I got called a f***ing chink yesterday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man who was either homeless and/or has substance abuse issues/mental illness was walking towards me last night on a semi isolated street, in that unsteady halting way. I was trying to walk around him with my head bent down to stay out of his way when he snarled "stop staring at me, you f****ing chink".

I kept walking ahead. For a split second I thought he would turn around and start following me. There were other people ahead of me so I just started walking faster to catch up to them and then I was in an area where there were many more people.

I've been called "chink" by all sorts of people since I was a kid in elementary school. "Go back to your country". [My country? I was born here.]

So it surprises me how much it still stings when someone calls me a chink. It's even hard to write that. That a man who was probably homeless thinks I'm less than him because of my skin color. It shouldn't bother me, after all this time! Right?!

So I'm just trying to get this out of my system. Weirdly I feel ashamed and couldn't even tell anyone IRL that this happened.

Thanks for listening, strangers on an anonymous messaging board.

Weird. That term is multiple decades old and hasn’t been used for many decades. Wonder what that guy’s background is that he’s citing words from the way back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been called a chink a lot. The first time was by these underprivileged children I was mentoring when I was in high school. During that gig, I dropped a stack of quarters on the floor. I forgot why I had them. Just a bunch of loose change that had piled up.

A mom seemed to help pick them up. I was able to thank her, only she kept them. A middle-aged woman kept a 16-year-old’s quarters. I was stunned. In my community, middle-aged women looked after young people.

It felt like there was a barrier between our worlds. I knew I did not want to part through to theirs. I wondered if they wanted to pass through to mine. Mine had safety, healthcare, kindness, greenery.

It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t pass through. But also, since they couldn’t pass through, it felt like their words and actions couldn’t pass through either. I remember feeling not hurt at all. They couldn’t even hurt me. It seemed terribly sad. I still feel sad for those kids.

Handling alurs and bias cannot be boiled downto to "well at least my people group/community is better than theirs and poor things they just don't even know it!"

That’s not what it was at all. It was more like, “wow, there’s a glass barrier between us and nothing is flowing between.”

People can be in the same room and live in different universes.

Societally racism is terrible but as an individual, it hasn’t always hurt. I’m not saying it’s a good or bad thing. Just sharing a different perspective that it’s not always a hierarchy thing.

[Anonymous]

I am Asian & something similar happened to me very recently.

A random stranger in a parking lot was unhappy about how I was parked so he proceeded to tell me to go back to China, then called me a Chinese b____!!?

I was bullied a lot as a child/teenager for being Asian so what this guy did triggered me a lot.
I suddenly felt like that small, vulnerable little kid on the playground who was ashamed of her race because her peers were stretching their eyes to mock me, etc.

It took a few days - but I did get over it.
It helped speaking w/people about it + receiving great feedback and support.

I strongly encourage you to do the same thing.
You should not feel ashamed since you did NOTHING wrong here.

Sorry this happened to you >> I wish you all the best moving forward. 🫶🏽

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man who was either homeless and/or has substance abuse issues/mental illness was walking towards me last night on a semi isolated street, in that unsteady halting way. I was trying to walk around him with my head bent down to stay out of his way when he snarled "stop staring at me, you f****ing chink".

I kept walking ahead. For a split second I thought he would turn around and start following me. There were other people ahead of me so I just started walking faster to catch up to them and then I was in an area where there were many more people.

I've been called "chink" by all sorts of people since I was a kid in elementary school. "Go back to your country". [My country? I was born here.]

So it surprises me how much it still stings when someone calls me a chink. It's even hard to write that. That a man who was probably homeless thinks I'm less than him because of my skin color. It shouldn't bother me, after all this time! Right?!

So I'm just trying to get this out of my system. Weirdly I feel ashamed and couldn't even tell anyone IRL that this happened.

Thanks for listening, strangers on an anonymous messaging board.

Weird. That term is multiple decades old and hasn’t been used for many decades. Wonder what that guy’s background is that he’s citing words from the way back then.

Not OP and I'm a millennial. Wouldn't say that it is decades old but growing up in northeast PA in mid-to-late 2000s during high school, I've been called that a handful of times. My currently elementary school age kids (who are east asian) never encountered that word (I asked), but I know they told me some kids using "ching chong"/phonetically "asian" tones at school. Not sure if they're trying to use it in a derogatory way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm mixed-race and I grew up in a capital city in Europe, so I've gotten used to ignoring both sexual catcalls and all kinds of insults. A homeless guy screaming stuff at me would not faze me in the least.

However, it hurts a lot more when it's a seemingly educated, with-it, sort of person, even more if it's someone close to me. Sadly I've had that that sort of person make racist comments against me, including my own grandmother: I will never forget those.

My own grandfather used to call us slurs and when I asked my grandma what those words meant she would lie about it to spare our feelings. He was mentally ill, stinky and always rambling and screaming. Nobody misses him.

