I got called a f***ing chink yesterday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This actually happened to DH a few years ago. A homeless man who was visibly impaired (drugs/alcohol and/or severe mental health issues) yelled across the street “you f**king n*****”. It was really rattling for him, too. I think he was surprised at how shaken he was by the encounter given that this man was clearly not of sound mind. I think he also felt uncomfortable or somehow embarrassed talking about the experience afterward.

Anyway, just sharing this to say I’m sorry this man spewed hate at you and I’m sorry people write it off because it’s “just a crazy guy” and I’m sorry victims of this end up the ones feeling ashamed.

All the people who say to shrug it off - that's how we got to this point. The normalization of uncivil public behavior.
On the one hand, yes, ignore the nutcase.
On the other hand, nutcase behavior is enabled.
Isn't there some other thread on here today about how people in this day and age are just plain mean? I feel like these two threads are connected.

I live in NYC and have been practicing the art of ignoring vagrants for several decades. The need to create invisible public boundaries (absolutely NO eye contact, pretend you don't see them, the quick summation of how loony or dangerous a particular walking zombie is) contributes to the dissolution of community. When people celebrate the new addition to the Museum of Natural History, I see the privatization of public space because public space has become so unpredictably unpleasant. There is a corollation (ugh, I can't spell) between the rise of homelessness and secured semi-public spaces sponsored by corporations.

[Anonymous]

just came to say sorry, why do people still want to be racist. It's just silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This actually happened to DH a few years ago. A homeless man who was visibly impaired (drugs/alcohol and/or severe mental health issues) yelled across the street “you f**king n*****”. It was really rattling for him, too. I think he was surprised at how shaken he was by the encounter given that this man was clearly not of sound mind. I think he also felt uncomfortable or somehow embarrassed talking about the experience afterward.

Anyway, just sharing this to say I’m sorry this man spewed hate at you and I’m sorry people write it off because it’s “just a crazy guy” and I’m sorry victims of this end up the ones feeling ashamed.

All the people who say to shrug it off - that's how we got to this point. The normalization of uncivil public behavior.
On the one hand, yes, ignore the nutcase.
On the other hand, nutcase behavior is enabled.
Isn't there some other thread on here today about how people in this day and age are just plain mean? I feel like these two threads are connected.

I live in NYC and have been practicing the art of ignoring vagrants for several decades. The need to create invisible public boundaries (absolutely NO eye contact, pretend you don't see them, the quick summation of how loony or dangerous a particular walking zombie is) contributes to the dissolution of community. When people celebrate the new addition to the Museum of Natural History, I see the privatization of public space because public space has become so unpredictably unpleasant. There is a corollation (ugh, I can't spell) between the rise of homelessness and secured semi-public spaces sponsored by corporations.

The nutcase is “enabled” because there is no plan to deal with the mentally ill. In the alleged nicer (so not true) olden days, the mentally ill would be kept away from us, not taught not to use mean words.

In this instance, OP can choose to feel like a victim or not. Being upset for a bit, totally normal. Ruminating and victimhood? That’s not helpful. I have personal experience and you have to choose your own adventure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- so I know it's not a laughing matter and I'm so sorry that this sicko unleased on you.

You're not alone though--
NSFW video- enjoy

That's awesome. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been called a chink a lot. The first time was by these underprivileged children I was mentoring when I was in high school. During that gig, I dropped a stack of quarters on the floor. I forgot why I had them. Just a bunch of loose change that had piled up.

A mom seemed to help pick them up. I was able to thank her, only she kept them. A middle-aged woman kept a 16-year-old’s quarters. I was stunned. In my community, middle-aged women looked after young people.

It felt like there was a barrier between our worlds. I knew I did not want to part through to theirs. I wondered if they wanted to pass through to mine. Mine had safety, healthcare, kindness, greenery.

