I got called a f***ing chink yesterday

[Anonymous]

A man who was either homeless and/or has substance abuse issues/mental illness was walking towards me last night on a semi isolated street, in that unsteady halting way. I was trying to walk around him with my head bent down to stay out of his way when he snarled "stop staring at me, you f****ing chink".

I kept walking ahead. For a split second I thought he would turn around and start following me. There were other people ahead of me so I just started walking faster to catch up to them and then I was in an area where there were many more people.

I've been called "chink" by all sorts of people since I was a kid in elementary school. "Go back to your country". [My country? I was born here.]

So it surprises me how much it still stings when someone calls me a chink. It's even hard to write that. That a man who was probably homeless thinks I'm less than him because of my skin color. It shouldn't bother me, after all this time! Right?!

So I'm just trying to get this out of my system. Weirdly I feel ashamed and couldn't even tell anyone IRL that this happened.

Thanks for listening, strangers on an anonymous messaging board.

[Anonymous]

That’s terrible and I’m really sorry that happened to you. He sounds mentally ill so I wouldn’t take it personally.

But also, being homeless in itself doesn’t make him less than you either.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't think you're less than him. He's using a racially appropriate insult. Another person would be a honkey, spic, Jap, n*gg**, or btch.

Would you want to trade places with him? No. So what he says doesn't matter.

I'd be more concerned about the risk of violent.

[Anonymous]

Been called a "whore" and "spick" by homeless people. Im sure they're mentally ill don't take it personally op. Sorry that happened to you. The world is getting upsetting...

[Anonymous]

For the last five or so years, I have thought a lot about how to be an ally as a white person, and one thing I do is when I see something like that happen I go up to the person and ask if they're okay and say that was horrible and wrong. It's all I can really think of but I want them to know it was witnessed and thought to be unacceptable.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's wrong, but you didn't do anything wrong. If its any consolidation, the man was either homeless and/or has substance abuse issues/mental illness so it came from a place of sickness not necessarily hate. Don't let this colonize your mind and spirit. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure why you think you’re better than someone just because they’re homeless. If anything after feeling the sting of an insult like you did I would think you might be more sensitive to being labeled for something beyond your control. Obviously this person is mentally ill. Also not something they can help.

[Anonymous]

This person was of course mentally ill and doesn’t have the capacity to function normally. It’s very sad to hear you went through that. I have gone through that as well. It is surprising and upsetting but remember it has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s terrible and I’m really sorry that happened to you. He sounds mentally ill so I wouldn’t take it personally.

But also, being homeless in itself doesn’t make him less than you either.

Being racist does, though.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man who was either homeless and/or has substance abuse issues/mental illness was walking towards me last night on a semi isolated street, in that unsteady halting way. I was trying to walk around him with my head bent down to stay out of his way when he snarled "stop staring at me, you f****ing chink".

I kept walking ahead. For a split second I thought he would turn around and start following me. There were other people ahead of me so I just started walking faster to catch up to them and then I was in an area where there were many more people.

I've been called "chink" by all sorts of people since I was a kid in elementary school. "Go back to your country". [My country? I was born here.]

So it surprises me how much it still stings when someone calls me a chink. It's even hard to write that. That a man who was probably homeless thinks I'm less than him because of my skin color. It shouldn't bother me, after all this time! Right?!

So I'm just trying to get this out of my system. Weirdly I feel ashamed and couldn't even tell anyone IRL that this happened.

Thanks for listening, strangers on an anonymous messaging board.

Man I’ve been called slurs and bitck so much I don’t even care anymore. By all types of people. You can’t internalize it like someone else gets to define who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s terrible and I’m really sorry that happened to you. He sounds mentally ill so I wouldn’t take it personally.

But also, being homeless in itself doesn’t make him less than you either.

Being racist does, though.

Yeah.

OP, I’m sorry. I agree with the person who said it comes from a place of sickness, and to try to not carry it for long. If it were me, id be shaken. I’m just saying I’d try to head for clearing my mind of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure why you think you’re better than someone just because they’re homeless. If anything after feeling the sting of an insult like you did I would think you might be more sensitive to being labeled for something beyond your control. Obviously this person is mentally ill. Also not something they can help.

I think your judgy message could have been saved for another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the last five or so years, I have thought a lot about how to be an ally as a white person, and one thing I do is when I see something like that happen I go up to the person and ask if they're okay and say that was horrible and wrong. It's all I can really think of but I want them to know it was witnessed and thought to be unacceptable.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

That’s great. And kind.

He never said the homeless person who said it was white or of any particular race. In my experience, everyone is racist.

[Anonymous]

I'm mixed-race and I grew up in a capital city in Europe, so I've gotten used to ignoring both sexual catcalls and all kinds of insults. A homeless guy screaming stuff at me would not faze me in the least.

However, it hurts a lot more when it's a seemingly educated, with-it, sort of person, even more if it's someone close to me. Sadly I've had that that sort of person make racist comments against me, including my own grandmother: I will never forget those.