If you grew up lower class and became rich

[Anonymous]

That people who become wealthy pretty much stay who they are, as do people who were always wealthy and lost everything. The change in attitude/expectation is in the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

How almost all of my anxieties can be resolved with "worst case scenario, I lose $xxxx, and that would not affect my life significantly, though I'd be very annoyed about it and am going to try to stop it." When that exact same amount of money took me more than 2 years to achieve as a net worth milestone after graduating college (starting from modest student debt).

Related. How easy it is to get money just for having money, and the argument is that you deserve that because you are taking a risk with your money (investing) and the government needs people to invest in stocks or in housing (and be landlords for people who may never have a home). I get this is the whole concept of capitalism, but it really makes me look at all of those "I worked hard for my money, why am I getting taxed so much" whiners in a different light. And it is easy to lose that same money in taking risks, but generally, a diversified and balanced investment portfolio goes up.

How people that come from family with money like to talk about how hard they worked for their standing in life, especially when they are young. It isn't that they didn't work hard, but they don't see how many people work just as hard and don't get the same result. Or how they can take certain risks (and get the reward) because they have always had a family safety net to fall back on if things didn't go right.

Mostly, how much easier life is, though. You just don't have to worry about little stuff, and can look at the bigger picture of finances & life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised that anyone thinks “I make hours of business phone calls from my vacation house” = I work harder than poor people.

If you have the kind of job where you have to take calls on your vacation, you aren’t working a 40-hour/week job. Being on call pretty much all of the time is working harder than someone who leaves their job at 5:00 and doesn’t have to think about it until they show up again the next morning.

I disagree. As someone who takes calls on vacation when needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

How almost all of my anxieties can be resolved with "worst case scenario, I lose $xxxx, and that would not affect my life significantly, though I'd be very annoyed about it and am going to try to stop it." When that exact same amount of money took me more than 2 years to achieve as a net worth milestone after graduating college (starting from modest student debt).

Related. How easy it is to get money just for having money, and the argument is that you deserve that because you are taking a risk with your money (investing) and the government needs people to invest in stocks or in housing (and be landlords for people who may never have a home). I get this is the whole concept of capitalism, but it really makes me look at all of those "I worked hard for my money, why am I getting taxed so much" whiners in a different light. And it is easy to lose that same money in taking risks, but generally, a diversified and balanced investment portfolio goes up.

How people that come from family with money like to talk about how hard they worked for their standing in life, especially when they are young. It isn't that they didn't work hard, but they don't see how many people work just as hard and don't get the same result. Or how they can take certain risks (and get the reward) because they have always had a family safety net to fall back on if things didn't go right.

Mostly, how much easier life is, though. You just don't have to worry about little stuff, and can look at the bigger picture of finances & life.

Totally! It is easy to “bootstrap” a business when you have family money and resources to fall back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in bottom 1% (food stamps, free hot lunches, absent father) and moved up to probably top 5% (est. 350k/yr.).
When I was coming up, I actually believed that poor people were poor because they didn't work hard, and that rich people busted their ass*s off to get rich. Hah, was I a fool.
1) The higher one moves up, the easier their job gets because of deference, prestige, etc.
2) 90+% of wealth in America is inherited, no one worked for it (except the dead people who actually built it).

PP here - I've worked cleaning restrooms and as a $600 an hour lawyer. I'd rather spend 70 hours per week as a lawyer (where people repect you and defer to you) vs. 40 hours cleaning (where people assume you are stupid).

With respect to net worth, most MC, UMC, & UC people will inherit most of their life's net worth when their parents pass away. Most poor people will inherit a funeral bill. So yes, most NW is inherited.

HuH? Most NW is NOT inherited.

Most of my NW was not inherited, as in someone died and left a pile of cash to me. Most of my NW is money I have worked for. But ... family wealth is why I've been able to accumulate that money -- for example I have zero student loans; my mother paid for college, my grandmother paid for my law school, and my boyfriend (with family wealth of his own that allowed him to be able to afford it) paid for my MFA (he's now my DH). And I was able to buy a condo in my early 30s when an apartment building I lived in went condo because my mother gifted me money to use as a down payment. That property appreciated, and I made quite a bit of money when I sold it when DH and I bought our house.

