Not getting invited to parties after being invited in previous years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter makes the invite list and pretty much designs her party. The last one we included kids from many facets of her life so, there were only her favorites from school. Also, we had a galaxy slime party and each kid had a bowl but we could literally only invite 20 kids or so. This coming party in 3rd grade she will have it at a large venue so more can be invited. Yes, some were upset but that is life.

Nobody cares that they weren’t invited give me a break

DP, but did you read the OPs post and the whole thread? People do care because “hurt feelings”.

It’s shocking that people will swear kids are resilient in terms of parents divorcing or cross country moves, but lose their minds over lack of a BD party invite.

OP here. It is fine. In DD’s 7.5 years of life, this is the first time she has felt bad about being left out. It will not be the last and it is totally ok. I’m sure kids will talk on Monday and that she may feel bad again. She will survive.

For the few girls she does do dance with or has been in the same class for the third time, she was invited. Like I wrote previously, my older kids are boys and have never expressed hurt or even told me about a party they were not invited to. I was pregnant or had a baby/toddler so I didn’t notice what we were being invited to but it always felt like our social lives were full between sports, play dates and parties.

DD started dance this week. Girl Scouts starts next week. I also just signed her up for an after school club.

She will survive not being invited to these parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter makes the invite list and pretty much designs her party. The last one we included kids from many facets of her life so, there were only her favorites from school. Also, we had a galaxy slime party and each kid had a bowl but we could literally only invite 20 kids or so. This coming party in 3rd grade she will have it at a large venue so more can be invited. Yes, some were upset but that is life.

Nobody cares that they weren’t invited give me a break

DP, but did you read the OPs post and the whole thread? People do care because “hurt feelings”.

It’s shocking that people will swear kids are resilient in terms of parents divorcing or cross country moves, but lose their minds over lack of a BD party invite.

OP here. It is fine. In DD’s 7.5 years of life, this is the first time she has felt bad about being left out. It will not be the last and it is totally ok. I’m sure kids will talk on Monday and that she may feel bad again. She will survive.

For the few girls she does do dance with or has been in the same class for the third time, she was invited. Like I wrote previously, my older kids are boys and have never expressed hurt or even told me about a party they were not invited to. I was pregnant or had a baby/toddler so I didn’t notice what we were being invited to but it always felt like our social lives were full between sports, play dates and parties.

DD started dance this week. Girl Scouts starts next week. I also just signed her up for an after school club.

She will survive not being invited to these parties.

You are pathetic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter makes the invite list and pretty much designs her party. The last one we included kids from many facets of her life so, there were only her favorites from school. Also, we had a galaxy slime party and each kid had a bowl but we could literally only invite 20 kids or so. This coming party in 3rd grade she will have it at a large venue so more can be invited. Yes, some were upset but that is life.

Nobody cares that they weren’t invited give me a break

DP, but did you read the OPs post and the whole thread? People do care because “hurt feelings”.

It’s shocking that people will swear kids are resilient in terms of parents divorcing or cross country moves, but lose their minds over lack of a BD party invite.

OP here. It is fine. In DD’s 7.5 years of life, this is the first time she has felt bad about being left out. It will not be the last and it is totally ok. I’m sure kids will talk on Monday and that she may feel bad again. She will survive.

For the few girls she does do dance with or has been in the same class for the third time, she was invited. Like I wrote previously, my older kids are boys and have never expressed hurt or even told me about a party they were not invited to. I was pregnant or had a baby/toddler so I didn’t notice what we were being invited to but it always felt like our social lives were full between sports, play dates and parties.

DD started dance this week. Girl Scouts starts next week. I also just signed her up for an after school club.

She will survive not being invited to these parties.

You are pathetic

dp the real "pathetic" person is YOU pp. What op wrote was perfectly fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter makes the invite list and pretty much designs her party. The last one we included kids from many facets of her life so, there were only her favorites from school. Also, we had a galaxy slime party and each kid had a bowl but we could literally only invite 20 kids or so. This coming party in 3rd grade she will have it at a large venue so more can be invited. Yes, some were upset but that is life.

Nobody cares that they weren’t invited give me a break

DP, but did you read the OPs post and the whole thread? People do care because “hurt feelings”.

It’s shocking that people will swear kids are resilient in terms of parents divorcing or cross country moves, but lose their minds over lack of a BD party invite.

OP here. It is fine. In DD’s 7.5 years of life, this is the first time she has felt bad about being left out. It will not be the last and it is totally ok. I’m sure kids will talk on Monday and that she may feel bad again. She will survive.

For the few girls she does do dance with or has been in the same class for the third time, she was invited. Like I wrote previously, my older kids are boys and have never expressed hurt or even told me about a party they were not invited to. I was pregnant or had a baby/toddler so I didn’t notice what we were being invited to but it always felt like our social lives were full between sports, play dates and parties.

DD started dance this week. Girl Scouts starts next week. I also just signed her up for an after school club.

She will survive not being invited to these parties.

You are pathetic

She is sad 😔 would say

[Anonymous]

Your kid will inevitably one day be on the OTHER side and some other kid will be wondering why they got left out.

Inviting everyone in the class may be a great option for you, but I know I can't afford to host a party with 20+ kids in my house, or at a trampoline park.

