Is this fair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

If you are that wealthy this makes no sense.

DP
Sure it does. Some wealthy people don’t like to throw money away. I certainly don’t.

Most wealthy people blow their money on all kinds of things. And education is not one of them.

A motivated kid with good grades and self awareness will do well at any T150 school. There is absolutely no reason to blow 80k/yr on a “top school” when you can get the same education for much much less.

And please spare me the “connections” bs. That’s not the same as education. Which is all that matters to most of us normal people on this board.

no reason to "blow the money" if you don't really have it. However, if you have saved fully for a $80K+ school, there is no reason not to let your kid attend the best fit for them. My kid chose between one ranked ~35 ($85K, no merit) and one ranked ~45 ($85K, merit of $42K/year) at the time. The full pay/no merit was actually the better fit for my kid. We can afford it so we let them choose without money being factored in.
However, had money been an issue, my kid would be at the one ranked ~45.

[Anonymous]

They are torn and one is 20K cheaper. Um.
Is what fair? Your amazing luck? I think the choice is obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without knowing the college, cant comment.

OP, share the names

DP
The names are irrelevant. If a kid is torn between two he loves both, and clearly isn’t using your precious rankings or prestige as a deciding factor. Lots of us care about many other things besides that.

If names are irrelevant, then its no brainer. Pick the one that's cheapest, bc both colleges are same.. as you said names are irrelevant. Applies even to cases where difference might be 5k only

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how this is a question.
Do you tiptoe around finances on every aspect of your and your kid's life, as if it's a forbidden topic?

Gotta love DCUM. Everywhere else on the planet $ is the #1 criterion. On here parents are afraid to even mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

If you are that wealthy this makes no sense.

DP
Sure it does. Some wealthy people don’t like to throw money away. I certainly don’t.

Most wealthy people blow their money on all kinds of things. And education is not one of them.

A motivated kid with good grades and self awareness will do well at any T150 school. There is absolutely no reason to blow 80k/yr on a “top school” when you can get the same education for much much less.

And please spare me the “connections” bs. That’s not the same as education. Which is all that matters to most of us normal people on this board.

no reason to "blow the money" if you don't really have it. However, if you have saved fully for a $80K+ school, there is no reason not to let your kid attend the best fit for them. My kid chose between one ranked ~35 ($85K, no merit) and one ranked ~45 ($85K, merit of $42K/year) at the time. The full pay/no merit was actually the better fit for my kid. We can afford it so we let them choose without money being factored in.
However, had money been an issue, my kid would be at the one ranked ~45.

Disagree. No reason to blow $$ no matter how much you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are torn and one is 20K cheaper. Um.
Is what fair? Your amazing luck? I think the choice is obvious.

Haha good point. I guess I feel bad cause wondering if the more expensive one is the one they would thrive more or want more. Wish I realized sooner the financial difference. Didn't realize how much more it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

If you are that wealthy this makes no sense.

DP
Sure it does. Some wealthy people don’t like to throw money away. I certainly don’t.

Most wealthy people blow their money on all kinds of things. And education is not one of them.

A motivated kid with good grades and self awareness will do well at any T150 school. There is absolutely no reason to blow 80k/yr on a “top school” when you can get the same education for much much less.

And please spare me the “connections” bs. That’s not the same as education. Which is all that matters to most of us normal people on this board.

no reason to "blow the money" if you don't really have it. However, if you have saved fully for a $80K+ school, there is no reason not to let your kid attend the best fit for them. My kid chose between one ranked ~35 ($85K, no merit) and one ranked ~45 ($85K, merit of $42K/year) at the time. The full pay/no merit was actually the better fit for my kid. We can afford it so we let them choose without money being factored in.
However, had money been an issue, my kid would be at the one ranked ~45.

Disagree. No reason to blow $$ no matter how much you have.

Well in the above case (I'm PP), it isn't "blowing the money". It's allowing my kid to select the much better fit for them. That means they do better academically because they are all around happier. We have full funding for any graduate school as well. It's a blip on our financial radar. So I don't view spending a bit more for the right school as "blowing money"

But my kid is well aware that 99% of kids would be attending the other school for financial reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

If you are that wealthy this makes no sense.

DP
Sure it does. Some wealthy people don’t like to throw money away. I certainly don’t.

Most wealthy people blow their money on all kinds of things. And education is not one of them.

A motivated kid with good grades and self awareness will do well at any T150 school. There is absolutely no reason to blow 80k/yr on a “top school” when you can get the same education for much much less.

And please spare me the “connections” bs. That’s not the same as education. Which is all that matters to most of us normal people on this board.

no reason to "blow the money" if you don't really have it. However, if you have saved fully for a $80K+ school, there is no reason not to let your kid attend the best fit for them. My kid chose between one ranked ~35 ($85K, no merit) and one ranked ~45 ($85K, merit of $42K/year) at the time. The full pay/no merit was actually the better fit for my kid. We can afford it so we let them choose without money being factored in.
However, had money been an issue, my kid would be at the one ranked ~45.

Disagree. No reason to blow $$ no matter how much you have.

Well in the above case (I'm PP), it isn't "blowing the money". It's allowing my kid to select the much better fit for them. That means they do better academically because they are all around happier. We have full funding for any graduate school as well. It's a blip on our financial radar. So I don't view spending a bit more for the right school as "blowing money"

But my kid is well aware that 99% of kids would be attending the other school for financial reasons.

I don’t get it. We don’t have that kind of money but if we did I’d choose the better fit. Most people blow money on far worse things.

[Anonymous]

When I was deciding on colleges many years ago my parents offered to give me a percentage of the difference in tuition between an expensive well-ranked private and in-state UVA. I took the money and went to UVA. (They gave me the money with the understanding that that would be the last form of support after I graduated college).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was deciding on colleges many years ago my parents offered to give me a percentage of the difference in tuition between an expensive well-ranked private and in-state UVA. I took the money and went to UVA. (They gave me the money with the understanding that that would be the last form of support after I graduated college).

We don't have the extra money handy to invest or give our kid even if he chooses the cheaper. I would maybe give 10k or hope we have some for house or car or something but can't promise. Its a stretch to pay for it period.