Is this crazy? (Staying in starter home)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a tiny (tiny!) home: five of us. It’s in a fantastic neighborhood and we’d be very stretched to buy a house that we’d like to buy in the neighborhood. We’ve talked about buying a bigger house but I realize that will come with a lot of costs, and I’m considering just staying in our small house. Is this crazy?

Our mortgage is $1600/month, and it’s a 2 bd/1 ba, 1100 square feet. DH and I sleep in the barely converted garage. We make over $300k HHI but have a lot of debt/obligations. We’d have the added benefit of being rural when our kids apply to college (they are 10, 8, and 3).

I frequently say I wish we had a bigger place but the house is really cute. Over time we could properly convert the garage, update the kitchen, maybe add a bathroom - I don’t know. But the idea of having to save a huge down payment/take on a larger mortgage while also saving for retirement/kids college/paying student loans is unappealing.

Thoughts? Is this insane?

You are making $300k and your family of 5 shares 1 bathroom in a tiny 2bd house, and you sleep in the garage?

That sounds like a miserable way to live at that income.

Omg. The American dream is really dead when a family making $300k has to be reduced to living like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in a tiny (tiny!) home: five of us. It’s in a fantastic neighborhood and we’d be very stretched to buy a house that we’d like to buy in the neighborhood. We’ve talked about buying a bigger house but I realize that will come with a lot of costs, and I’m considering just staying in our small house. Is this crazy?

Our mortgage is $1600/month, and it’s a 2 bd/1 ba, 1100 square feet. DH and I sleep in the barely converted garage. We make over $300k HHI but have a lot of debt/obligations. We’d have the added benefit of being rural when our kids apply to college (they are 10, 8, and 3).

I frequently say I wish we had a bigger place but the house is really cute. Over time we could properly convert the garage, update the kitchen, maybe add a bathroom - I don’t know. But the idea of having to save a huge down payment/take on a larger mortgage while also saving for retirement/kids college/paying student loans is unappealing.

Thoughts? Is this insane?

You are making $300k and your family of 5 shares 1 bathroom in a tiny 2bd house, and you sleep in the garage?

That sounds like a miserable way to live at that income.

Omg. The American dream is really dead when a family making $300k has to be reduced to living like this.

300k is two GS-13s with a few years of service and student loan debt. hardly a secure financial position in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wtf are you all spending your money on it your home is 1600 a month, a combined income of 300k.

Student loan debt, daycare, college savings, retirement savings.

[Anonymous]

How are the schools? That seems very important given your kids’ ages.

[Anonymous]

This is not something to crowdsource. If you are happy with the way things are then there is no need to change.
This is not a situation that would be pleasant for my family but I don't see anything wrong with what you have described.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a tiny (tiny!) home: five of us. It’s in a fantastic neighborhood and we’d be very stretched to buy a house that we’d like to buy in the neighborhood. We’ve talked about buying a bigger house but I realize that will come with a lot of costs, and I’m considering just staying in our small house. Is this crazy?

Our mortgage is $1600/month, and it’s a 2 bd/1 ba, 1100 square feet. DH and I sleep in the barely converted garage. We make over $300k HHI but have a lot of debt/obligations. We’d have the added benefit of being rural when our kids apply to college (they are 10, 8, and 3).

I frequently say I wish we had a bigger place but the house is really cute. Over time we could properly convert the garage, update the kitchen, maybe add a bathroom - I don’t know. But the idea of having to save a huge down payment/take on a larger mortgage while also saving for retirement/kids college/paying student loans is unappealing.

Thoughts? Is this insane?

Sounds like a good plan to me!

[Anonymous]

OP, why not build a barn out back for parties? You can do it really cheaply, would be a super fun DIY, and with all the modern heating and cooling solutions, it could be easily used the vast majority of the year!

[Anonymous]

It sounds charming and like a very smart move to stay where you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in a small home (2 bed, 2 bath condo) but I think that's too small because teenagers need some measure of privacy. You can't expect 3 teens to share a bedroom and not resent you for not trying to do better, I'm sorry. My older sister has to share a room with me when she was in a freshman/sophomore in high school and I actually think it ruined our sibling relationship because she resented me so much for it (even though I had no control over the situation).

We do fine with 2 bedrooms because we only have one kid.

I was just running my college kid back to her college dorm after coming home for two nights. She's stressed, so I'll give her some grace for this, but it is not the first time I have heard it: She wishes we had had a bigger house. Even when she comes home, she feels like she can't study in her room or have a private conservation, because our house is too small for there to be any privacy. Ours is about 1700, 3 bedrooms, just 4 of us--2 adults, 2 kids. But it's hard not to be able host family. The kids never invited friends over because there was nowhere for them to hang out. I wanted to renovate an unfinished basement for them, but my husband wouldn't budge, so I am filled with resentment, and I hear it from my kids, too. Just giving you the flip side of the coin here. Sure, we have saved, but at what cost?