So I have accumulated wealth as a result of some things that cost some money up front -- a professional education and the opportunity to invest in real estate. Money that came from family wealth, even though it didn't come to me after someone died. So although I'd agree with you that the NW of lots of rich folks, especially around here, doesn't consist of directly inherited funds -- generational wealth is still at play.

Most of $$ you received from family was better than inheritance so you got HUGE a head start. Timing is everything, much better to receive $100K at age 30 vs. receiving $5m at age 70.

[Anonymous]

People keep saying "Not inherited" and maybe they don't get the money at death. But lots of people don't have their college paid for, their weddings paid for, their health care paid for, their food or rent paid for if they figure out how to pay for college. It's not a direct inheritance, but that support changes the ball game. I grew up on food stamps, and I was really really "behind" being an adult because all of those things were on me to pay for. And then I had the added benefit of "forgetting where I came from" when I did.

[Anonymous]

I grew up middle class which was a step up from my parents blue collar upbringing, but middle class in a very low cost of living area where the range between the poorest and richest people in my town was fairly narrow. I pursued a career that got me to the top 3-5% and married a partner who grew up in the top 5%. Now I am raising my kids in this bubble of privilege.

What surprised me before kids was just how easy life is when you have disposable income and live in a community where your address allows the assumption that you are well off. Friends from “back home” talk about home sales falling through because of bungled paperwork, issues with their daycare, stuff their kids don’t have at school because of failed funding, etc. I feel like I just have less day to day drama in my life.

What continually surprises me with raising kids is how intentional I have to be in what I expose them to and what I teach them. As a kid I had to make choices between things like dance lessons and sports. I had to spend my own money on “extra” shoes or clothes or buying cotton candy at the school fair. We gave our kids bikes when they expressed interest, not as a special Christmas present. I find myself often questioning when kids should save up for items themselves and when we should buy them - and if we pay when we should ask them to wait. We’ve been lucky so far that our kids don’t ask for a lot of “stuff” and aren’t materialistic (yet?) - but that makes it hard to teach lessons about money and budgeting.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised and how much rich people do not pay for things. I assumed that the people in the boxes at sporting events eating food, enjoying drinks were paying for those things and now I realize they are likely not. They are either sponsored by their company or they were invited by (also rich) friend. Same goes for people at vacations at nice resorts but really they are there for a “board retreat” and brought their family along. Or they have a business and write it all off. Or they are on vacation but they are generational wealth and their parents are footing the bill (even in their 30s-40s). Or staying in their friends second homes or boats. Growing up without much I would always calculate how much these outings might cost and how much these rich families were spending on them. Now I go to events or trips like this all the time and don’t spend a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in bottom 1% (food stamps, free hot lunches, absent father) and moved up to probably top 5% (est. 350k/yr.).
When I was coming up, I actually believed that poor people were poor because they didn't work hard, and that rich people busted their ass*s off to get rich. Hah, was I a fool.
1) The higher one moves up, the easier their job gets because of deference, prestige, etc.
2) 90+% of wealth in America is inherited, no one worked for it (except the dead people who actually built it).

This just isn't true.

https://www.ramseysolutions.com/retirement/how-many-millionaires-actually-inherited-their-wealth

Just how deep does the myth that millionaires’ wealth simply fell into their laps go? We found out that 74% of millennials believe millionaires inherited their money and more than half (52%) of baby boomers think the same thing.1

But our study of millionaires blows that theory out of the water. Here are the facts:

Only 21% of millionaires received any inheritance at all.
Just 16% inherited more than $100,000.
And get this: Only 3% received an inheritance at or above $1 million!2
Think about that: Most folks believe millionaires simply inherited their wealth, but the vast majority of millionaires didn’t get any inheritance at all—and those who did certainly didn’t get enough to make them millionaires!

