Another Child Left in Car Death - MoCo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

Men.

This is exclusively a men problem. Women do not do this, at all, ever.

This was sarcasm? Right? Because

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/nebraska-woman-arrested-death-5-year-old-was-left-alone-car-hours-rcna161549

https://abcnews.go.com/US/mother-arrested-texas-after-baby-dies-hot-car/story?id=113017274

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local-news/i-team-investigates/trial-begins-monday-for-woman-who-left-7-month-old-granddaughter-in-hot-car

https://abc7.com/post/3-year-old-girl-dies-possible-heat-stroke-after-found-car-unconscious-mother-anaheim/15282165/

https://abcnews.go.com/US/charlotte-north-carolina-hot-car-death-charges/story?id=111521929

https://people.com/girl-dies-hot-car-mom-allegedly-says-called-into-work-police-8696615

https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/02/us/new-york-hot-car-child-death-suffolk-county

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Arizona dad who let his daughter die in the car while getting drunk and playing video games gets to go on vacation to Hawaii ahead of his trial. Nothing about this case makes sense in terms of how he’s been treated.
https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/marana-hot-car-death-dad-charged-can-take-hawaiian-vacation-court-says

That’s crazy. What is up with that wife? If my husband did something that regularly and that stupid I’d be gone before the sun set. And now they’re taking a nice family trip! WHO are these people?

[Anonymous]

I know someone who visits homicide scenes as part of her job and she said one of these was the absolute worst thing she'd ever experienced. And this is someone who regularly visits death scenes. The parent who had forgotten the baby was begging the cops to shoot him.

[Anonymous]

I have forgotten where my young children were. Fortunately, in my case it was the reverse, driving to preschool to pick them up on a day they weren't at preschool. I was on autopilot, ironically because I was planning a kid birthday party in my head. But if I could do that, i could do the reverse. Luckily we made, my kids are all teenagers. But I know this could happen to me. I'm a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

[Anonymous]

Already? Wow - it is not even that hot!!

So, we have had the HS-senior-car-accident death, kid-left-in-car death...only thing left in DMV is - child-drowning-in -pool-while-parent-was-guzzling-beer-poolside death.

As it has been noted - some people hate their children and won't mind if they die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

I hope you are right because the fact that you are putting your pride over your kids’ safety puts them at risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

Honestly I think having the thought that it COULD be you makes you safer. I will never take it for granted, particularly those days when I didn't get enough sleep and I'm zonked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Arizona dad who let his daughter die in the car while getting drunk and playing video games gets to go on vacation to Hawaii ahead of his trial. Nothing about this case makes sense in terms of how he’s been treated.
https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/marana-hot-car-death-dad-charged-can-take-hawaiian-vacation-court-says

That’s crazy. What is up with that wife? If my husband did something that regularly and that stupid I’d be gone before the sun set. And now they’re taking a nice family trip! WHO are these people?

I think she was involved in that murder too, because how can a mother forgive that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

Honestly I think having the thought that it COULD be you makes you safer. I will never take it for granted, particularly those days when I didn't get enough sleep and I'm zonked out.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

It sounds to me like you have not read “Fatal Distraction.” It won Gene Weingarten a Pulitzer. Once you read it, you won’t forget it.

https://mitchellhamline.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2012/01/Fatal-Distraction.pdf

+1
Yes. It could happen to you. That piece is so moving and should be required reading for everyone.

Nope. I am 100% certain it could never happen to me. Ever. You don’t just forget a child.

Honestly I think having the thought that it COULD be you makes you safer. I will never take it for granted, particularly those days when I didn't get enough sleep and I'm zonked out.

+1

+2

I had a whole system when my youngest was a baby and I was back at work. I put my work bag with my work laptop in the back seat of my car right next to his car seat. That way, if I ever forgot to drop him at day care (that is a common thread in the kid forgotten in car deaths … a parent on auto pilot drives straight to work instead of to day care drop off) I would be opening my back door anyway to grab my work bag and would see my baby in his car seat.

Obviously, I never forgot my kid. But after reading that old WaPo story - I can see how it can happen and it’s f***ing scary. The human brain has so many gaps in it that we aren’t even aware of. Most of the time, when this happens, it is an accident. But there are unfortunately times when it has happened deliberately or due to the parent/caregiver being on drugs/drunk. Every case needs to be investigated, but most of the time, it’s a tragic accident.

[Anonymous]

DH and I, would facetime each other and check that the baby has been loaded and offloaded. This was our non-negotiable process. It still is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Already? Wow - it is not even that hot!!

So, we have had the HS-senior-car-accident death, kid-left-in-car death...only thing left in DMV is - child-drowning-in -pool-while-parent-was-guzzling-beer-poolside death.

As it has been noted - some people hate their children and won't mind if they die.

It's been in the 80s a few days already, which is unusual this time of year.

[Anonymous]

I remember seeing a recommendation that preschools or daycare call the parent is a child has not been dropped off on time but I don’t think that ever became standard practice.

The shoe or bag in back is a good system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes home and forgets their kid in the car for several hours?

I have unfortunately done a ton of research about this. It is 99.99% of the time not on purpose. It usually happens when its a different caretaker, different pickup time, etc. You are out of your routine and going on "autopilot". Have you ever driven through a traffic light and not really remembered driving though it? You're on autopilot. Usually the child has fallen asleep or is just quietly occupied not realizing the parent is not coming back. Many cars are being made now with weight sensors that alert you if there is something over 20 lbs in the back seat.

Car manufacturers won’t spend the $$

Of course it could be required, if legislators a cared about children instead of corporate profits.

I recently heard some advice: when you are dropping your kid off, especially if it is not normally your routine…put one shoe in the backseat, so you have to look there.

All humans are capable of mistakes, despite what the haters will now claim.

Most cars already have this. My car dings every time I turn it off and the dash tells me to "check rear seat for passengers." But guess what? It does that every time so my brain just registers that as "that sound my car makes when I turn it off."

I also am of the camp that this would not happen to me, but I was (and still am) the default parent. I always called/texted DH or anyone else who drove my kids to confirm that things went as they should have.

With these stories there is ALWAYS a reason or a tell. It was either:

the non default parent out of routine
a harried over worked person with too many kids and not enough money
a grandparent or nanny

What it never is, is:

The mother (SAH or Working) who is the primary driver/caretaker of the children.