[Anonymous]

Some of this is just people starting to do smaller parties as their kids get older (we only did whole class parties in preschool). The other part is parents not teaching their children not to talk about parties at school. Each year, we drill it into our children not to talk about their birthday parties at school, not even with attendees at recess, because other kids may feel bad that they weren't invited. I get the feeling most parents don't talk to their kids about this.

We also tell our children that you can't be BFFs with everyone and you won't get invited to every party. It doesn't mean that this person isn't your friend or that they are a mean person, it just means they had a small party, and remind them about how they only invited 4 kids to their party last year....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of this is just people starting to do smaller parties as their kids get older (we only did whole class parties in preschool). The other part is parents not teaching their children not to talk about parties at school. Each year, we drill it into our children not to talk about their birthday parties at school, not even with attendees at recess, because other kids may feel bad that they weren't invited. I get the feeling most parents don't talk to their kids about this.

We also tell our children that you can't be BFFs with everyone and you won't get invited to every party. It doesn't mean that this person isn't your friend or that they are a mean person, it just means they had a small party, and remind them about how they only invited 4 kids to their party last year....

The girl specifically told DD and another child they were not invited to her party. I’m not sure if only 2 from the table or 2 from the class were not invited. DD said it made her feel bad. I told her the girl was rude to say that and DD said it wasn’t nice to say mean things about the girl. My DD is such a sweetheart.

I mentioned her birthday and what kind of party she wanted and she said she wanted a big party. I asked if she wanted invite the whole class including the girl and she said yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

Not super comforting, but a whole class invite carries a pretty big expense. We made the stretch through third grade, but I didn't love it. Even a home party involves labor and cost - especially if the parents stick around. Last year, my 2nd kid opted for the $ for a party instead of having one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

Not super comforting, but a whole class invite carries a pretty big expense. We made the stretch through third grade, but I didn't love it. Even a home party involves labor and cost - especially if the parents stick around. Last year, my 2nd kid opted for the $ for a party instead of having one.

DD said she wants a party at our house. We actually have a very large home but not sure I want to host 50+ people. Parents seem to still stick around.

I think our headcount was 75 last year since we invited the whole class plus some friends from preschool and our family friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

It’s hard to see your child upset, but this is a good opportunity for her to start building resilience and coping with feelings of disappointment and not being included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

It’s hard to see your child upset, but this is a good opportunity for her to start building resilience and coping with feelings of disappointment and not being included.

That's easy if it's a few parties. In 6th grade when the parties shrank to a couple of kids, my DD got zero invites including the girls who came to hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

It’s hard to see your child upset, but this is a good opportunity for her to start building resilience and coping with feelings of disappointment and not being included.

I actually loved that she still said she would invite the girl with the rest of the class even if she wasn’t nice and didn’t invite her. Not inviting is fine and may still have hurt DD’s feelings but the girl singled out DD and another child and told them that she didn’t invite them. This is the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

It’s hard to see your child upset, but this is a good opportunity for her to start building resilience and coping with feelings of disappointment and not being included.

I actually loved that she still said she would invite the girl with the rest of the class even if she wasn’t nice and didn’t invite her. Not inviting is fine and may still have hurt DD’s feelings but the girl singled out DD and another child and told them that she didn’t invite them. This is the difference.

Yes, OP should be so proud of her kid's generosity in the face of a slight. That other kid is likely a sad/lacking in confidence child. OP's kid seems to have her head on straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have 3 kids and for my older kids, they always invited all the boys in their class. Even when my son said he never talked to said boy, we still invited him.

I don’t know if it is a boy vs girl thing but I have never heard my boys mention not being invited to a party. I’m sure there were many parties they weren’t invited to but they never told me. DD talks to me a lot and tells me her disappointment.

It’s hard to see your child upset, but this is a good opportunity for her to start building resilience and coping with feelings of disappointment and not being included.

I actually loved that she still said she would invite the girl with the rest of the class even if she wasn’t nice and didn’t invite her. Not inviting is fine and may still have hurt DD’s feelings but the girl singled out DD and another child and told them that she didn’t invite them. This is the difference.

Yes, OP should be so proud of her kid's generosity in the face of a slight. That other kid is likely a sad/lacking in confidence child. OP's kid seems to have her head on straight.

It comes from the parents. I once heard of a mom who invited all the girls in the class for a birthday party. A boy in the class was upset that he wasn’t invited. When the boy had a party, the mom invited the entire class and did not invite the girl. When the girl mom asked about it thinking it was an error, the boy mom said there was no error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parties starting late in 1st and then in 2nd get smaller. 10 kids. Boys and girls both get left out, it happens to everyone. Those 10 kids can include family friends, sports friends, close aged siblings or cousins. Continue all class/all gender parties if that is what you or your DD wants but it doesn't guarantee reciprocal invites. It does help if you are friends with the moms at that age.

My older kids are now tweens/teens. Over on the tween/teen forum, people often talk about their kid being the left out one. My boys were never the left out ones. I have even responded on those threads that I often only take who I can fit in my car so that means closest 4 friends only.

Ugh I feel like my daughter is not the same as my boys. She seems also much more sensitive.

So you didn't care or feel bad at all until it was your kid. Got it.

I also said that I made my kids invite all the boys in the class until sixth grade. It didn’t feel right to invite only 10 of the 11 or 12 boys so we invited all of the boys.

This wouldn't work for my kid because his classes are huge. He has 19 boys in his class this year. And a lot of his friends are not in his class but he'll still invite them. Sorry but we can't afford to and don't want to host a party for 30+ kids in the name of being inclusive.