Had it with my mother’s rude texts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older people have had their hands slapped for sending page long texts. now they are getting their hand slapped for direct, short texts. What do you guys want? (I get the frustration, my MIL sends me eye roll emojis b/c she thinks it means 'let me think about that')

Haha, that's so funny. I wouldn't be offended by these texts, but I'd be annoyed at not getting reimbursed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older people have had their hands slapped for sending page long texts. now they are getting their hand slapped for direct, short texts. What do you guys want? (I get the frustration, my MIL sends me eye roll emojis b/c she thinks it means 'let me think about that')

Haha, that's so funny. I wouldn't be offended by these texts, but I'd be annoyed at not getting reimbursed.

Same. And I’d ask about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom does the same. It’s very annoying. Hearing how common it is, is surprising maybe it’s a generational thing. This is making me thing of a couple things. 1. Is your mom this direct in person? If not then maybe this is just her unfamiliarity with text etiquette 2. My mom has said she’s very old school and prefers a call so when she texts, she’s just firing off messages and not stopping to think about how the tone lands

This is not a generation that ever chatted online via IM, nor do they tend to have text groups with friends. They have not, for the most part, developed a conversational tone/voice in the same way as younger generation have. I don’t think my mom has ever texted me a joke, emoji or conversational message. If she texts me it’s the equivalent of something she’d put on a post it note. And worded as such.

PS yes, there are exceptions to every generalization

Every generation has been taught that the magic words are “please” and “thank you.” It’s enough with the excuses for clearly rude behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our parents think text messages are supposed to be short and quick. Like back in their day when everything was LOL, TMW, BRB. They believe that adding Please, thank you or making texts more like sentences makes them appear old and has been. They are just trying to be "with the times" so have a little grace. Please.

“Call me, please”
“Call me”

It takes no more effort to type, and no more effort to read. One is a request, and one is a command. If you don’t understand that it is rude to command grown adults, you might want to reconsider your behavior.

YOU are choosing to read tone into it. You sound like someone who struggles with ODD.

One is literally a request and the other is literally a command. That’s why we have the words “request” and “command.”

[Anonymous]

Bunch of big babies in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bunch of big babies in this thread.

Yes, the ones who can’t handle that their rude behaviors are being called out or acted on accordingly. If your adult children are distant with you, maybe reflect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are rude?
Mighty sensitive huh?

It’s always the self-centered, rude, takers who accuse others of being sensitive.

If you want someone to call you or buy a gift on your behalf, yes, you do need to say the word “please.”

Want to catch a narcissist out? Watch the difference in their treatment of people when they suddenly become aware that they are being watched by others, or are being filmed.

Yikes. You have issues WAY bigger than texts. Start there.

NP. Someone has experienced narcissistic abuse, and your reaction is a sarcastic “yikes” and the implication that it is somehow their fault, or something to be ashamed of? Therapy is a good thing and those who were raised by narcissists have my compassion.

I stand by my yikes. This person needs therapy stat. And some self reflection.

[Anonymous]

My mom never learned to text, but her voicemail messages were just like the way she'd normally talk to us, all commends and very abrasive. She was great in many ways, but nobody would ever accuse her of having good manners.

So if OP's mother talks to her the way she texts, then OP is fully justified in feeling miffed by her rudeness.

[Anonymous]

OP surely you have other issues with your mother besides a direct text message right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom does the same. It’s very annoying. Hearing how common it is, is surprising maybe it’s a generational thing. This is making me thing of a couple things. 1. Is your mom this direct in person? If not then maybe this is just her unfamiliarity with text etiquette 2. My mom has said she’s very old school and prefers a call so when she texts, she’s just firing off messages and not stopping to think about how the tone lands

This is not a generation that ever chatted online via IM, nor do they tend to have text groups with friends. They have not, for the most part, developed a conversational tone/voice in the same way as younger generation have. I don’t think my mom has ever texted me a joke, emoji or conversational message. If she texts me it’s the equivalent of something she’d put on a post it note. And worded as such.

PS yes, there are exceptions to every generalization

Every generation has been taught that the magic words are “please” and “thank you.” It’s enough with the excuses for clearly rude behavior.

I was taught that actions speak louder than words and blood is thicker than water. I do not recall being taught that every sentence needs a please and thank you. I must be a lost generation

[Anonymous]

Just don’t respond. If she tells you she’s coming over (demanding, not asking), I’d quickly leave the house and not be there when they arrived. How rude to assume you can barge in whenever you want!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are rude?
Mighty sensitive huh?

It’s always the self-centered, rude, takers who accuse others of being sensitive.

If you want someone to call you or buy a gift on your behalf, yes, you do need to say the word “please.”

Want to catch a narcissist out? Watch the difference in their treatment of people when they suddenly become aware that they are being watched by others, or are being filmed.

Yikes. You have issues WAY bigger than texts. Start there.

NP. Someone has experienced narcissistic abuse, and your reaction is a sarcastic “yikes” and the implication that it is somehow their fault, or something to be ashamed of? Therapy is a good thing and those who were raised by narcissists have my compassion.

I stand by my yikes. This person needs therapy stat. And some self reflection.

As someone who comes from massive intergenerational trauma, has benefited from therapy, and often recommends therapy, FFS! Not everything is narcissistic abuse or a therapy issue. Misunderstanding text and tone, especially with different age groups is very common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom does the same. It’s very annoying. Hearing how common it is, is surprising maybe it’s a generational thing. This is making me thing of a couple things. 1. Is your mom this direct in person? If not then maybe this is just her unfamiliarity with text etiquette 2. My mom has said she’s very old school and prefers a call so when she texts, she’s just firing off messages and not stopping to think about how the tone lands

This is not a generation that ever chatted online via IM, nor do they tend to have text groups with friends. They have not, for the most part, developed a conversational tone/voice in the same way as younger generation have. I don’t think my mom has ever texted me a joke, emoji or conversational message. If she texts me it’s the equivalent of something she’d put on a post it note. And worded as such.

PS yes, there are exceptions to every generalization

Every generation has been taught that the magic words are “please” and “thank you.” It’s enough with the excuses for clearly rude behavior.

I was taught that actions speak louder than words and blood is thicker than water. I do not recall being taught that every sentence needs a please and thank you. I must be a lost generation

How funny you don’t know the full phrase and it’s meaning:

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

Which actually means the vow we make in marriage to our spouse is more sacred than loyalty to one’s family of birth.

Now you know!

[Anonymous]

OP, how does she talk to you IRL and on the phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom does the same. It’s very annoying. Hearing how common it is, is surprising maybe it’s a generational thing. This is making me thing of a couple things. 1. Is your mom this direct in person? If not then maybe this is just her unfamiliarity with text etiquette 2. My mom has said she’s very old school and prefers a call so when she texts, she’s just firing off messages and not stopping to think about how the tone lands

This is not a generation that ever chatted online via IM, nor do they tend to have text groups with friends. They have not, for the most part, developed a conversational tone/voice in the same way as younger generation have. I don’t think my mom has ever texted me a joke, emoji or conversational message. If she texts me it’s the equivalent of something she’d put on a post it note. And worded as such.

PS yes, there are exceptions to every generalization

Every generation has been taught that the magic words are “please” and “thank you.” It’s enough with the excuses for clearly rude behavior.

I was taught that actions speak louder than words and blood is thicker than water. I do not recall being taught that every sentence needs a please and thank you. I must be a lost generation

How funny you don’t know the full phrase and it’s meaning:

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

Which actually means the vow we make in marriage to our spouse is more sacred than loyalty to one’s family of birth.

Now you know!

How odd you don’t know how that phrase is used now….