[Anonymous]

Why do mentally ill people - and I also in this the elderly who start losing their faculties - turn to vocal racism?

I've noticed it with family members who are mentally ill (and still young). I've also noticed it with elderly individuals who start spouting some racist nonsense.

It happens among all ethnic groups in my observation, so this isn't a solely white people issue.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. You have nothing to be ashamed of though. I think telling a friend IRL could help, this wasn’t your fault and it reflects poorly only on the person who said it.

His words were those of someone intoxicated or ill. They’re rude and annoying like chewed gum on the ground, but similarly as useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't think you're less than him. He's using a racially appropriate insult. Another person would be a honkey, spic, Jap, n*gg**, or btch.

Would you want to trade places with him? No. So what he says doesn't matter.

I'd be more concerned about the risk of violent.

+1
The appropriate term for him might be bum, red neck, cracker, honky, or douche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do mentally ill people - and I also in this the elderly who start losing their faculties - turn to vocal racism?

I've noticed it with family members who are mentally ill (and still young). I've also noticed it with elderly individuals who start spouting some racist nonsense.

It happens among all ethnic groups in my observation, so this isn't a solely white people issue.

I think it’s because most people are racist to some degree so when they lose their filter, it spews out. And it becomes extra vile if their anxiety, etc is ramped up.

[Anonymous]

A good retort would be At least I’m gainfully employed and not some sack of sh**, Loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good retort would be At least I’m gainfully employed and not some sack of sh**, Loser.

Don't know about you, but I don't have the balls to escalate, let alone with a mentally ill person. It's better to sometimes take the high road, and this would be one those times.

[Anonymous]

I once had a woman approach me and sweetly ask for money for lunch. When o told her I didn’t have any cash on me (which was true), her demeanor immediately changed and she called me all sorts of nasty names.

Maybe he is mentally ill or maybe he’s just a horrible person. Either way I’m sorry you experienced this. I know how hurtful it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good retort would be At least I’m gainfully employed and not some sack of sh**, Loser.

Don't test a mentally ill homeless person with nothing to lose. Not worth the air you breath.

In fact, most people who spew racist garbage in public or try to pick fights in public have NOTHING to lose and NOTHING to live for.

The best revenge is to live well, like Don Draper:

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. A homeless guy screamed "Trump is going to deport your *ss" at me as I entered the Farragut metro last week, so this is what our national discourse has become.

All the other white people around me averted their eyes, but I get it--no one wants to engage and put themselves at risk from a mentally unstable person. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man who was either homeless and/or has substance abuse issues/mental illness was walking towards me last night on a semi isolated street, in that unsteady halting way. I was trying to walk around him with my head bent down to stay out of his way when he snarled "stop staring at me, you f****ing chink".

I kept walking ahead. For a split second I thought he would turn around and start following me. There were other people ahead of me so I just started walking faster to catch up to them and then I was in an area where there were many more people.

I've been called "chink" by all sorts of people since I was a kid in elementary school. "Go back to your country". [My country? I was born here.]

So it surprises me how much it still stings when someone calls me a chink. It's even hard to write that. That a man who was probably homeless thinks I'm less than him because of my skin color. It shouldn't bother me, after all this time! Right?!

So I'm just trying to get this out of my system. Weirdly I feel ashamed and couldn't even tell anyone IRL that this happened.

Thanks for listening, strangers on an anonymous messaging board.

It is upsetting, but bring so so so surprised that these things happen is not going to serve you--Asian people are people just like everyone else and will be subject to human bias at times just like any other group of humans. And no, Asians are not going to be treated like white people in the United States, meaning bring seen as the default Americans. This is not good, but if you are unaware of this you are going to be shocked daily.

DP, and a little off-topic, but the weird thing for me was that in my high school / college / grad school / NYC bubbles, it was really rare to be automatically “othered” or feel like I was being treated differently from anyone else on the daily things. It was kind of a surprise to have to relearn that once I moved to Va.

Anyway OP I’m sorry that happened to you. It must have been especially jarring coming from (1) a man (2) walking towards you (vs seated) and (3) visibly “off,” because those things together alerted your self-protection instincts. And then he came up to you and yelled something that was clearly targeted at you specifically, of course you felt attacked in the moment. It’s also the realization that only he knew in the moment whether he was going to raise a hand to you—to be willing to yell a slur like that means he is already partially unbound by the rules of civility that we all abide by—and the feeling that your appearance, which you cannot change, somehow catalyzed this.

Ignore all the hopeless PPs who are too busy fixating on how your post could be edited for political correctness to offer you a word of compassion. They are using this post to pile on with their own anger, and most of us are seeing how that is very sad and not okay.

Feel better and cocoon yourself with good people if you can. Also talk to someone about it. Next time you’re out with your friends, just share that it happened. You can use a light tone while still mentioning that it hurt and was scary at the time.