How did you decide between your DC's top choices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned distance - yes, there was one school that had to be ruled out due to distance. While it looked beautiful, it was in a location that made it rather difficult to access in an emergency and/or for school breaks.

Unless you mean emergency personnel can’t access the campus, this is a crazy reason to rule out a school.

No it is not. DP here but what if your kid has mental health issues and tries to hurt themself? Would you not want to get there ASAP rather than have to take a 10 hour flight, etc? come on, be reasonable, not everyone's life is perfect.

What if your DD got sexually assaulted? Would you like to leave it to the "emergency personnel" only?

Location of the school is not going to determine whether a sexual assault will occur, unfortunately, so no, I’m not basing a decision on DC’s college on whether I would have to takes planes, trains, and automobiles to get to DC if an assault were to happen…which for the record I wouldn’t wish on anyone’s child.

To your point about mental health challenges, if the DC is struggling then my opinion is the student isn’t ready to go off anywhere to college. Local college or online only. Why would anyone send their child with mental health challenges away anywhere? I empathize with any parent who deals with that, but come on.

You don't have any clues, clearly. Trot off then, happy moron.

You first, not-so-happy moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Mambojambo2024 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You meaning you plural you and your DC. Or just your DC if there was no budget, no geographic limits, etc.

+1
Unfortunately, my DC had to go with our "top choice" as it was an in-state school. Even though her dream school was out of state, we couldn't help her financially achieve it and she had no aid or merit. It was super tough on all of us, but she was 17 when was was making this decision. We decided not to let a 17 year old saddle herself with that much debt. Even though she finds our in-state school "less exciting," she can graduate debt free.

We are paying so we get final say. Kids can’t borrow full COA anymore so no way for our kid to attend top choice at $95k/yr without our approval (aka check book!). Kid is at lowest cost option.

Student loan limits are:
1st-year undergrad 5,500
2nd-year undergrad 6,500
3rd- & 4th-year undergrad 7,500
Limit for all 4 years 31,000

Many parents do not realize things have changed and their kid cannot borrow for school like they did.

Now, the parents can borrow full COA, but rates and origination fees are insane. And they are the parents’ loans, not the kids.

Terrible situation for your kid to be in. Instead of making the decision for your kid, you should have done a better job guiding him to only apply to colleges you and your family can afford. Or at least gamble on the ones that typically offer a lot of need-based money. I would never dare to select my child’s college for him….

If PP can only afford in-state, there aren't that many options in most states. It depends on the child's stats and maybe a preference for big/ small or a particular major but there are only a handful of options if you can’t afford private or OOS

If you are willing to go to the Midwest or South, there are quite a few famous universities (usually in the Big 10, Big 12, & SEC) which offer scholarships and/or OOS tuition waivers which bring the costs down to the in-state public college level for most northeastern states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned distance - yes, there was one school that had to be ruled out due to distance. While it looked beautiful, it was in a location that made it rather difficult to access in an emergency and/or for school breaks.

Unless you mean emergency personnel can’t access the campus, this is a crazy reason to rule out a school.

No it is not. DP here but what if your kid has mental health issues and tries to hurt themself? Would you not want to get there ASAP rather than have to take a 10 hour flight, etc? come on, be reasonable, not everyone's life is perfect.

What if your DD got sexually assaulted? Would you like to leave it to the "emergency personnel" only?

Location of the school is not going to determine whether a sexual assault will occur, unfortunately, so no, I’m not basing a decision on DC’s college on whether I would have to takes planes, trains, and automobiles to get to DC if an assault were to happen…which for the record I wouldn’t wish on anyone’s child.

To your point about mental health challenges, if the DC is struggling then my opinion is the student isn’t ready to go off anywhere to college. Local college or online only. Why would anyone send their child with mental health challenges away anywhere? I empathize with any parent who deals with that, but come on.

DP, but we are in the same boat as the PP you are responding to. Our DC with assorted challenges will go to school because they - and we, and their providers - think they’re ready. We are also realistic about the fact that we can’t really know how they’ll do in a new setting until they try it. We want them somewhere we can get to reasonably quickly if needed, or somewhere we have family / close friends.

In all sincerity I hope it goes well, that DC is indeed ready. The location, though, is not going to dictate readiness.

Probably not, but someone being there for support will matter if they need that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Mambojambo2024 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You meaning you plural you and your DC. Or just your DC if there was no budget, no geographic limits, etc.

+1
Unfortunately, my DC had to go with our "top choice" as it was an in-state school. Even though her dream school was out of state, we couldn't help her financially achieve it and she had no aid or merit. It was super tough on all of us, but she was 17 when was was making this decision. We decided not to let a 17 year old saddle herself with that much debt. Even though she finds our in-state school "less exciting," she can graduate debt free.

We are paying so we get final say. Kids can’t borrow full COA anymore so no way for our kid to attend top choice at $95k/yr without our approval (aka check book!). Kid is at lowest cost option.

Student loan limits are:
1st-year undergrad 5,500
2nd-year undergrad 6,500
3rd- & 4th-year undergrad 7,500
Limit for all 4 years 31,000

Many parents do not realize things have changed and their kid cannot borrow for school like they did.

Now, the parents can borrow full COA, but rates and origination fees are insane. And they are the parents’ loans, not the kids.

Terrible situation for your kid to be in. Instead of making the decision for your kid, you should have done a better job guiding him to only apply to colleges you and your family can afford. Or at least gamble on the ones that typically offer a lot of need-based money. I would never dare to select my child’s college for him….