Wealth compounding starts when you have the ability to save money and contribute to a retirement account in your 1st year out of college. Starting at $0 and working your way up is actually a privilege. So many people are fighting just to get to 0.

Inheritance is not always a lump sum you get when people die. My spouse graduated with $0.00 debt, mine was under $20k. The cost of undergraduate education, access to a safe and reliable vehicle, a cell phone on a parent’s plan, and parents who can carry you on their health insurance until your are 26 and front you money for a security deposit and 1 month rent has a value of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up middle class which was a step up from my parents blue collar upbringing, but middle class in a very low cost of living area where the range between the poorest and richest people in my town was fairly narrow. I pursued a career that got me to the top 3-5% and married a partner who grew up in the top 5%. Now I am raising my kids in this bubble of privilege.

What surprised me before kids was just how easy life is when you have disposable income and live in a community where your address allows the assumption that you are well off. Friends from “back home” talk about home sales falling through because of bungled paperwork, issues with their daycare, stuff their kids don’t have at school because of failed funding, etc. I feel like I just have less day to day drama in my life.

What continually surprises me with raising kids is how intentional I have to be in what I expose them to and what I teach them. As a kid I had to make choices between things like dance lessons and sports. I had to spend my own money on “extra” shoes or clothes or buying cotton candy at the school fair. We gave our kids bikes when they expressed interest, not as a special Christmas present. I find myself often questioning when kids should save up for items themselves and when we should buy them - and if we pay when we should ask them to wait. We’ve been lucky so far that our kids don’t ask for a lot of “stuff” and aren’t materialistic (yet?) - but that makes it hard to teach lessons about money and budgeting.

Give your kids an allowance and teach them how to budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised and how much rich people do not pay for things. I assumed that the people in the boxes at sporting events eating food, enjoying drinks were paying for those things and now I realize they are likely not. They are either sponsored by their company or they were invited by (also rich) friend. Same goes for people at vacations at nice resorts but really they are there for a “board retreat” and brought their family along. Or they have a business and write it all off. Or they are on vacation but they are generational wealth and their parents are footing the bill (even in their 30s-40s). Or staying in their friends second homes or boats. Growing up without much I would always calculate how much these outings might cost and how much these rich families were spending on them. Now I go to events or trips like this all the time and don’t spend a dime.

But don’t you pay sometimes? If you are going out on your friends’ boats, dining at their club, staying at their 2nd home, sitting in their luxury box - what do you do to reciprocate? My in-laws take friends to their condo on a nice ski mountain every year, but those same friends invite my in-laws to their beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in bottom 1% (food stamps, free hot lunches, absent father) and moved up to probably top 5% (est. 350k/yr.).
When I was coming up, I actually believed that poor people were poor because they didn't work hard, and that rich people busted their ass*s off to get rich. Hah, was I a fool.
1) The higher one moves up, the easier their job gets because of deference, prestige, etc.
2) 90+% of wealth in America is inherited, no one worked for it (except the dead people who actually built it).

This just isn't true.

https://www.ramseysolutions.com/retirement/how-many-millionaires-actually-inherited-their-wealth

Just how deep does the myth that millionaires’ wealth simply fell into their laps go? We found out that 74% of millennials believe millionaires inherited their money and more than half (52%) of baby boomers think the same thing.1

But our study of millionaires blows that theory out of the water. Here are the facts:

Only 21% of millionaires received any inheritance at all.
Just 16% inherited more than $100,000.
And get this: Only 3% received an inheritance at or above $1 million!2
Think about that: Most folks believe millionaires simply inherited their wealth, but the vast majority of millionaires didn’t get any inheritance at all—and those who did certainly didn’t get enough to make them millionaires!

Wealth compounding starts when you have the ability to save money and contribute to a retirement account in your 1st year out of college. Starting at $0 and working your way up is actually a privilege. So many people are fighting just to get to 0.

