Had it with my mother’s rude texts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just how older people text. As briefly as possible. Dating back to the days they could barely figure out typing on a phone. All of these are identical to texts I’ve received from my mother and it has never seemed rude to me. So, there’s some other reason you’re bothered.

You *might* have a leg to stand on if OP’s mom paid her back for gifts. That’s low. To command someone to buy gifts on your behalf and then not pay them back? Not as a one-off, but consistently? Wow.

Yeah, if someone repeatedly doesn’t pay you back, it’s fine to say no. I’d rather OP do that - just say no! No need to build up resentment.

[Anonymous]

Just reply “No, thank you.”

[Anonymous]

My mom is really bad on text and email. She always sounds confrontational and/or pissed off. I cringe upon reading anything she sends to anyone who's not me. She doesn't mean it that way and I think it's just how she is.

[Anonymous]

These are rude?
Mighty sensitive huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are rude?
Mighty sensitive huh?

It’s always the self-centered, rude, takers who accuse others of being sensitive.

If you want someone to call you or buy a gift on your behalf, yes, you do need to say the word “please.”

Want to catch a narcissist out? Watch the difference in their treatment of people when they suddenly become aware that they are being watched by others, or are being filmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how my immigrant Boomer parents text. But it doesn’t deviate much from their non-text communication style.

I’ll send my mom a few sentences here and there along with some pictures of her grandchildren. Her response “Ok.” She also likes to tell me to “Teach them about God” when I send her a random text.

Cool cool.

I am religious and this made me lol. Sorry your mom does this but it’s a hilarious story!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are rude?
Mighty sensitive huh?

It’s always the self-centered, rude, takers who accuse others of being sensitive.

If you want someone to call you or buy a gift on your behalf, yes, you do need to say the word “please.”

Want to catch a narcissist out? Watch the difference in their treatment of people when they suddenly become aware that they are being watched by others, or are being filmed.

Yikes. You have issues WAY bigger than texts. Start there.

[Anonymous]

I think our parents think text messages are supposed to be short and quick. Like back in their day when everything was LOL, TMW, BRB. They believe that adding Please, thank you or making texts more like sentences makes them appear old and has been. They are just trying to be "with the times" so have a little grace. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't feel so alone. Lol. My mom is the exact same way.

+1
But I'm not bothered by it. She will never change and she's my mom. It doesn't mean you have to comply with the texts. You can verbally reply "I think if you want to get the kids something for Valentines, that's nice and it's between you two" and "I'm happy you and dad are coming over but I can't make dinner at 5. Why dont you get take out on the way over or wait until the rest of us have dinner at 630"

Don't be a doormat, but don't respond rudely either. She's your mom.

[Anonymous]

My mom does the same. It’s very annoying. Hearing how common it is, is surprising maybe it’s a generational thing. This is making me thing of a couple things. 1. Is your mom this direct in person? If not then maybe this is just her unfamiliarity with text etiquette 2. My mom has said she’s very old school and prefers a call so when she texts, she’s just firing off messages and not stopping to think about how the tone lands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom does the same. It’s very annoying. Hearing how common it is, is surprising maybe it’s a generational thing. This is making me thing of a couple things. 1. Is your mom this direct in person? If not then maybe this is just her unfamiliarity with text etiquette 2. My mom has said she’s very old school and prefers a call so when she texts, she’s just firing off messages and not stopping to think about how the tone lands

This is not a generation that ever chatted online via IM, nor do they tend to have text groups with friends. They have not, for the most part, developed a conversational tone/voice in the same way as younger generation have. I don’t think my mom has ever texted me a joke, emoji or conversational message. If she texts me it’s the equivalent of something she’d put on a post it note. And worded as such.

PS yes, there are exceptions to every generalization

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are rude?
Mighty sensitive huh?

It’s always the self-centered, rude, takers who accuse others of being sensitive.

If you want someone to call you or buy a gift on your behalf, yes, you do need to say the word “please.”

Want to catch a narcissist out? Watch the difference in their treatment of people when they suddenly become aware that they are being watched by others, or are being filmed.

Yikes. You have issues WAY bigger than texts. Start there.

NP. Someone has experienced narcissistic abuse, and your reaction is a sarcastic “yikes” and the implication that it is somehow their fault, or something to be ashamed of? Therapy is a good thing and those who were raised by narcissists have my compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think our parents think text messages are supposed to be short and quick. Like back in their day when everything was LOL, TMW, BRB. They believe that adding Please, thank you or making texts more like sentences makes them appear old and has been. They are just trying to be "with the times" so have a little grace. Please.

“Call me, please”
“Call me”

It takes no more effort to type, and no more effort to read. One is a request, and one is a command. If you don’t understand that it is rude to command grown adults, you might want to reconsider your behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think our parents think text messages are supposed to be short and quick. Like back in their day when everything was LOL, TMW, BRB. They believe that adding Please, thank you or making texts more like sentences makes them appear old and has been. They are just trying to be "with the times" so have a little grace. Please.

“Call me, please”
“Call me”

It takes no more effort to type, and no more effort to read. One is a request, and one is a command. If you don’t understand that it is rude to command grown adults, you might want to reconsider your behavior.

YOU are choosing to read tone into it. You sound like someone who struggles with ODD.

[Anonymous]

To the people talking about needing to go to therapy, you know there’s a type of therapy called acceptance and commitment therapy in which you learn to change your behaviors/reactions to things that happen in life. perhaps, if you change your perspective and realize this is just how my mother texts, don’t read any tone or emotion into it, it will be less triggering/bothersome to you.