Are college freshman struggling more now than decades ago?

[Anonymous]

Yes, people only started dropping out of college 4 years ago. It was unheard of 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I think many lack social maturity. There are a whole group of kids who are great academically, but have spent a ton of time on social media and have no social skills. Also, their cultural references are weak, unless it’s a meme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that everyone answering this thread is literally part of the problem. We, as parents, did this. We are not willing to change it either. God forbid there is an illusion that another kid or group of kids will get a leg up on your kid. Criticize the methods of other parents and the related behaviors without taking any accountability. Declare a handful of schools "worthy" and put down other kids and families who can't or don't want the "top" schools.

Take a look in the mirror, everyone! You're supporting this nonsense, voting for people who support this nonsense, pay obscene amounts of money for it all too. What are you willing to do to stop it? Are you willing to tell your middle school kid that it's ridiculous to travel across the country to play sports? Are you willing to tell your kid that taking 12 APs is too much and you'd like them to get a job, do chores at home, and hang out with siblings instead? Are you willing to forego paid college essay consultants for a less eloquent essay?

I am! I’m absolutely doing all of that. My teens are pretty happy, well-balanced individuals overall. But I am very aware that could change when they get to college.

Be careful assuming that it’s just the high-achieving, helicopter-parented, rat race kids who are unhappy, though. My kids go to a very economically diverse high school, and the kids on the other end of that spectrum are pretty miserable, too. It’s the phones. The culture.

Yes, this was my son. And he went to one of those big rah-rah football schools with a reputation for being friendly. He's never had trouble making friends. He still found connecting socially to be really, really hard. Ended up hanging mostly with a couple HS friends in his first year. Gradually got to make more friends through classes and is very happy with the school now.

He's not a big drinker and didn't want to join a frat. Seems it's easier to make "friends" if you are willing to get drunk with people all weekend. A lot of kids don't seem to be able to socialize without being drunk and/or stoned.

He doesn't have to get hammered all the time to be in a fraternity. As long as he's a cool guy who pulls and isn't awkward around girls, he'll get a bid. They won't force him to drink or care if he chooses not to.

Lol. I recognize you! You were the old guy at homecoming hanging out at your old fraternity house hitting on all the sorority girls that thought you were so sad. And here you are on a parenting thread acting like Mr. Frat talking about someone’s son “pulling.” Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

The southern schools poster is relentless. It’s so lame. They are like a Trumper bringing it into every conversation. Their kid must have really wanted to go to an Ivy for them to be on every thread saying the same thing.

What does this have to do with Trump? I think this parent's kid is having a great experience and they want to share with others.

[Anonymous]

I have a very happy freshman, and he seems to have a happy roommate and hall mates. We’d need a whole study to draw some of the general conclusions people are drawing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if you ask anyone who works in a university.

I think it is exacerbated by social media (which predated COVID).

I also think too many kids are raising themselves. (While both parents are working or in their cell phones)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

People who live the unexamined life of partying, appearance-orientation, and not working very hard in school are not necessarily cool. They may indeed be magnetic, mainly to each other.

I'd also like to point out that excessive partying, drinking, etc. are markers of lower social skills. Confident people don't need crutches like alcohol to mingle, converse, line up dates. Many people at college use alcohol to conceal their lack of courage, poor conversational icebreaking skills, lack of manners, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

“Self select for the cream of the crop in coolness.” So much nonsense right there. Can you cite actual studies to prove this? Or are you also less academically inclined? Here’s one that disproves the theory you have manufactured.

https://www.princetonreview.com/college-rankings/?rankings=happiest-students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

You sound like you're either a high schooler/college freshman yourself or peaked at that age.

+ 100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

“Self select for the cream of the crop in coolness.” So much nonsense right there. Can you cite actual studies to prove this? Or are you also less academically inclined? Here’s one that disproves the theory you have manufactured.

https://www.princetonreview.com/college-rankings/?rankings=happiest-students

DP, but Princeton Review isn't exactly scientific unless by scientific you mean 'tarted. Besides, it looks like Auburn (SEC) is #1 on that list and K-State (not SEC but a P4 football school) is #2.

[Anonymous]

Kids now stay too in touch with their high school friends on social media. It means they feel less need to bond with new people because they can connect, joke and vent with their old friends.

When I went to college the only way to be in touch with high school friends was snail mail or maybe a short landline call if I had saved up enough money to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Less resilience, poor preparation in the core subjects, then kids have to face real deadlines, no test retakes, and an environment where there is far less hand holding.

So yes, they are struggling more because they are far less prepared to take that next step.

Unfortunately, some colleges continue the coddling they received prior to college so now Gen Z is getting fired on their first real jobs.