Inheritance is not always a lump sum you get when people die. My spouse graduated with $0.00 debt, mine was under $20k. The cost of undergraduate education, access to a safe and reliable vehicle, a cell phone on a parent’s plan, and parents who can carry you on their health insurance until your are 26 and front you money for a security deposit and 1 month rent has a value of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars at what age? Because while the equivalent of 500k of extra dollars at age 65 is nice, I wouldn't say that they're rich. They still need millions more to have a decent retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What surprised you most about being rich? Or what surprised you most about the lives of rich people?

How almost all of my anxieties can be resolved with "worst case scenario, I lose $xxxx, and that would not affect my life significantly, though I'd be very annoyed about it and am going to try to stop it." When that exact same amount of money took me more than 2 years to achieve as a net worth milestone after graduating college (starting from modest student debt).

Related. How easy it is to get money just for having money, and the argument is that you deserve that because you are taking a risk with your money (investing) and the government needs people to invest in stocks or in housing (and be landlords for people who may never have a home). I get this is the whole concept of capitalism, but it really makes me look at all of those "I worked hard for my money, why am I getting taxed so much" whiners in a different light. And it is easy to lose that same money in taking risks, but generally, a diversified and balanced investment portfolio goes up.

How people that come from family with money like to talk about how hard they worked for their standing in life, especially when they are young. It isn't that they didn't work hard, but they don't see how many people work just as hard and don't get the same result. Or how they can take certain risks (and get the reward) because they have always had a family safety net to fall back on if things didn't go right.

Mostly, how much easier life is, though. You just don't have to worry about little stuff, and can look at the bigger picture of finances & life.

Totally! It is easy to “bootstrap” a business when you have family money and resources to fall back on.

We are totally self made uhnw. Paid for college largely ourselves (between two of us we had 80k in loans 35 years ago—so a lot).

Our kids live a much different life and are acutely aware the advantages they have by having college paid for and a car given to them when they graduate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in bottom 1% (food stamps, free hot lunches, absent father) and moved up to probably top 5% (est. 350k/yr.).
When I was coming up, I actually believed that poor people were poor because they didn't work hard, and that rich people busted their ass*s off to get rich. Hah, was I a fool.
1) The higher one moves up, the easier their job gets because of deference, prestige, etc.
2) 90+% of wealth in America is inherited, no one worked for it (except the dead people who actually built it).

This just isn't true.

https://www.ramseysolutions.com/retirement/how-many-millionaires-actually-inherited-their-wealth

Just how deep does the myth that millionaires’ wealth simply fell into their laps go? We found out that 74% of millennials believe millionaires inherited their money and more than half (52%) of baby boomers think the same thing.1

But our study of millionaires blows that theory out of the water. Here are the facts:

Only 21% of millionaires received any inheritance at all.
Just 16% inherited more than $100,000.
And get this: Only 3% received an inheritance at or above $1 million!2
Think about that: Most folks believe millionaires simply inherited their wealth, but the vast majority of millionaires didn’t get any inheritance at all—and those who did certainly didn’t get enough to make them millionaires!

Wealth compounding starts when you have the ability to save money and contribute to a retirement account in your 1st year out of college. Starting at $0 and working your way up is actually a privilege. So many people are fighting just to get to 0.

Inheritance is not always a lump sum you get when people die. My spouse graduated with $0.00 debt, mine was under $20k. The cost of undergraduate education, access to a safe and reliable vehicle, a cell phone on a parent’s plan, and parents who can carry you on their health insurance until your are 26 and front you money for a security deposit and 1 month rent has a value of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars at what age? Because while the equivalent of 500k of extra dollars at age 65 is nice, I wouldn't say that they're rich. They still need millions more to have a decent retirement.

It all adds up. My kid has enough in Roth and 401k by 25 to have $1.5m at 65. By time they are 30 it will be well over 2m. That alone plus having a good car to get them to age 30 is a huge start. They save save save most of their money. They don’t have student loans. When their friends finish paying loans at ~32/34, my kid will have 2.4M+ equivalent for retirement and $100k saved for down payment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not giving a thought to how much anything costs. Not getting multiple quotes For things or looking at receipts. Not asking what something costs ahead of time.

Same. In the early days it was endless shopping around and getting deals. Now it's just a question if it'll make my life easier.