I’m not PP but this is absolutely not a “terrible situation.” You never know what the merit aid package might be like until you apply. To not have financial considerations is very, very rare (even if not rare on this site).

+1

Lets be honest, most “consultants” or even the school aid office can guide you on typical merit aid ranges for your kid with their stats, etc. so it shouldn’t ever be a surprise a 50 percentile kid didn’t get Merit aid at certain schools. It is the parent’s responsibility to figure this out before the kid wastes his time applying and praying to god they might get an above avg and uncommon Merit package for their qualifications. If it is a big unknown , why put your kid through to this? Might as well play Mega Millions tomorrow….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Mambojambo2024 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You meaning you plural you and your DC. Or just your DC if there was no budget, no geographic limits, etc.

+1
Unfortunately, my DC had to go with our "top choice" as it was an in-state school. Even though her dream school was out of state, we couldn't help her financially achieve it and she had no aid or merit. It was super tough on all of us, but she was 17 when was was making this decision. We decided not to let a 17 year old saddle herself with that much debt. Even though she finds our in-state school "less exciting," she can graduate debt free.

We are paying so we get final say. Kids can’t borrow full COA anymore so no way for our kid to attend top choice at $95k/yr without our approval (aka check book!). Kid is at lowest cost option.

Student loan limits are:
1st-year undergrad 5,500
2nd-year undergrad 6,500
3rd- & 4th-year undergrad 7,500
Limit for all 4 years 31,000

Many parents do not realize things have changed and their kid cannot borrow for school like they did.

Now, the parents can borrow full COA, but rates and origination fees are insane. And they are the parents’ loans, not the kids.

Terrible situation for your kid to be in. Instead of making the decision for your kid, you should have done a better job guiding him to only apply to colleges you and your family can afford. Or at least gamble on the ones that typically offer a lot of need-based money. I would never dare to select my child’s college for him….

I’m not PP but this is absolutely not a “terrible situation.” You never know what the merit aid package might be like until you apply. To not have financial considerations is very, very rare (even if not rare on this site).

+1

Lets be honest, most “consultants” or even the school aid office can guide you on typical merit aid ranges for your kid with their stats, etc. so it shouldn’t ever be a surprise a 50 percentile kid didn’t get Merit aid at certain schools. It is the parent’s responsibility to figure this out before the kid wastes his time applying and praying to god they might get an above avg and uncommon Merit package for their qualifications. If it is a big unknown , why put your kid through to this? Might as well play Mega Millions tomorrow….

Not true. At Vanderbilt, for example, they offer a small number of highly competitive full tuition merit based (not need based) scholarships. So, step one: apply to Vanderbilt, step two: apply to competitive merit scholarship. You don't learn whether you've won the scholarship until you've applied to both the school and the scholarship. So kid may get accepted to the school, but not win the scholarship, and then the school is unaffordable.

[Anonymous]

My DC will decide. I will place financial limitations in what I can pay for, but it is DC's life, and DC will make the choice with parental input and support.

[Anonymous]

Mine had three top choices. I said, “Would you rather graduate from X and owe $0 or graduate from Y or Z and owe $30k.” The choice was easily and wisely made. He chose X.

[Anonymous]

Dc made the initial school list with a few added suggestions from school counselor. They didn't love those additional achools, but was told they needed more balance (likely/targets). Of note, kid got merit from several of the private schools so it is reasonable for kids to apply broadly to different cost options (in state, oos, private, etc) bc you dont really know the final cost until after acceptance. Kid had a semi ranked list of favorites, but we (parents) tried not to hype up any schools bc we had no idea where they'd get in. They did get onto 1 of the top choices and chose that.

[Anonymous]

1. Fit (will they thrive there, be bored there or be overwhelmed there)
2. Prestige (everything from, will the name impress, be acceptable, or have people wondering if it's an accredited institution)
3. Net cost (How much am I willing to pull out of pocket for this name brand)
4. X factor, good vibe, etc.

[Anonymous]

Both of ours ended up choosing the schools we, as parents, had hoped. Not sure how it happened though. One DC was choosing among 7, and another DC between 2. Most acceptances were EA so the pressure was off before Christmas - they were going somewhere they liked. And schools were not on their list if we didn't approve - except 1 private (the rest publics, most OOS) was a "maybe" re: if we were willing to pay. We never, ever, would have been able to anticipate how merit aid reordered the list from least to most expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went to all the Admitted Student Days. This crystallized for DS that his top choice wasn't actually the right fit, and that one of his safeties was, in fact, the correct choice. It was the same price.

He's now a sophomore and very happy with his choice.

+1 Go to admitted student days at the top two or three and the decision will become apparent.

[Anonymous]

We had five schools clustered near the top of DC's list. Evaluated factors like curriculum design, vibe, and distance and a top choice emerged. It wasn't a dealbreaker, but we did prefer to be within a reasonable driving distance eg 6-ish hours vs. 10+ once we were down to the final 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What made the difference?

Visiting the schools as an admitted student. Made the choice crystal clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went to all the Admitted Student Days. This crystallized for DS that his top choice wasn't actually the right fit, and that one of his safeties was, in fact, the correct choice. It was the same price.

He's now a sophomore and very happy with his choice.

+1 Go to admitted student days at the top two or three and the decision will become apparent.

This sounds like an excellent idea. But do they put pressure or assume they are definitely going there? Some of our days feel late, like in March/April.

[Anonymous]

Tell us your options and we will decide for you