-north-carolina-hot-car-death-charges/story?id=111521929

https://people.com/girl-dies-hot-car-mom-allegedly-says-called-into-work-police-8696615

https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/02/us/new-york-hot-car-child-death-suffolk-county

I agree it's not only men but many of those you posted are not the primary parent. Quite a few foster moms and grandmothers in there. And WTH is that one about an 8 year old. How is an 8 year old trapped in a car???!?

And quite a few were the mothers of these children. I wonder why some women are so invested in believing this could never happen to them or another mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

This can be a very dangerous belief. The brain science is clear that this can happen to the most attentive and loving parents. The right situation and order of events can make this a possibility for almost anyone. Being self-aware enough to realize that it indeed could happen to you might help you put the safeguards in place to reduce the likelihood. By just assuming you could never do this, you might not have the same vigilance. I am a super organized parent but I could still see how in the right scenario, this could be something that tragically could happen to me.

It's almost never the primary/default parent. Almost never.

Correct. That’s why it’s always men doing this. Never women. This is not a parenting problem, this is a men problem. Men simply cannot be trusted around children. None of them. Not even my own sons. Men are either shaking babies to death because they’re mad at them for crying, or forgetting them in a hot car because they had to go play video games or watch pornography, or if the children survive long enough, and have the misfortune of having been born a female in Trump’s American, fathers will start raping their daughters at age 9-10. Men are vile awful creatures.

You’re wrong. Women have accidentally left their children in hot cars.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

Honestly I think having the thought that it COULD be you makes you safer. I will never take it for granted, particularly those days when I didn't get enough sleep and I'm zonked out.

This is true. The overconfident narcissistic idiots are the biggest risk.

No we’re really not. I managed to raise my kids and never once did I forget them.

The overwhelming vast majority people don’t forget their children. Instead of acting arrogant, we say there but for the grace of God go I.

[Anonymous]

The Weingarten piece was incredibly powerful. I was a SAHM and the primary caregiver. I absolutely think this could have happened to me, especially when I was sleep deprived, except I had twins and honestly, I think that helped me avoid a situation like this. The logistics of taking two infants or toddlers out by yourself mean you’re heavily relying on a stroller to go anywhere, and you’re not gonna push an empty stroller without noticing that. My heart breaks for parents who have done this accidentally.

[Anonymous]

I see how it happens.

My kid always feel asleep in the car. One day I dropped off our toddler instead of DH, who normally did. I had a particularly brutal workday ahead and was deep in thought about it. DS was asleep; he was one of those who nodded off as you pulled out of the driveway.

I was passing the exit to his daycare when it dawned me like a lightning bolt that DS was in the car with me.

If the exit sign hadn't caught my eye I would have kept driving. BUT because me son was forward facing at 1 years old, before the laws changed, I would have eventually seen him.

These cases have skyrocket with the extended rear facing seat laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see how it happens.

My kid always feel asleep in the car. One day I dropped off our toddler instead of DH, who normally did. I had a particularly brutal workday ahead and was deep in thought about it. DS was asleep; he was one of those who nodded off as you pulled out of the driveway.

I was passing the exit to his daycare when it dawned me like a lightning bolt that DS was in the car with me.

If the exit sign hadn't caught my eye I would have kept driving. BUT because me son was forward facing at 1 years old, before the laws changed, I would have eventually seen him.

These cases have skyrocket with the extended rear facing seat laws.

Yes, but extended rear facing has saved many more lives in car accidents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

I'm in this camp. I can't understand how you forget a kid, but I can 100% see my husband doing this (my kids are teens) if he was in charge of pick up/drop off. He has ADHD and gets very distracted.

Same situation here.

Constant worry after I divorced my XH and my youngest was a baby.

You had so little faith in yourself? You were so distraught over losing your husband you thought you’d leave your child in the car and forget?

It's pretty obvious she was worried about her husband forgetting about their infant, but you be your edgy self.

That’s just silly. Why would she think that? Maybe she has anxiety and needs drugs because that is not a normal thought process.

You’ve never been married to a distracted, forgetful person before.

My H routinely leaves the doors to the house wide open overnight (in the middle of winter and we also live in a bad area), leaves the stove on, he got in trouble at work because he both forgot his work laptop in his car AND forgot to lock the car so it got stolen overnight (he has also forgot to shut his car door and I’ll go out in the morning and the door is wide open).

His entire family is like that so he’s no longer allowed to take the kids over to see MIL and FIL unsupervised, they have a pool, and I’ve seen them leave the gate to the pool open, the door to the house open, and everyone wanders off.

You married and procreated with that, lady.

So now it’s women’s fault when their man is too distracted by his phone and OF to pay attention to his own child? SMH.

[Anonymous]

This happens when a schedule is generally deviated from. It's a horrible tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

I'm in this camp. I can't understand how you forget a kid, but I can 100% see my husband doing this (my kids are teens) if he was in charge of pick up/drop off. He has ADHD and gets very distracted.

Same situation here.

Constant worry after I divorced my XH and my youngest was a baby.

You had so little faith in yourself? You were so distraught over losing your husband you thought you’d leave your child in the car and forget?

It's pretty obvious she was worried about her husband forgetting about their infant, but you be your edgy self.

That’s just silly. Why would she think that? Maybe she has anxiety and needs drugs because that is not a normal thought process.

You’ve never been married to a distracted, forgetful person before.

My H routinely leaves the doors to the house wide open overnight (in the middle of winter and we also live in a bad area), leaves the stove on, he got in trouble at work because he both forgot his work laptop in his car AND forgot to lock the car so it got stolen overnight (he has also forgot to shut his car door and I’ll go out in the morning and the door is wide open).

His entire family is like that so he’s no longer allowed to take the kids over to see MIL and FIL unsupervised, they have a pool, and I’ve seen them leave the gate to the pool open, the door to the house open, and everyone wanders off.

You married and procreated with that, lady.

Most of these men don’t show it until after kids.

Part of it is men with ADHD/ autism can mask to a certain degree, and once kids are involved, the effort is too much and they drop it.

Part is also they know their wife is stuck and can’t leave, so why would they care? It’s not as nefarious as “wife will check the car so I can be careless”, but more “wife will handle the house so I can doom scroll on my phone” which makes the ADHD 10x worse.

Most of these guys would be fine if they got rid of the screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

Honestly I think having the thought that it COULD be you makes you safer. I will never take it for granted, particularly those days when I didn't get enough sleep and I'm zonked out.

This is true. The overconfident narcissistic idiots are the biggest risk.

No we’re really not. I managed to raise my kids and never once did I forget them.

I managed to raise my kids and never once was in an accident and yet I used car seats and seatbelts because I realize luck played a role.

[Anonymous]

No one ever forgets until the weather gets warm. We never see this in Winter months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one ever forgets until the weather gets warm. We never see this in Winter months.

Because heat related deaths don’t happen in cold cars. There was, however, a story this past winter about a child dying of hypothermia while sleeping in a vehicle with the rest of the family because they were homeless.

[Anonymous]

I heard they were stoned. Tell me again why weed is harmless?

[Anonymous]

Everyone is so busy. It's truly heartbreaking and I will never judge another parent unless they were drunk or on drugs. How can we prevent this from happening again?