Husband doesn't want to leave our kids much in inheritence

[Anonymous]

My parents led my brother and I to believe we would only get a fraction of their inheritance. Enough to set us up but not enough to coast through life. Then, once we were established in careers and all that, it came out that they planned to leave us substantially more, they just didn't want us to be trust fund brats.

We both still work even though we don't need to, probably because we both chose jobs we genuinely wanted to do. Is that where your husband is coming from? He wants your kids to actually make something of themselves instead of rely on inheritance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would someone earn all that money if not to leave it to kids? seriously

This is not one of my goals at all.

I suspect it depends on how you were raised. The expectation in my family is that everyone would be fully self sufficient, an adult responsible for enabling whatever life they sought.

I had zero expectations if getting a dime from my parents.

It is my belief that this is a sign if having successfully raised your kids (ie, they are no longer dependent upon you).

But you can raise successful kids who can fully function on their own, and still gift them $$ to ensure they have an even better life. Why wouldn't you want that for your grandkids and their kids? If you we worth $20M+ when your kids are 18-20, can you honestly tell me you wouldn't pay for their college education and gift them money in their 20s to ensure they max out Roth and 401K? that you wouldn't help them purchase a new car, so they can continue to save?
It does not mean they are not independent----they have a good job and can be fully independent. But why make them have roommates and live in a dump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A trust is the answer here. I am raising my kids to be self sufficient as well, but if they flop (like 2 of DH’s siblings) having a means of keeping them from blowing money so the grandkids are OK is important.

THis, as well as gift them the $$ while you are alive so your self-sufficient kids in their 20s/30s get the max benefits from the money. This might allow them to take a career path they love, but wouldn't have done due to a lower pay. I want my kids to be happy and successful, at whatever it is they want to do. If a bit of money can allow them to pursue the arts, or social work or teaching or any other lower paying career, why wouldn't' I do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents led my brother and I to believe we would only get a fraction of their inheritance. Enough to set us up but not enough to coast through life. Then, once we were established in careers and all that, it came out that they planned to leave us substantially more, they just didn't want us to be trust fund brats.

We both still work even though we don't need to, probably because we both chose jobs we genuinely wanted to do. Is that where your husband is coming from? He wants your kids to actually make something of themselves instead of rely on inheritance?

But we are doing that with our kids, and they know they will get $$$. They also know they do/will see it in their 20s once they finish college. All they have to do is work hard (ie hold a 40 hour week job on a career path that they love---they get to pick). If they want to quit their job and sit a home playing video games, well then the gifts will halt.

So far our kids are making something of themselves. Both have great careers out of college and both are fairly frugal and savers. So they live within their means---both could afford the apartment they live in and still save for retirement---they just save a lot more with our gifts. They are appreciative of having a car gifted them after college so they don't have to add car payment to their budget quite yet. They recognize their privilege. But As long as they are hardworking contributing to society, we will continue to gift $$$ now while it matters the most

[Anonymous]

He can leave his half to whomever he wants and you can do the same.

[Anonymous]

Who knows what the future will look like. What if one of them becomes disabled and can no longer work? Will automation make forced them to retire early and become unemployed? Protect your kids if you have the resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can leave his half to whomever he wants and you can do the same.

This. Life is hard enough without having to worry about money. I'd love to leave my kids a nice big cushion, with incentives for having a career.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am leaving my kids as much as possible. As climate change makes conditions worse, those with more money will be able to handle it a lot better.

This approach always floors me. You could use some of that money to improve the problem (through research , political donations, NGOs), which would help everyone. Or you can squirrel away money so just your family is immunized against the perils threatening the rest of society.

Are you a Republican?

You think my money is going to solve the problem when all do the countries in the world cannot? Ha. I will do what I can, which is put my kids in as best a condition that I can. Giving $5m or $50m isn’t going to do squat.

I just reflects a me/mine mentality.

VS, we are all in this together.

What? You want me to give my money away to solve climate change even though it will not solve climate change so that we will all be in this together? Sure. Makes sense.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am leaving my kids as much as possible. As climate change makes conditions worse, those with more money will be able to handle it a lot better.

This approach always floors me. You could use some of that money to improve the problem (through research , political donations, NGOs), which would help everyone. Or you can squirrel away money so just your family is immunized against the perils threatening the rest of society.

Are you a Republican?

Not PP you replied to, but the immense majority of people pass on most of what they have to their family. When you see millions in bequeaths directed to charitable organizations, they are usually either a fragment of the family wealth, or from someone who doesn't have close relatives.

Stop deluding yourself.

But this person seemed motivated by the threat of climate change.

He is deluding himself that that problem can be solved for individuals living on the same planet as the majority suffering its consequences.

It cannot be solved. That is the point. The best we can do it try to mitigate the damage. Money will really help with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am leaving my kids as much as possible. As climate change makes conditions worse, those with more money will be able to handle it a lot better.

This approach always floors me. You could use some of that money to improve the problem (through research , political donations, NGOs), which would help everyone. Or you can squirrel away money so just your family is immunized against the perils threatening the rest of society.

Are you a Republican?

You think my money is going to solve the problem when all do the countries in the world cannot? Ha. I will do what I can, which is put my kids in as best a condition that I can. Giving $5m or $50m isn’t going to do squat.

There's plenty of good you can do in the world, especially on the local level. Excuses.

What charity can I give to locally to solve climate change? Please be specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am leaving my kids as much as possible. As climate change makes conditions worse, those with more money will be able to handle it a lot better.

I think about this as well. Looking now for economical, climate resilient real estate locations in a few decades is good thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was diagnosed recently with a chronic disease. Ask him how he’d feel if he didn’t leave money to a child in that situation. I will try to leave my kids every penny I can because you never know what can happen.

I'm sorry about your kid, that must be difficult.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your husband is a good person.

[Anonymous]

not PP, but https://www.rainforesttrust.org/urgent-projects/brazilian-amazon-fund/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=brandacq&utm_term=rainforest%20trust&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwl4yyBhAgEiwADSEjeBlpFitNBG2iSOvWMZlUYpOqh8s2qbbIGWpklcQX666WyOUNDzQ13xoCz34QAvD_BwE

[Anonymous]

Setup a trust. Wealth is meant to build generational wealth. I don’t think your husband understands how the rich get richer.