It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t pass through. But also, since they couldn’t pass through, it felt like their words and actions couldn’t pass through either. I remember feeling not hurt at all. They couldn’t even hurt me. It seemed terribly sad. I still feel sad for those kids.

[Anonymous]

This will happen more and more. Just like 8 years ago when the Orange Man was elected. Like clockwork.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. People are miserable and mentally depleted. Angry white dude called my 10yr old daughter a bi#!%. It was so important to drill it into her head not to internalize his words and let them damage her day. You know the guy is enveloped in his own hell. Breathe and try to refocus on something good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been called a chink a lot. The first time was by these underprivileged children I was mentoring when I was in high school. During that gig, I dropped a stack of quarters on the floor. I forgot why I had them. Just a bunch of loose change that had piled up.

A mom seemed to help pick them up. I was able to thank her, only she kept them. A middle-aged woman kept a 16-year-old’s quarters. I was stunned. In my community, middle-aged women looked after young people.

It felt like there was a barrier between our worlds. I knew I did not want to part through to theirs. I wondered if they wanted to pass through to mine. Mine had safety, healthcare, kindness, greenery.

It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t pass through. But also, since they couldn’t pass through, it felt like their words and actions couldn’t pass through either. I remember feeling not hurt at all. They couldn’t even hurt me. It seemed terribly sad. I still feel sad for those kids.

Handling alurs and bias cannot be boiled downto to "well at least my people group/community is better than theirs and poor things they just don't even know it!"

[Anonymous]

it would be helpful if DC police would arrest the homeless person for a hate crime as usually they threaten and get aggressive if you don't give them money and call you a racist slur. This way we can get them off the streets and into prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it would be helpful if DC police would arrest the homeless person for a hate crime as usually they threaten and get aggressive if you don't give them money and call you a racist slur. This way we can get them off the streets and into prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it would be helpful if DC police would arrest the homeless person for a hate crime as usually they threaten and get aggressive if you don't give them money and call you a racist slur. This way we can get them off the streets and into prison.

What crime do you think they’ve committed? Loudly calling someone a racial slur isn’t a crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it would be helpful if DC police would arrest the homeless person for a hate crime as usually they threaten and get aggressive if you don't give them money and call you a racist slur. This way we can get them off the streets and into prison.

What crime do you think they’ve committed? Loudly calling someone a racial slur isn’t a crime.

DP. Yelling loudly and yelling obscenities in a public setting would fall under disorderly conduct.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry that happened. You didn’t deserve that weird, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been called a chink a lot. The first time was by these underprivileged children I was mentoring when I was in high school. During that gig, I dropped a stack of quarters on the floor. I forgot why I had them. Just a bunch of loose change that had piled up.

A mom seemed to help pick them up. I was able to thank her, only she kept them. A middle-aged woman kept a 16-year-old’s quarters. I was stunned. In my community, middle-aged women looked after young people.

It felt like there was a barrier between our worlds. I knew I did not want to part through to theirs. I wondered if they wanted to pass through to mine. Mine had safety, healthcare, kindness, greenery.

It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t pass through. But also, since they couldn’t pass through, it felt like their words and actions couldn’t pass through either. I remember feeling not hurt at all. They couldn’t even hurt me. It seemed terribly sad. I still feel sad for those kids.

Handling alurs and bias cannot be boiled downto to "well at least my people group/community is better than theirs and poor things they just don't even know it!"

DP but yeah that's exactly what it is and how you handle it. My mom always said "sticks and stones" and don't stoop to their level. By not stooping to their level, we ARE better than them. I think turning the other cheek and silently knowing you're better when someone calls you a spic or a chink or a n*** is about the most pacifist thing you can do. Forgive them because they know not what they do? I think Jesus said exactly that. These ignorant idiots have no idea. It's ok to pity them. And then distance yourself.

[Anonymous]

Good morning, it’s the OP. It took a second night of sleep but I’ve processed it. All good now.
Thank you to all for your kind words.

Wishing everyone a lovely day!