Not getting invited to parties after being invited in previous years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parties starting late in 1st and then in 2nd get smaller. 10 kids. Boys and girls both get left out, it happens to everyone. Those 10 kids can include family friends, sports friends, close aged siblings or cousins. Continue all class/all gender parties if that is what you or your DD wants but it doesn't guarantee reciprocal invites. It does help if you are friends with the moms at that age.

My older kids are now tweens/teens. Over on the tween/teen forum, people often talk about their kid being the left out one. My boys were never the left out ones. I have even responded on those threads that I often only take who I can fit in my car so that means closest 4 friends only.

Ugh I feel like my daughter is not the same as my boys. She seems also much more sensitive.

So you didn't care or feel bad at all until it was your kid. Got it.

I also said that I made my kids invite all the boys in the class until sixth grade. It didn’t feel right to invite only 10 of the 11 or 12 boys so we invited all of the boys.

This wouldn't work for my kid because his classes are huge. He has 19 boys in his class this year. And a lot of his friends are not in his class but he'll still invite them. Sorry but we can't afford to and don't want to host a party for 30+ kids in the name of being inclusive.

I never really thought about it or kept track since my boys have always been invited to a lot of parties. I didn’t do a headcount or ask if everyone was invited.

School literally just started. Invitations probably went out before school started. My kid was not invited. She felt bad about it. Then the girl was actually mean and told DD she didn’t invite her. My DD is ok and all is well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parties starting late in 1st and then in 2nd get smaller. 10 kids. Boys and girls both get left out, it happens to everyone. Those 10 kids can include family friends, sports friends, close aged siblings or cousins. Continue all class/all gender parties if that is what you or your DD wants but it doesn't guarantee reciprocal invites. It does help if you are friends with the moms at that age.

My older kids are now tweens/teens. Over on the tween/teen forum, people often talk about their kid being the left out one. My boys were never the left out ones. I have even responded on those threads that I often only take who I can fit in my car so that means closest 4 friends only.

Ugh I feel like my daughter is not the same as my boys. She seems also much more sensitive.

It sounds like your boys were popular and somewhat insulated from the type of rejection your daughter is experiencing right now and that they also (maybe because of popularity) were not as impacted emotionally when they were not included. You now can appreciate better what those parents were talking about and for your daughter, validate the disappointment and feelings of rejection/embarrassment while knowing you can't fix it. This is life and it really sucks. But also help her reason through it - maybe these girls are closer to play sports together. There was probably not an intention to hurt her. How can she feel connected during this time? Does she have friends she can hang out with more, either inside or outside of school.