I'm the PP with the 1200 sq ft house. When the kids were little, the neighbor kids always came over. We hosted parties in our house and (small backyard). 20-30 people. Now they're young adults and teens, they bring just a few friends. My college kid uses noise canceling headphones if his sister and her friends are too noisy, but if anyone's concentrating for something important like exam review, or taking a work call, etc, everyone else is quiet. It's all part of being respectful and having good manners.

You guys need to stop blaming your lack of space, and work on your social anxiety and social skills instead.

Oh gosh, we're quite social. My kids are smart, mainstream--dare I say, likeable and popular. What a weird take you have on my anecdote. Our house, in fact, was just too small for four sociable, hard-working people. I'll give you the anxiety part--3 of the 4 of us have ADHD and that makes concentrating in a small house where you can hear every breath a little nerve-wracking.

For being “sociable and hard-working” you seem to have little interest in OP’s actual situation. (which is common to people who fancy themselves popular - they don’t actually care about other people’s situations.) OP has debt, college for 3 kids to pay, a modest (for this area) HHI, and is in a neighborhood she likes. An 1100 square foot house is a totally normal size in the real world. Research shows that we adapt to what we believe is going to make a huge difference and then revert to the norm. If OP bought a bigger house chances are in a year there would be no difference in happiness, but a BIG difference for the worse in their finances.

+1000

OP likes where they are. So IMO the solutions should be how best to live with what they have and/or how to "add on to the current home". You get creative to find ways, but being financially sound will provide much more happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in a tiny (tiny!) home: five of us. It’s in a fantastic neighborhood and we’d be very stretched to buy a house that we’d like to buy in the neighborhood. We’ve talked about buying a bigger house but I realize that will come with a lot of costs, and I’m considering just staying in our small house. Is this crazy?

Our mortgage is $1600/month, and it’s a 2 bd/1 ba, 1100 square feet. DH and I sleep in the barely converted garage. We make over $300k HHI but have a lot of debt/obligations. We’d have the added benefit of being rural when our kids apply to college (they are 10, 8, and 3).

I frequently say I wish we had a bigger place but the house is really cute. Over time we could properly convert the garage, update the kitchen, maybe add a bathroom - I don’t know. But the idea of having to save a huge down payment/take on a larger mortgage while also saving for retirement/kids college/paying student loans is unappealing.

Thoughts? Is this insane?

You are making $300k and your family of 5 shares 1 bathroom in a tiny 2bd house, and you sleep in the garage?

That sounds like a miserable way to live at that income.

Omg. The American dream is really dead when a family making $300k has to be reduced to living like this.

300k is two GS-13s with a few years of service and student loan debt. hardly a secure financial position in this area.

Then this area is f*cked up. Don’t you think so? If that’s how a family making 300k is living, how would the average family live on 150k? That’s crazy.
No surprise this country was so desperate for changes that it elected a con-artist.

[Anonymous]

Is the garage attached to the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in a tiny (tiny!) home: five of us. It’s in a fantastic neighborhood and we’d be very stretched to buy a house that we’d like to buy in the neighborhood. We’ve talked about buying a bigger house but I realize that will come with a lot of costs, and I’m considering just staying in our small house. Is this crazy?

Our mortgage is $1600/month, and it’s a 2 bd/1 ba, 1100 square feet. DH and I sleep in the barely converted garage. We make over $300k HHI but have a lot of debt/obligations. We’d have the added benefit of being rural when our kids apply to college (they are 10, 8, and 3).

I frequently say I wish we had a bigger place but the house is really cute. Over time we could properly convert the garage, update the kitchen, maybe add a bathroom - I don’t know. But the idea of having to save a huge down payment/take on a larger mortgage while also saving for retirement/kids college/paying student loans is unappealing.

Thoughts? Is this insane?

You are making $300k and your family of 5 shares 1 bathroom in a tiny 2bd house, and you sleep in the garage?

That sounds like a miserable way to live at that income.

Omg. The American dream is really dead when a family making $300k has to be reduced to living like this.

300k is two GS-13s with a few years of service and student loan debt. hardly a secure financial position in this area.

Then this area is f*cked up. Don’t you think so? If that’s how a family making 300k is living, how would the average family live on 150k? That’s crazy.
No surprise this country was so desperate for changes that it elected a con-artist.

They wouldn’t live in an area with good schools.

[Anonymous]

The only dealbreaker for me would be the one bathroom. I would try figuring out a way to add a half bath/powder room. Also, depending on the sex of your children, all three could share a room for a while. Marsha, Jan, and Cindy did it, and they were fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why not build a barn out back for parties? You can do it really cheaply, would be a super fun DIY, and with all the modern heating and cooling solutions, it could be easily used the vast majority of the year!

This is a great idea-it could have storage and also be a great older kid hangout space. There are a lot of nice sheds/structures out there.

OP, I'd also stay, and make sure you are maximizing all the square footage in your home. Can you finish the garage into the master bed/bath? Is there a useable basement that could be converted? Be super creative-you might find some good solutions.